OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

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  • Europa
    Europa Member Posts: 39

    Can I put the baking soda on my asparagus and then smoke it??? HMMM.... cluck cluck!

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258

    OMG!  Black socks and sandals?  If the cure guy DID see you, he would take off running!  Does he also wear those longish shorts?  And have hairy legs?  And a bandana around his neck.  Okay, yeah, ditch the guy. Wink

    Yes, a box of soda.... maybe sprinkle it in your bed, then you can sleep without any fear...  Isn't science wonderful?

    And yes, of course!  Make a batter.... oh wait!  Milk is bad too... I forgot.  But use eggs and flour, dip the asparagus in the batter, and let set for about 5 days in the hot sun.... THEN you can smoke it!  But only then. 

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,921

    NO black socks with sandals!!! Wool hiking socks, however, are just fine. Look anywhere in Seattle and you will see. As soon as we hit 50 or have a sunny day, guys put on their shorts, wool socks, sandals, and fleece jackets. Sandals should be Birkenstocks or Merrells.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258

    But not Crocs!  Crocs are only for "older" women like me, who go for comfort rather than looks.

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    Well that one made me laugh. He doesnt wear bandannas around his neck but he does wear one on his head. Hes an old biker from way back. Doesnt have hairy legs though. But he insists theres nothing wrong with black socks and sandals. Im going to buy him some flip-flops so he cant wear socks at all. I on the otherhand do love my Birks.Crocs make my feet stink and I cant have that while Im hunting the cure guy.

  • veggy
    veggy Member Posts: 4,150

    No flour, no white sugar and only sea salt in your recipes. Definitely no sugar from any source... Fruit, artificial, maple sugar, honey. Cancer feeds on sugar. You may use eggs only if you know the chickens personally. That tends to lead to another problem... stealing the chicken's offspring. Milk contains lactose which is a sugar. If you like mushrooms and onions you can dry them along with the asparagus for the five days mentioned previously. Make sure to dip it in lemon juice while wearing your bacon bra and tin foil hats. Do the chicken dance while holding a couple rolls of Bounty paper towels between your legs.



    Clucks!

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258

    Oh you guys.... You are the reason I keep coming back to this computer!  Wink

    Mary, why don't you wear your Crocs in the shower?  I sometimes do, and that's like killing two birds...  (oops, sorry chicks) with one stone!  I can't wear sandles with that rope between your toes....  The cure guy said, that is a big PROblem with causing cancer between the toes.  And Birkenstocks?  Aren't those expensive? 

    An "old biker"???  Yes, so was my DH.... until his last one sort of fell over, with him on it, and it was too hard to get him upright again!!!   Sold it... along with our dreams... Cry  Do you remember those wild rides with him???  And burning your leg on the tail-pipe?  Maybe THAT'S why I got cancer.......  Too much fun on the bike.  Smile

    And I don't have a foil hat!  Do you have the floor-plans for one?  I DO have a bacon-bit bra...  It fastens in the front...  I dreamed of the cure guy while I was wearing it.... He said it looked good.

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    Seriously, we have been looking for a three-wheeler. Ive heard they were sooo different. But I do miss it . We havnt had one since my kids were small. But he still dresses the part. Geuss you dont ever get rid of that biker blood. As far as the Birks go, I inherited two good pairs from my mom. No bacon bra, will have to work on that before I go, while Im putting together my own beach wardrobe. Dont have my bikini yet lol. Im afraid the tin foil hat will give me a sunburn with the reflection off the water, will have to come up with a substitute. Have to blend in though, dont want to lose the cure guy if I find him. I heard he was hiding out in the everglades, where hes working on a new cure having to do with alligator eggs... Isnt that exciting? Maybe I can get an alligator bra and hat out of it while Im there.....

  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737

    Maybe this is what we need.

    Must have been using baking soda the wrong way all these years. Another thing that is supposed to cure everything is honey, maybe we should mix it with baking soda!!

    Please no socks with sandels, not cool in this part of the world.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258

    No!  You mix honey with cinnamon!  That is the cinnamon cure...!  Maybe baking soda too?  Don't know about that one... 

    I went four-wheeling one time!  Almost went in the creek!  Good thing a tree stopped me.  I don't do bikini's.....  I never had one when I would have looked GOOD in one!  Not proper, they say.  

    Cure guy?  Everglades?  And alligator eggs?  Sounds  like a fun date to me. 

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    I dont think socks and sandals are cool in ANY part of the world. If you find someplace Ill send him there and go by myself.Wink

  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737

    A lot of older English men wear sandeals and socks!!!!

