Scary BC tumor removal photos
Comments
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Hello again Eve - you said: 'In response to zuvart suggesting maud leave bco that she has outgrown it', I believe Zuvart had Chilli in mind when she said that it was too early to encourage her to come back. We're all glad you keep coming back to BCO Eve and to count you as a true friend, hugs
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Joy, yes, I meant to post my suggestion to the other thread, and realized after that I had messed it up.
Even a "Debate and questions" thread that is pinned at the top could perhaps solve the problem. Those who do not want to be questioned could just skip that thread, but it would still be possible for others to discuss the pros and cons of various therapies.0 -
Yes, that was my idea too. I guess it would get heated at times but it would take that heat away from the women who need support. Maybe the mods could move the inevitable debate and criticisms to that thread when they pop up in support threads.
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The only issue with a "no debate" thread is that I seriously doubt those who wish to disrupt would not follow the rules any more than they do on other threads.
The best way to deal with the abusers is to simply ignore them, either by placing them on ignore so you can't see their posts or just not responding to their comments which are designed to create chaos and ultimately a lock down of the thread. When we take them on, we are playing right into their hands and giving them exactly what they want. Their job is to eliminate as many alternative discussions as possible and drive away those who are providing the information that others are looking for.
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Kaara, true enough, but my understanding from the discussion so far is that there is a group of alties who do not want ANY questioning or discussion of the therapies. They consider all questions to be essentially unsupportive and disruptive. Trolls can be banned and will always be with us. But those of us who are not trolls, but who would like to be able to discuss and ask questions would be able to do so in a separate thread that would not interfere with the people wanting to have support.
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Momine: I guess I don't frequent any of those threads, so I'm unclear about the ultimate goal. Anyway, hope it works out for all who are interested.
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I wish the discussion did not carry on Chilli's thread.
Momine: "there is a group of alties who do not want ANY questioning or discussion of the therapies"
Like Kaara, I have not yet met one 'altie' who sports that attitude, so I don't know where that is coming from. If the questioning or discussion is done in a respectful, genuine desire to learn, any 'altie' I know will be gracious and very happy to pass along any bit of info she has in the spirit of sharing.
I guess one's tone becomes the issue as the 'alties' are becoming extremely sensitive and defensive due to the harrassment and haraguing they've been subjected to, starting with being labeled 'altie' which I find derogative, as most of the sisters on BCO have the conventional treatment under our belt
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I wish the discussion did not carry on Chilli's thread. <end quote>
How are you feeling today Chillipadi? Sending healing prayers you're way my friend
xoxo
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Hi Chillipadi! I'm checking in after many weeks of not being here, and you're the first person I wanted to look up. How AWESOME that you got to meet Mrs L from the black salve website! It's even more awesome that you are seeing improvements from your own use of the black salve treatment. Way to go girl! To have the privilege of meeting face to face someone who has truly walked in your shoes and lived to tell the tale, well, that must have been tremendously uplifting for you.
The value of a good support system should never be underestimated. It provides benefits beyond anything that a lab can measure. ...or maybe it could be measured if someone bothered to try. Conversely, the effects of stress are well documented to be negative over prolonged periods of time. Negativity continues in abundance here I see. During my absence from bco, I've been pleasantly preoccupied with new friends I am finding through my distance learning experience for health and nutrition counselling. The only thing I miss about bco now is connecting with the friends I've found here.
There's plenty of places to connect. Please send me a pm with instructions on how to find you outside of this place. I care about you deeply chillipadi. You are an inspiration! I want to be with you when you kick that last tumor to the curb! ....figuratively speaking of course. I agree with previous comments that your 'explusions' should be examined 50 different ways under a microscrope, so please to don't literally place it at the curb.
I encourage you to find a place that can provide more positive reinforcement. People who make negative, dismissive, or derogatory comments are reflecting upon themselves, not you. Unfortunately, if that realization manages to get through, it's likely after a flood of stress has coursed through your body, generating untold numbers of free radicals. Protection from stressful comments is clearly beyond what bco can provide. One site cannot be all things for all people. I am very grateful to bco for many things. I've also moderated message boards in the past, and reigning in bullies is not at all an easy thing to do. So if you need a more private place to share your story, please find one and use it. And recruit a supporter to monitor who can have access. It's a much better option than allowing someone knee deep in negativity to stop you from sharing your story. BCO literally has tens of thousands of members. Your support net during this critical juncture won't be that massive. You can reach the tens of thousands, or more, when you're well again. In the meantime, {{{{{{{{{{{big hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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((Chilli)) I think of you every morning as I walk. As the sun rises, it catches the love I'm sending out and carries it across the world to you.
Hope you feel up to posting sometime, but understand if you don't. ((hugs))
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Has anyone heard from Chilli via email or a blog? I'd really love to know if she's okay and how her treatment is progressing.
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She said she was not going to post on this site any longer due to the bad commentary she was receiving from a few. We can only hope she is ok. If she's still reading but not posting we should all continue to offer her support and send healing energy her way.
