2013 Survivors!!!
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liefie I subscribe to Scorchy's blog http://thesarcasticboob.com/author/susanhamson/ so you can go to the link and catch up with her. She is such a brilliant writer.
Day 3 in Kathmandu and off for a week trek tomorrow with a guide and porter~~I know the guide from past treks and we did the same one in 2012 though I will be taking a lot slower this year. I am sitting on my balcony with honeysuckle and bougainvillea blooming beside me. It is still cool in the mornings and evenings but should be perfect for trekking. I am still tired but I have come half way around the world!
Chirsrenee, I loved the photos.
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Chrisrenee -- Your son & girlfriend look great together, like they belong in Hollywood !
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Thanks, Marian! I read some of the pieces, and it is really worth reading. Enjoy your time in Kathmandu, and take it easy.
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hello
I am new to this. I am hoping to find survivor skills from all of you. I was diagnosed in 2012/1 and have had chemo and a mastectomy on the left, reduction on the right. One drain on the left with expander placed followed by an implant on the left that I couldn't stand and after removing that I had a TRAM flap done with 3 drains placed. I feel like I have traveled this road mostly alone. I can't seem to find a support group in the two cities that (I live in) and/or get treatment in. I had no one to get advice from before surgeries..good surgeons ect. I was told the ones I use are the ones that every one used. My support system is week. I am done with all treatment except Tomoxifen and its side affects. Not sure if thing happening to me are normal or if it is me not handling the situation. My husband and family just tell me i'm getting old. So this is where I am starting after my two yrs into it. I just had my 6 month check up Monday. Liver enzymes are high so I had a abdominal CAT done yesterday. I wasn't really worried till today, unless I just let the worry come to surface. My support group (family) think treatment is over, your well, don't talk about it. That really isn't working for me. We have had several stressful happenings in my family so I am thinking maybe I am being to (about me) with this. I just need to know how other women are handling this please.
Thanks for any advice, comfort, knowledge you all can give me.
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Hi Socks, welcome here! You've come to the right place. Here you can let out all the feelings and thoughts that you wish to share. Nobody understands like the people on Breastcancer.org. They've gone through everything you went through, and know what you are talking about. I'm finding that I do not discuss my cancer experience much with anybody else anymore, but here I feel free to express my feelings. It gives us a place to vent to people who get it. Sad as it is, our family and friends are sympathetic, but once active treatment is over, they expect us to be back to normal again. It just does not work that way, and that's why this is such a good place to come for advice, support or friendship. Come back and talk to us often!
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Welcome Socks. As Liefie said here is the place to express any emotion you may be feeling. And I agree, once treatment is over everyone gets back to normal and doesn't think FC exists in our lives anymore. WRONG ! We don't have to be defined or live our lives constantly thinking about cancer, but it is the new normal (whatever that may be). My DH the other night. I am going to see a surgeon for an ooph (Nan died of ovarian cancer) and hes asking all these questions, which is wonderful - he cares so much, but he's like "so when will they stop taking bits from you? when does it end". I couldn't answer him.
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welcome socks! This is the place for you. A lot if us go through the same things including the whole "ok treatment is over you're good now" when you really want to say "no I'm not! I need you more than ever now!" You just come here and type it out. We're here for you!
Juneau it's been a while how are things?
Websister, Lostinmo how are you feeling?
Tazzy almost garden time! If ever you run out if room my yard is your yard!
Everyone - TGIF! Enjoy your weekend!
Karen
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Karen : You have no idea how tempting your offer is. I am very excited about it being almost garden time.Happy weekend all - enjoy and make wonderful memories xxxx
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Last Friday I had yet another mole removed and biopsied. This one a tiny pin size black dot on the top of my foot. She said she took a deep shave to make sure she got it all. Well, they called me today and said that there were pre-cancerous cells in the biopsy, but they got clear margins so at least I do not have to go back for another biopsy. I am so glad my MO insisted that I still get this last spot done. The dermatologist said after the first 2 came back normal that it was upto me to decide if we did this last one. I would have been very upset with myself if I had not done it and later it turned into melanoma! I can now have a break since I have no appointments until the end of April when I go back to MO. I can't remember a time when I went almost 2 months without a doctor's appointment! Hopefully this means things are hopefully getting back to normal. I am still doing PT on my shoulder, but it seems to be getting better very slowley so hopefully I won't need surgery to fix it. It would be nice to go 6 months without someone in my family or myself needing surgery! I am praying we are done for a while!
