STFU (Shut the F*** UP)
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Blessings u can hire u'r self out as an interpretor of saying it like it is. People might just hire u.
Ariom I gree with u, but with a pathology report I'm sure that will make everything clearer.
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Yes. I wanted to know the er and pr makeup.
Thanks ladies.0 -
Oh Kassy I can't help u at all--I don't even know what that is, I just know I'm all positive, which I always tought sounded good cuz why else would u use the word positive and when my Dr. started explaining ro me--I stopped her and said it sounds good so that's how I'll take it. That was it. So even tho I read some of the boards I really don't understand much of anything that is said cuz I never asked or read anything. I know that stupid to most people ut it works for me--very well actually.
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Camillegal.......I, really do not think that is stupid.....I was two years this December and just asked my Doctor for my Path Report....he said it was quite normal for people to do that and just to get things out of the way....GLAD, I did because I would of just been dwelling on everything....Liz
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I've come to realize that there are at least 3 kinds of reactions - those who feel better learning a little as they go along, those who have to know everything up front (me), and those who don't need to know what there is to know.
It's all within the realm of normal and each person has to work it out.
When I first came on BCO I was on a surgery thread and there was way more information than I was ready for. So I just looked at my own stuff and did fine.0 -
Yes....It is all a journey and this journey belongs to us....Liz
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As I said I always ask for reports, that way when I get to the onc. then I know the right questions to ask, or ask questions about the scan....
So went to work today...they people from the store manager to the associates are so supportive and I tend to not answer questions about how I am, usually fine is the answer, they are so good to me, I don't work all that much so have been out alot this year. I do that because I feel back and really don't want to see the puppy dog eyes, or afraid they will say something stupid and then I will go off....someone said to me today, how do you feel, said, I'm fine, she said, so you are all good now, said no it has metasized, so it is in the bones, lungs, breast, blah blah...well got the look and she said so sorry....feel bad for some people they think they are being nice, asking, then when they get the answer don't know what to say.....
Sandy
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Okay ladies, I put the STFU big girl panties on today. I went to the barn and watched my horse get ridden by a really great rider who will be showing him for me until I get back in the saddle. I took my dog for a short walk and then I went home and ate a salad. I'm trying to remove as much processed food from my diet as I can. Don't get me wrong, I love all of the drugs, but I'm going to throw healthy food at this beatch too.
Now I am dissecting the Path reports and hitting all of the TNBC links and research articles. I'm done crying for today.
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shadytrake - I too am triple negative. I am 1- 1/2 years out from a bilateral mastectomy.
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Blessings: Not only would I hire you, I'd like to go to work for you once you get up & rolling. I'm sure the demand will be overwhelming.
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A coworker said to me, well at least you have small boobs. Whaaaaaat? Does that mean it will be easier surgery or they wont be missed as much. not sure what her angle was. This is where STFU would have come in handy. I just walked away.
A nurse in my breast surgeons office told me about a new t-shirt that states
"Of course these are fake, the real ones tried to kill me"
That made me laugh!
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http://breastcancer.about.com/b/2013/02/04/say-this-not-that-when-talking-breast-cancer.htm
Say This, Not That, When Talking Breast Cancer
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Hi ladies. I have good news, staples and drains are out!! I feel lighter. My dh and I went out to lunch after and I was flat. It was a very nice feeling not having to move the table because the huge boobs were resting on it. Ha! I am in good spirits. I did get the hormone receptor status strongly estrogen positive and moderately progesterone positive. Just to close the loop with doctors, I am seeing an oncologist next week so he can tell me I am all good! I know the doctor and he is a very honest, straight shooter. I am not expecting any meds but want to be sure the journey is over, at least for now.
I am a health educator who performs overall wellness programs and screenings for our community. I am one of the people that researches diseases and needed to know all abut my situation. I can rest when I understand something and am up all night if there is an aspect of my health that is new. I can rest now and know that dr v will take good care of me.
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Kassy that is marvelous news, And celebrating is the thing to do, but keep us posted what the Onc says so we can hear more good news.
Gina thst such a stupid thing to say to anyone, I still can't believe how some people think.
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Kassy, I am so glad to hear your news.
Take care!
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Yay Kassy....
Sandy
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Thanks Islandgirl. There is hope.