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    True, they do that in Miami too, Somehow though I dont think my husband would quite fit in with the poodle walking crowd, even with his black socks and sandals, and he really has his heart set on an airboat ride through the everglades.

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671

    well on the Jersey shore, socks and sandels just not the correct style

    more just the flip flops to comply with the 'NO BARE FEET" rule and still comfee

  • sam52
    sam52 Member Posts: 431

    Seriously....baking soda and maple syrup has been touted as a cure (not by me)

    Think there's even a thread devoted to it somewhere on this board.

    bwaggawk

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258

    Sam, I just googled that!  Actually they said you can die.... that's being expired.... no longer around... DONE, if you ingest baking soda.  And there ARE people who believe this!   

    Some people will believe ANYthing rather than do conventional medicine.  My hopes are with the cancer cure guy.  Him, and bacon and  grape-seed extract, and an aluminum hat with chicken feathers glued on it..... while wearing black socks and sandals..... and shorts.

  • lostinmo
    lostinmo Member Posts: 332

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    Veggy have you been hunting the cure guy in my neck of the woods? Saw a handwritten sign in a front yard today that says Get Veggy and chicks here!

  • shellshine
    shellshine Member Posts: 930

    I have been feeling so down, log in here and you guys have me laughing in no time....thank you!     I have a smile on my face.

    ~Michelle

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    this is a little ot but its a funny story so I hope you like it. I was thinking about it today while I was packing for my trip and thought you guys would appreciate it. A couple years ago , we took my dd and sil and my youngest ds and a friend to the beach. My mom and dad had a house on the canal down there. Now you have to imagine the boats in this canal. I think my dad was the only one who didnt have a big boat, all he had was a sturdy blow up raft with a motor on it and a canoe. Dh, sil and my sons friend decided to take the raft out. It hadnt been used in years.So off they went. Now picture this, you have my dh with his black socks and sandals, sil with all his many tatoos and sons friend who wouldnt take his cowboy hat or boots off for any reason. They had all the attention they wanted in this blow-up raft. About 10 minutes after they left dh comes running down the street and says the raft motor quit we have to use the canoe to go get it, but he was being really evasive. So off he goes paddling the canoe with my son. Back by all these people on their docks again. Theyre gone about 15 minutes this time, and here they come back dh and sil pulling the raft with the canoe with cowboy and other son in it. By now they have all these people hooting at them. They get back and the motor is Gone from the raft! I said what happened? They said the board that the motor was sitting on broke and the motor is in the bottom of the canal. Dh says I was going to jump in after it but it was still running when it fell in. Even though it was like a 500 dollar motor I started laughing and couldnt quit. I went out the next day and got dh and sil coffee cups that say I buried my treasure at Ocean Isle Beach.

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258

    Mary!  I laughed out loud, and woke my Husband up, Ha, ha!  Yes I can picture it! 

    Okay, so about 12 years ago, we went to Orlando to be with Daughter #1 and her family.... Drove to Singer Island for a couple nights.  Now I am NOT a good swimmer... So we are on the beach, and wade into the water.... crazy as hell little Grandson... (16) thinks I can "boogie board"....  So DD and he, tell me to "just lay on it!".... and okay, I get on it.   So I feel like a puffer fish on this little board!  They are standing on each side of me.... waves coming at me like a Mother! 

    I am whining, whimpering... they talk softly to calm my fears....  I can't help it... I AM POSITIVE I AM GOING TO ROLL OVER AND DROWN!    Grandson finally has had enough, and says "GRAMS!  Put your feet down, you can STAND!"  Little Brat!  I thought we were surely out in the middle of the ocean somewhere!  Not only did I not want to get my hair wet, I also preferred not to drown. 

    So they won't be taking me boogie-boarding any time soon...maybe never...Wink

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,258

    Just a side-note here..... This is NOT me! 

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    Oh! looks alot like me! - 1boob, hair and add about 50 steroid pounds, we could be twins!

  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737

    Friend on facebook said she saw a guy in a kilt hitchhiking  on the Northway and she didn't stop to pick him up. It might have been the cureguy. Gosh we always miss out.

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    o.k little chicklets its been very quiet on this thread the past couple days. Where is everybody? You all have a lovely week, im off on my trip tomorrow and am not taking my computer with me. Hope you all have a good week and I will let you know if I have any leads on the cure guy.xoxo

  • veggy
    veggy Member Posts: 4,150

    Cure guy?

    or

    False alarm?

  • veggy
    veggy Member Posts: 4,150

  • veggy
    veggy Member Posts: 4,150

  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737

    False alarm I think Veggy

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    OMG the one on the bottom may be the one Ill be hunting in the everglades! Look at that sword! Wish me luck!