Thanks for letting me vent tonight!
Have a great weekend everyone and hugs to all my sisters!!!!
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Momof3 - phew! Let this be a lesson to all of us! Yes, going for a length of time without drs appointments makes our lives feel normal again. In the 57 years before bc I hardly ever needed a dr, and then the rollercoaster . . . On April 23 I'm getting the final tweaks to my reconstruction surgery. After that I hope to see very little of drs. Sick of them.
Have a good weekend everyone!
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Hi, I hope it's ok to chime in as a newbie...:) . I was diagnosed in April 2013 (<1cm IDC, stage 1, 0/3 SLN, er+, low grade, additional LCIS/DCIS, tiny ILC, hyperplasia, you name it-nothing on the right) and already feel amazed it's been almost a year. I don't do alot of looking over my shoulder, cuz, dammit I enjoy life and the actual fact is, no one healthy or otherwise is promised time, right? None of us are-that is an illusion. I am not young anymore, so just can't waste time in that. I work hard and enjoy it; travel when I can; love my friends an family; and get a nice load of books and TV. I'm probably healthier now than I was. Ain't that the truth? My creeping cholesterol went down among other things.....I do wish we could change "survivor" to something else....Cancer Rejector or Cancer Beater or Cancer F*cker or something else. I know my path has been easier than other's and it could get bad in the future at some point, but I just refuse to think like that. There are never times that I forget what has happened to my body, but I also never feel that I've been conquered or devastated. When I chose the bilateral for prophylatic reasons, it was to try to avoid the other types of damage to my body; and due to the knolwedge that my risk was about 40% due to other path findings. Or I'd not have done it. If Rads and chemo didn't threaten other organs, i'd have preferred them with the one lumptectomy and worried about the clear breast later.. But I figured, in for a penny, in for a pound of flesh. Or in my case, maybe 10. Doing that cut my risk to below 5% for recurrence. Here's hopin'.
So now I go forward, and I don't have a pink flag...to me surviving is the only option-but really living is a choice. I want to be a Cancer....Liver? Not that doesn't quite work does it? But we do much more than survive. We conqure the negative of the idea that we have cancer or may have it again. We conquer it's mental power over us, by simply getting on with our lives. That is what our true talent is. The question of actual cure is more and more unclear, because doctors sense that that they cure some cancer patients, .but are often reluctant to go there definitively, because we just can't know. But I think we do control how we preceive it...I think that is 99% of all 'battles'. How successful we are in defeating those mental effects of cancer is in proportion to how much power we give cancer over us.
There we go, I want to be a Cancer Power Ranger. !
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Hi Everyone,
I have been silent, still waiting for my insurance to approve the genetic testing( my older sister died at age 44 from a rare type of stomach cancer that is now genetically tested to breast and colon cancer. that my new oncologist wants me to have. If I have this gene they want me to have part of my stomach removed and both breasts. Scarey thoughts
The Genetic doctor messed up something with the insurance the first time so starting over. WAITING is sooo hard. I been waiting since December. GRRRR
I agree that once the treatment is over people seem to think it is done, over with and that I am fine. I am not fine, I am so very tired from the Tamoxifen. I see my Onchologist on Friday for a 3 month check up and I will also be getting my first mammo since radiation and surgery - and that does freak me out. The girl is still sore where the incision was. Scares the living daylights out of me to have it actually. My cancer was found on my first ever mammo so having another really scares me.
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Welcome, Socks and Msjackiefan and good to hear from you again, ndgrrl
Socks - I hope you get your results from the abdominal CT back soon, waiting is so hard - hopefully nothing - I have heard that tamoxifen can increase the liver enzymes
ndgrrl - understand the mammogram anxiety, we'll be in your pockets on Friday for your appointments
Momof3 - good thing the mole was removed and they got clean margins; glad you have a break now from all those appointments
Liefie - you're getting closer - hope there is one doctor that you will continue to see on a regular basis and that you're not sick of him
Karen - you asked how I was feeling - not my favorite subject right now. I read about how everyone is getting back to normal, moving on and I am thrilled for everyone but I know that it is not happening for me. Over the last two weeks I seem to be experiencing more fatigue, if I push it I become nauseated. I have yet to be able to make it back to full time hours at work. I was sent home early on Friday as I was told I was looking 'mighty tired' and I was definitely feeling that way. I really love my work and the people I work with so I don't think this is a mental thing.
This weekend was one of the worst yet re: energy levels; I tried to rest up where I could as the upcoming week at work has several workshops planned that I am supposed to be co-facilitating - Wednesday there are four 1 1/2 hour workshops.
