OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid
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Perhaps this could be useful!
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Until stupid can really be cured we can always do this!
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Emily .. you crack me up!!! I agree on the minimum age of Asparagus smoking being 18! But we know they'll sneak smoke it starting at age 11 or 12!
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Emily...that's it! thx for posting it!! all I did was google "funny asparagus pics" and that popped up ..didn't look at anything else, what did I miss?
hdangle...was that a shot they were serving when you were out with your friend? Sounds yummy!
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Here you go. Wear whenever a 'well meaning' stupid person gets near you.
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Has someone kidnapped Cure Guy? I recieved this in a plain white envelope on my doorstep this morning. What do you make of it?
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THEY have got at least two litle fellers being trained up to take over Cure Guy's position if something happens to him.
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Posted that Pink Ribbon finger on my facebook... too good to pass by!
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I woke up this morning to catch up on 1 1/2 pages. Today I won't be around. I'll probably come back to 5 pages. I'll be thinking about you guys all day. Maybe I'll pick up some asparagus on the way and wrap it up as gifts. I'll give it to my mom and my sister. They won't know what to do with it. I'll be rolling on the floor laughing. I better get some lemons and garlic too.
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I think if we all post the "pink ribbon finger" to our FB page it will be a lot more effective then a banana, don't ya think??? puff, puff, puff-- uh oh, medical marijuana has made me stooopid what did I just say??!! pass!
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OMG you ladies have me rolling over here! Wish I would have found this thread sooner!
Here's one for you, although I didn't recieve it in the form of an e-mail (wish I had it would have been easier to ignore) I was told at length by a woman mind you who had battled breast cancer and did it through traditional means but swears by this for keeping the reoccurance boogey man away about the berry diet. Apparently all berries are alkaline in nature (even the ones like cranberries that really are acidic but it has berry in the name so....) and since cancer needs an acidic environment to grow in, yada yada yada.... I had to bite my tounge so hard throughout this conversation. My husband is a nurse and I was (out of school atm due to treatment) pre-nursing at the time of this conversation. The body's naturally occuring pH level is 7.35 and 7.45. Eating anything to radically shift blood pH in one direction or another is bad, you end up with either alkalosis or acidosis and both can be deadly and are detrimental to the body. Unfortunately this woman is a friend's mother so I just smiled and nodded and tried to be polite as possible as she told me how dedicated you had to be to do the berry fast. So ladies make sure to add berries into your concoctions and pass me that, puff puff give!!! Lol!
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I'm sitting here eating a bowl of strawberries as I read the last post. How strange is that. Anyway I have a friend who has stage 4 cancer and is doing everything she can to change her pee from acidic to alkaline to cure her cancer. I have to bite my tongue too.
Okay, back to my bowl of berries.
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Love this thread.
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Love this thread.
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Emily and Angel...too darn funny!!! I think we should make a recipe book to give to those who need to be cured for stupid, they would pay top dollar and hand them out instead of fruitcakes during holiday time. You are all too funny, thanks for the laughs!!!
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Who knew..there are OTHER ways to smoke asparagus..
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Day two after treatment two and this thread gave me a reason to get up!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!
Emily - as usual - thank you for the updated reciepe!! I gave this site to my ONC Team yesterday ... I can't wait to hear how he reacted to it!
Here's another: Add Baking Soda to your baths (to reduce acid) ... and I mean cups of it! Industrial bags sold at Costco or Sams! And, to recharge your crystal (that you should rub in a clockwise motion over your organs ... on your back ... ) set them out in the full moon ... and you can add them to your bath as well ..
A firend is sending me a "book" Monday ... I should have all sorts of giggling to do ...
Puff puff puff puff ... passing
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It's nice to have something to look forward to during treaatment. Can't wait to hear about your new book. Maybe it will hold the cure? Maybe it will be stupid!
puff puff pass........
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Mak-I'll rake that pass!! Love the new pic ...
Is it too late to oder the bacon bra? I'm a size A and C ... I have to think they can be custom made ... I quit eating meat at 13 ... So I am happy to say I found my cause!!! Oh crap ... it's probably the sugar ... or bread ... I have to think about this some more ... oh, then there's the bitterness ..