Sending you healing energy Chilli...hope you read this!
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Chilli---
You dont know me. I just found your blog and your cancer story. Im sending nothing but the best of best thoughts to you.
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Kaara ~ thanks for letting us know. I'm so sorry that Chilli isn't comfortable posting here anymore.
Chilli ~ if you're reading this, please know that you're much on my mind and in my prayers. Take good care. Love, hugs and best wishes to you.
Artemis
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Chillipadi, I have followed your journey and decision to try the black salve. I admire your courage and send support and empathy to you and to your DH in his dedicated caretaking of you. Please PM me if you continue with your blog so that I can follow your progress. I am hoping your experience will be comparable to your brave new friend. Gentle hugs, October
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I work in a hospital in Pittsburgh with a large breast cancer center. Although it is uncommon I have seen about 5 patients in the last 4 years present with what is called large fungating masses where the tumor erodes through breast tissue, into chest wall. We even had one patient where her tumor eroded through artery. She had acute bleed, was transferred to ICU, and i'm not sure what happened to her after that. These patients are inoperable b/c there is no way surgery can get the entire tumor. The goal is to try to get the cancer under control with chemotherapy or XRT so surgery can be done at a later date. Unfortunately none of these things have worked for Chillipadi and it breaks my heart that she comes here for support only to be criticized. Some people can be very cruel.
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Thinking of you, Chilli. Love and hugs.
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Would someone be kind enough to PM me her blog? I think of her often and wonder what she is going through now.
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I think of you every day Chili and hope you are doing well.
Maggie
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Chilli, I too wish you the best. I think your leaving has been a terrible loss to this forum. I've been very curious about black salve for a long time and was really enjoying your updates. I think you really might be on to something too.
If someone has a blog address for Chilli, I'd be thrilled if you'd PM it to me too so I can offer support and encouragement for whatever method she is trying. We need to be kinder to one another here; we all just want to live and are just doing our best!
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Amen to kindness, regardless of the tx choices we make! And sometimes, we have few or no choices. Best wishes to you chilli. Caryn
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I would love to know what her blog is, too. Miss you, Chilli!
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The only blog/website that I know of for Chillipadi was one she posted a while ago in one of her threads. It hasn't been updated in over a year, though, so I don't know if this is the most recent one, or if there is another:
I've been thinking about her alot lately and checking for updates, hoping she's doing well.
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Please, anyone who does have her current info, do not post it here and use discrimination if you are going to PM anyone. The last thing Chillipadi needs is to have her safe haven invaded by the same people who chased her away from BCO
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Maud: I only posted the link because it was one she had posted herself several months ago. I would be happy to delete it if you think I should.
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Nancy, it's ok, as you said it's an old, inactive blog, hugs
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I don't know what went wrong here and while I respect people's choices, I also respect giving people full information about their choises. Black salve isn't a benign alternative therapy. It can cause extensive pain, erosion and inflammation of surrounding tissues and I think a person should be given this information as well. On Quackwatch, they have pictures as well of what happened to people who used it. I think what chilipad needs the most is emotional support, so often short in the medical field. People are not their diseases, they are not statistics, they are people with feelings. We are a culture that avoids issues of impending death, issues of dealing with devastating illnesses and in having that "hole", it is then filled with people who wish to make large amounts of money giving out false hope with potentially harmful remedies that still, ultimately, denies the person pallative treatments design to reduce suffering emotionally and physically. If black salve were completely harmless, it would be no problem suggesting it as a soothing cream...the mind can do wonderful things....but it is not safe. I think there are still ways of addressing chilipad's problems, but this errosive salve is not one of them. It may very well create more pain for her with no benefits; at least the doctor's realize this by not offering anymore chemo, radiation or therapy; now would be the time to offer love, emotional safety, compassion, release from both physical and emotional pain, a soft place to lay down as they say. I hope, somewhere, chilipad has found this. She deserves the best!!!!
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Dear bluepearl, why do you think it has no hope of working for chilli? Because Quackwatch says so? Do you have personal experience wihth the salve? Do you personally know anyone who has used it? And mostly, what does safety matter anyway if the alternative is just palliative treatment and a nice soft place to die? Chilli is clearly not ready to lay down! That is her choice and we should have supported her, regardless of what we would personally choose if we were in her situation.
edited to add: this is not just directed at bluepearl's post, but how I feel about many of the threads in this forum where the bickering starts over whether a choice is valid or not and then the whole thread disintegrates. It gets so ugly at times. In my 'real' life, I find myself avoiding BC support groups for the same reason -alternative vs conventional treatments is almost like politics, or religion!
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I really wish quackwatch would stay out of this conversation, thread, forum, site
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Thank you, weedgirl,
I think chilli is also fully aware of what she was getting into when she chose that tx. I totally agree about the alt vs. conventional bickering. My treatment is primarily conventional, complemented by diet, exercise and some supplements. I would like to be aware and open to many things but it sometimes feels like I have to "choose" a side. To me, there is only one thing to fight against , breast cancer, not each other. Caryn0
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