Saturday - I rested in the morning; did a little housework in the afternoon; walked on the treadmill on an easier walking program than normal, was short of breath during and thought I might faint. Rested for a bit afterward; then got ready to go out - went out and watched a good friends children skate in a precision skating exhibition from 7 to 8; visited with them and a few other friends who also came from 8 to about 9; started feeling nauseated and tired so we came home and I went to bed. Today I rested again during the morning then began to prepare for the birthday supper that we had for two of my sons, born 10 years and 2 days apart. Rested again for about half an hour from 3:30 to 4:00. It was a wonderful time and the meal exceeded my expectations but by 7 I was feeling nauseated and tired again. Also having some other symptoms that I find concerning.
My cardiologist appointment is Thursday this week - can't come soon enough at the moment.
Hope that doesn't sound too depressing - I don't feel I can express or share my concerns too much anywhere else at the moment; glad to have this forum.
LostinMo - would also love an update from you.
Take care, everyone
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Momof3, Glad you getting a vaca from the Dr's!
Websister, so sorry to hear you not feeling up to par. Glad you going to the Dr. to get checked...do you have results from that monitor test? In your pockets.
I got home from Fla and visiting my Dad on Thurs. Always nice to spend time with him. While there, I discovered what looks like a red mark on lefty. Of course this makes me nervous. I have an appt with BS on Thrus. This is appt I had scheduled day after I broke my wrist. I thought I was having a mamm on lefty so called to see if I could have both done since yearly is in June anyway. They checked with Dr. and apparently I am to wait till June but still made sure I will have appt with him on Thurs to get this checked out.
Next few weeks will be busy with a friend in for 10 days while she closes on her house here, bridal shower for my future DIL on Sat, a visit to my DD in Indiana next weekend and before we turn around, I'll head back to Fla to spend Passover with Dad. DS's law school graduation in Knoxville in May and then the wedding Memorial Day weekend.....
But first this Thursday, we can all say (weather or not) SPRING HAS SPRUNG!
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I want to welcome the newbies!
Websister - I am sorry you are feeling so bad and hope you get answers soon! In your pockets as always!
Liefie - I hope everything goes well for you also and in your pockets also!
Ndgrrl - glad to hear from you again and completely understand how you feel about mammo as I felt the same way also! We are hear for you and will be in your pockets for support! I hope they get the genetic testing figured out quickly for you and I also hope that it turns out negative for you!
Aruba - I am glad to hear that your visit with Dad was great, but sorry to hear that you have a spot! At least you are getting it checked out! In your pockets as well!
Tazzy - I can't wait to garden also! It is my DH that has the green thumb, but I love getting out in the gardens with the whole family and working together!
I took my girls out yesterday cloths shopping for our trip in April. I hope that we will soon be able to wear all the shorts we bought! The high yesterday and today is in the 20's and we still have snow on the ground. I can't wait for Spring to get here and stay for more than one day at a time! I started walking again even though it is cold since I really need the exercise and I don't want to wait anymore! I am determined to walk at least 5 days a week unless there is rain or snow.
Take care everyone and in pockets as needed. HUGS to everyone also!
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This photo was on day two of my Helambu area trek with just a small part of the Langtang Range of the Himalaya in the background. Well I did it! First trek post BC and I am happy with how it went. I have worn a Polar heart monitor for several treks and actually had the data from the same trek two years ago. I would say I was about 10% slower on the uphills and stopped often but it looks like I did that two years ago too. I did not go as high this time but did spend two nights at 2500 meters or about 7600 feet and felt fine. I only carried an 8 liter pack primarily for water (platypus hydration system) and my guide/porter carried everything else. The last day we hiked up and down a few hundred meters then down 1200 meters which took 5.5 hours, then lunch and 3 hours more walking on a road to our destination for the night~~I was exhausted! Then yesterday we took a local Nepali bus ride back to Kathmandu. It was jam packed, including people on the roof but my guide got me a seat and we were back in Kathmandu by noon and a hot shower was first up. Now hanging out until my group arrives starting Thursday then off to start up to Annapurna Base Camp next Monday. In retrospect, after 18 months of endless treatments and surgeries, I am happy that I made the decision to go ahead and do this. I know that we are all so individual but we do need to do things that make us happy now, more than before~~at least that is how I see it. Before the trek I had an audience with a very old and venerable Rinpoche~~I have seen this man several times over the years. My question to him was whether my BC is gone and how does the future look. He speaks Tibetan but the translation came across as yes, I am cancer free and for me the future looks positive. So now I think it is up to me to work on the positives. I do acknowledge how lucky I am to be doing what I am right now. I slowed right down up in the mountains and sat for hours watching the scenery but also the people going about their daily routines. It is totally a Buddhist Sherpa area and I was invited to a funeral one day~~much ceremony and clearly caring about the woman who had died but also celebration of her life and everyone from the village and surrounding area was there, probably 150 people. It was quite moving to see how extended family from babies to old people continue the traditions of centuries.