Are Hashbrownies any good???
bubble bubble, inhale ... exhale ... passing ...
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blah: Love your stars quote and love that effing finger! Ha! Is that yours or did you borrow it?
When ever I send thank you notes for BC helpful gifts, I always PS F@$k Cancer.
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F@$k Cancer use to be my signature in here, and I still have it on my phone as a banner. Boy, were my kids surprised when they saw that! They should have known I'd have something strong to say about it; I swear like a sailor sometimes.
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I was told to drink 3 glasses of grape juice a day for two weeks; and it had to be Welch's grape juice (no generic or off brands) because the grapes that Welch's uses are "special" blah blah blah... I can't remember if it was supposed to cure me or just help side effects or what. Damn, I didn't do it. That's probably why I've just been diagnosed with ovarian cancer in addition to my BC!!
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Girl Friday: haha no, I borrowed the effin' finger!! I hope the woman whose it is doesn't mind. It's just so fitting! Regarding the stars quote, thank you... it's just awesome to see the stars in the darkness! Your PS on your thank you notes is very appropriate!
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All kidding aside, LadyinBama, I'm sorry to hear that you are now facing ovarian cancer.0
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LOL...you ladies are hilarious!!! I just got back from a weekend away and have completely peed myself laughing throught the latest 15 pages. Followed the suggestion and used Bounty to clean it up, now I have chocolate and coconut all over my pants. Who would have thought cures could be culturally inappropriate. I have now taken to smoking asparagus standing on my head just in case, what with being "down under" and all.
JanetInVirginia thanks so much for the "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt. Someone many pages, wet pants and Bounty Bars back, suggested a "Race for the Cure" for stupidity but didn't know what t-shirts the "victims" (survivors???) should be wearing. I thought "Well I dunno what they are going to be wearing but I know what t-shirt I will be wearing as I stand on the sideline cheering them on!" So thanks for finding that shirt.
Makraz, just want you to know that you are now one of my FAVOURITE people on this board as I so totally get and love your humour.
Puff........pass...(this is hard to do from this angle)
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Hey Fuzzylemon thanks for directing me to this thread... It's hilarious!!!! I have been reading the first ten pages or so and can't stop laughing... I have to admit I am soooooooo jealous of you ladies where you have access to some medical puff puff...
Ok--- I know this thread is all about stupid cure suggestions..but I have a story about stupid and tasteless...and I really laugh when I remember it... When I decided to go for a bilateral mastuctomy with implants, my sister in law (who's had some kind of rivalry with me over the past ten years) looked at her husband and said... Well if she's getting implants.. I'm getting implants too!!
Gosh... so I guess I am lucky getting those implants afterall... :-)
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LadyinBama: I'm so sorry to hear about your OC! I started this BC process with a concern that a previously diagnosed fibroid was giving me more trouble, the lump in my breast I just thought was a cyst. Well now that I've been most of the BC treatment nastiness (5/33 rads done) I checked in to get an endometrial biopsy...they decided no, ultrasound was what I needed so no biopsy. Finally got my ultrasound, and voila, my fibroid has tripled in two years, and now I have a complex cyst on my left ovary. I've 37 no family history of any cancers. I didn't get the BRCA testing yet because insurance won't cover it. But WTF! I'm waiting to see the specialist next week. As my nurse practioner sister said..."Holy Uterine Explosion!" I feel for you LadyinBama. I thought I was tired of having my tits out, now I find myself in the stirrups all of the time! F&$K CANCER!
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Thanks Sandy, I'm glad you get my humor! I love this thread too. Maybe we can cure ourselves with laughter.
Ladyinbama, I'm sorry to hear your facing more cancer too. I hope the laughter on this thread eases your mind for awhile.
I am off to cure this headache of mine with a nice coffee enema. I hope the caffeine goes straight to my head. After I will take a nice mud bath and soak awhile, while smoking some asparagus.
Puff puff pass!
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I'm having a late moring cup of coffee with a packet of hot chocolate mix and half and half. I came to catch up on this thread but I gues everyone is out trying to find the Cure Guy.
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