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Lastar, yes this journey was like the speed of light. I'm still not sure if it was a blessing that it went fast since I didn't have too much time to dwell and wait for surgery. I was comfortable with the BMX and knew it's what was right for my situation.
You ladies are all so strong and wonderfully supportive. I have great friends, but no one understands how this affects us like someone that's been there.
Shady, I'm sure watching someone else with your beloved horse was hard. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for a continued speedy recovery.
Kassy, what great news for you! Celebrate that victory, girl!
My new STFU summary:
I just went back to work last week after being off for 6 weeks. A lot of people at work were aware that I had BC and surgery. Several people commented to me "Oh...I heard you had breast cancer, but you look fine". I'm guessing because I was fortunate enough to not need chemo or rads, I still look like myself (minus the tata's of course). Still, they are saying it with a tone like they are doubting why I was off. Like I need that. STFU!
Love to all!
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Shane I'm glad u'r back to work and done but no one, I repeat no one understands any of this unless u lived it--and honestly some people over understand it. It's a strange head thing for this.
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Shane, so glad you are back to work. People keep telling me I'm a fighter. So does that mean my mom wasn't? I know they mean well but STFU. 😳
I got to speak with my Aunt who is stage IV but currently NED. She was very supportive and said to call anytime. We had lost touch after my mom passed away. She reassured me that if my Dr didn't think the mastectomy was needed then I shouldn't let my stepmother bully me into it. She said it is a very personal decision and I should feel comfortable with whatever I decide. Key words "I decide." Finally a woman family member who gets it and is just there to support me.0 -
Cp18 thanks fr the posting of better things to say. Maybe we should copy and place in the surgeons office for our families to give to people!
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hady I'm sorry about u'r aunt----but now u must feel better being connected again and go for it--she sounds smart and loves u. Please stay connected.
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ShaneOak, I would be tempted to say "Yes, it affects the boobs, not the face." Not saying I would ever have the nerve to say it.
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Hi everybody....just popping in....too tired to post ....I'm still teaching at 65 and although I love it, I'm exhausted by the time I get home.
Love you all and am reading at the moment only.
Granny .....So glad Brian is eating and doing his PT...you take care of yourself.0 -
Congratulatons ShaneOak, six weeks, and you're back at work.
I understand when you say no one understands like someone that has been there. Someone said to me, "Isn't it amazing what they can do these days, seven weeks, and it feels like it never happened!" Although I knew what she meant, I have been very lucky with my recovery, I still wanted to say "Ya think so, I am so glad it was so easy for you!" STFU!
Shadytrake, how wonderful that you have found a relative who will support you, and one that really understands this is all the better. I wish you all the very best with "YOUR" decision.
Scottee, you take care and have a good rest. I admire you for still doing what you love to do a 65!
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Ha! I love that response Wren! You know if they catch me in the right kind of mood I just might say it.
Hugs and love...
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I ran an errand today and one yesterday and was surprised at how tired I felt. Bmx is a major surgery but I feel good. I stopped by work, I work at a hospital, to drop off the rehab order. I was told by by bs that it was ok to go back on Monday, today is two weeks. I was all for it but have been rethinking. I don't have the financial means to stay home and am out of paid time at work. Last year I used all my vacation and some sick time to be with my mom and best friend while they had a mastectomy and lumpectomy, respectively. My bf found out when she realized why i did not go to hawaii with my dh and his family. she was very upset with me. My friend said she is sending me two weeks pay to stay home. She said pay your bills and heal. She and her husband have great jobs but I feel guilty accepting their money. She said she wishes she could spend time with me like I did for her and this is a small thing she can do for me. I cried. I feel so blessed. No stfu, just an exact opposite story to tell.
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Kassy that's wonderful, and she wouldn't have offered if they couldn't do it and she wants to do it for u cuz she loves u. So accept it with the love she is also sending u and heal. That's what she wants and it will make her happy. Friends are so wonderful it always makes up for the STFU in our lives.
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Kassy, I agree with Camille. I can't imagine going back that soon - and I only had one side done. Blessings come through other people quite often.
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Kassy, you have a wonderful friend. You need to remember that a part being a true friend is being able to accept friendship and the things friends want to do for us or even say to us when they see a need they can fill. I think the giving is much easier than the accepting. You know you would do the same if your situations were reversed.
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