BTW, I did take my sleeve on the trek but never wore it and had no problems at all with swelling~~I swear that some days I almost forget about BC and I never thought I would see this day. My hard foob tells me that it is fake but by and large I am feeling good.
Momof3, keep up that walking~~it works. Websister, I just saw that photo of you and me taken in the fall in Calgary when going through my photos~~please keep us posted on what you find out about what is causing the fatigue and nausea. I am hoping of course that this will just be a viral thing and nothing ominous. Aruba same with you~~good to find out what this red mark is but glad to hear there is so much good in your life now and in the coming months! msjackiefan, I don't use the "survivor" word as I just don't feel like that. I am of the mind that we do what we do as it comes along and for me it is not a battle but something that just is. Sure, it is over my shoulder sometimes but I think that BC has made me realize I need to slow down and smell the roses more. I tried to explain it is the journey not the destination to my guide this past week~~I am trying to see more and not just blindly go through my life in a rush which I think sometimes I did before BC. liefie, glad you are getting the tweak and then maybe a few months off appts? I know that having this almost two month break is already fun. Socks, hope you like it here on this thread~~it has been one of the best things for me, that and our Canadian thread~~now post BC those are the two threads I read and appreciate so much. Tazzy, my husband is in charge of early planting and I gave him the 2014 copy of West Coast seeds which tells him when he can plant. I will be home for most but want him to get the sweet peas and radishes etc. started soon.
I know I have missed many of you but know that I am reading all the posts when I have Internet. I did enjoy being away from it for a week! I read all your posts last night from when I was away and wish you all an early spring and good days ahead!
Time to end as my computer battery needs charging and the power is off for several more hours~~the hotel has a generator but not enough power for charging. There is power sharing here and it is off more than on. We are so lucky in Canada!
XXOO Marian
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Marian--You, my dear, are truly an inspiration! Amazing!! Looking forward to your next update.
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Marian, thanks for the update! Like Aruba said, you are a true inspiration and example to all of us. Best wishes for the rest of your trek!
Aruba, you have an exciting year ahead - enjoy to the fullest.
Msjackiefan, love the last few sentences of our post. Thanks for that!
Momof3, good for you on the exercise. I'm also trying to get back into my routine of walking now that the weather is getting better. My walking partner, our 12-year old Golden Retriever, is showing signs of weakness in his hindquarters now, so don't know how long he will still be able to accompany me. Don't want to think about that . . .
Ndgrrl, will be in your pocket on Friday for that first mammo.
Websister, hope you have some answers after Thursday's visit with the cardiologist.
Just had a call from my PS office. They have moved my surgery up to Monday, March 31. I say bring it on. The sooner I can be done with this, the better.
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Liefie - we just brought our 7 year old dog to the vet last week and he is getting some arthritis in his back hip also. They mentioned giving him cosequin once a day and we just got it in the mail today. It says it is beef flavor and Bear snarled it down really fast and was ready for more. We will see if this helps him out. We will be in your pockets on the 31st!!!!! I was tired after work today, but it was in the 40s and I made my self go for a walk. Once I got started it was really a nice walk.
Hugs to everyone!!!!!
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websister I'm here!! It's been a rough month but I think we are on the right track now.
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Marian: looking good and yes what an inspiration. And I couldn't agree more with what you said. I too sometimes even forget about BC - but it has made me stop and smell the roses. I do notice more. As for planting? I wished ! Was -4 here this morning so still a little early.Hugs to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Hi ladies.
After a 2 hour wait to see BS about my spot..I know anxiety gets the best of me. Since BC my Blood Pressure has been high normal which I always was normal before..today with the anxiety building I reached my lifetime high reading. The spot is simply a skin issue (OMG, I have never been so excited to have a pimple thingy in my whole life). He gave me a thorough clinical exam and told me cancer would be hard and not soft and raised like this (looks like a raised bug bite). He gave me a scrpt for doxycyclin and I'll see him in June for the mamm etc.
I am so mad at myself for how anxious I have been the last 10 days..barely eating, not sleeping....this is going to be my new normal. I don't make things up but if something is amiss..I just lose it even trying so hard to control. Thanks for being here for me. Thought of you all while waiting today. Hugs.
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Aruba - I am glad to hear that it is nothing too major and completely understand the anxiety!
So I am going to ask for another pocket party on April 3rd as I have to take my DD, the youngest, in for an EEG. Me Other DD had a great neurologist appt yesterday and does not need to go back for 6 months, but when I explained an episode my youngest DD had about a month ago he said we definitely need to get her an EEG. I am trying to stay positive that it was not a seizure, but it is going to be a long 2 weeks until we get her in for the appointment. At least I will be very busy with the school musical that both DD are in so the time should fly by!
It seems our family can never catch a break!
Hugs to everyone!!!!!
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Aruba - great news - celebrate!
Momof3 - I will be ready on April 3rd! Wonderful that both of your girls are in the musical - and that you will be staying busy.
Love our adventures in travel. Collectively we see interesting places, even if it's through eyes other than our own. We are definitely connected.
Lostinmo - hope you are doing ok and just to busy to write. Lots of gentle hugs, prayers and positive thoughts going your way.
Still away from home but welcome newbies. You've found the best spot on the web. Keep chatting.
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Ooph ladies, I had mine out BEFORE I was diagnosed with cancer. It was right after I found out I was BRCA1 positive- so it was a prophylactic surgery. Two weeks off and no pain. Then 6 weeks later I had my first diagnostic breast MRI.... the rest is history.
I'm scheduled for a bonescan 3-29 because of my ongoing back and hip pain. Like 1.5 yrs. Most likely it is the medication but my MO wants to be sure...So tamoxifen adds weight?? It sure seems like I've gone up, while eating more or less the same, than when I was on the AIs. I hate the bulge!!! Gotta start exercising again... hard when i feel so stiff and tight.
Nuff complaining, it's a gorgeous first day of spring!
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Its my first time posting, just feel that I need to connect to others going through the same trials that are coming my way. I just had my one year anniversary since diagnosis and have been feeling super sensitive. I am currently going to physical therapy for frozen shoulder on my surgical side but am having some pain on the other shoulder. I am beginning to wonder if some of the pain is from the SE from being on Femera. Can anyone give me any insight on this Thanks
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I am a 2011 and 2013 survivor! I missed both rads and chemo, the latter rather bothers me now but have to live with it. Sometimes I get scared. A lot of times I won't go to the doctor because I don't want them to give me that "phone call" anymore......second round they did an ultrasound on my liver, found "something", got an emergency CT scan and it was nothing....then off to surgery for second mastectomy. I am gun shy now. Sometimes I think well if it gets away on me, then just kill me.....no more of this running around and especially the suffering thru chemo over and over again. So, this makes me scared. I have a friend, stage 4 who has fought for years, and now is losing her battle...what she went through I don't think I could. Second time around, you don't trust your body. I appreciate deeply the medical help I was given for both cancers......but just seeing a hospital, well, I am like my cat when I need to take her to the vet...I want to hide under the bed.
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Hi everyone
LostinMo - sorry to hear that it was a rough month for you; thank you for checking in and sending lots of hugs your way
Momof3 - in for the pocket party April 3rd
Marian - wonderful picture and thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights with all of us, I agree that you are definitely an inspiration
Tazzy - no gardening for a good long while here either - going down to -14 overnight, lots of snow today and a very cold wind
Aruba - totally understand the anxiety while waiting for appointment days/times - glad that it turned out to be minor but good for you for getting it checked out
Liefie - wow, this move up of surgery seems to be getting to be the norm for you. - great attitude - pocket party for you on the 31st!
Welcome to Bluepearl and jmac
I had my cardiologist appointment this a.m., booked for echocardiogram on morning of April 1st and then same day afternoon stress test followed by a follow up appointment with the cardiologist; also some blood tests to do and he will call for the results of my holter monitor test.
That's my catchup, take care everyone
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Bone scan rescheduled for THIS sunday. Nervous but whatever. Am I supposed to call gyn about check-ins since I am on Tamoxifen now? (6 mos)
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lisa2012 you should absolutely go for checkups at your Gyno. One of tamoxifens worst SE is endometrial cancer. My Gyno did a US on me last week to make sure all was good (it was). I was never big on those appts but now it's a must.
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