STFU (Shut the F*** UP)
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Ducky I agree, I am so thankful that I found this place and was accepted with open arms....and your son knows you and your husband probably wants more time up there without you......
Charles cool you are opening up a new practice, good luck with that, glad they didn't scare you off, some of them can be scarey, not me I am perfect, lolllll Charles, thanks for sharing that, it is so helpful to others, to know that men get the same symptoms that women do....yep come whenever you want....yep and F me shoes works also...
now see I can certainly see ducky and granny on the back of a harley!!!
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Charles....will you take care of our Granny if she gets into too much trouble....it's scary
to think we let her loose on the streets of NY....lol
Ducky....my best friend in Scotland is a grandmother of two severely autistic boys....she
herself lost her daughter at the age of sixteen to CF....her husband walked out on her
before their daughter passed away....the poor man "couldn't take the stress".....oh don't get me started....I will just say Hi to everybody else and STFU...❤0 -
Phew, so glad you stopped by to visit, Charles. Please tell your wife, Diana all about us.
My husband sees me laughing in stitches all the time and he chuckles - he likes to see me having fun after the rough coupla months I just went through. This website is my "guilty pleasure." I come here all the time when I should be studying.
Not sure if mentioned in this thread that I got laid off last summer after 25 years of being a nurse manager, used my severance pay to go back to grad school for two semesters to freshen up my Nurse Practitioner skills so I can work in Hospice, had a fantastic semester last fall, straight A's, then got diagnosed after Chrstmas and after my boy flew back to college. After I told my Professors my diagnosis, they gave my pediatric clinical placement away to another student so I'm waiting until my new one starts in April. Then I'll have 2 months to do 6 weeks of student clinical, and breast reconstruction surgery before my severance runs out in June. By then my son will be back for the summer from college, so he can help look after my disabled husband while I look for a job in this market. I have to work so retirement is not an option at this point.
Granny, Chevy, Cami, Ducky, Shane, Esther and everyone else, I know I have no right to complain here but I must admit I have had the blues the last few weeks. Surgery is over, no more treatment except dealing with this reconstruction madness.
I guess I'm used to a demanding job, raising our son, keeping the house running, and now out of the blue I'm dealing with layoff and "not really breast cancer" according to the idiot oncologist I saw only once....at my old workplace....in the same building I have to go back to for my follow-up appointments....where I used to go (onc) sometimes to help out with phone advice when they were short staffed. He said it was like having rust in my pipes. Asshole: I just had my breasts removed because what I read about high grade DCIS scared the shit out of me, and you're telling me its's only rust in my pipes? Well then maybe you should have been a plumber.
So here I am lying on the couch in paradise, trying not to feel pissed off at the company I worked so hard for all those years, trying not to obsess about finding a new job in time, sleeping with boobs that feel like plastic grapefruits, getting behind in school because I don't give a F like I used to, and reading about your exploits and laughing my -ss off.
These blues suck but I have my nerve to whine after what all you folks have been through. Thank you for cheering me up with your exploits and now I'll STFU for being a weanie.
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There's a fire on "Bonfire of the Goddesses" with room for that onc.
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Shell.....here we call that a "pity party"....and you are entitled to that.....don't make small of what has happened to you.....God Bless you for dealing with what you have going on in your life....we all get those days.....
Right now I am so upset over so many small things, but when it's family they are big. Just so fed up with how I spent my life keeping my 6 children close in heart to each other....now I see them drifting away over petty bullshit, and it is breaking my heart......I am so tired of shedding tears. It's just everything......
Sometimes I think would this have been this way had their father still been alive, and not died so young.....God it is so lonely at times, yet there are times I welcome it......
Oh, enough about me.....Shell this is about you, and how we here care about you, so I will STFU about my "bullshit"...........and use one of my Mother's phrases........I CRIED BECAUSE I HAD NO SHOES....TILL I SAW SOMEONE WHO HAD NO FEET......
May our tears be wiped dry by love......hugs, and your gonna be OK....0 -
Ducky I'm sure you are a great mama. We can't control our kids after we launch them, they have to go through their stuff just like we do, and the best we can do is just love them. It's hard not to worry when you are a parent, but be at peace knowing that you gave them your best when they lost their dad too young, and they are very lucky to have you for their mom.
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so here i am tryin to have a good day and first i see ducky.you made me smile with the gg.then in your next thread i feel like you are talkin to me about the family bullshit.i too felt that if that bastard husband was around my family would not fight like they do.and yes they do.and that suks.
BTW-for you chevy...I did ride the motorcycles.And my CFM shoes do not look like the ones you posted.try again.lol.And when i went for the pre op i told them about all my teeth.they know and said nothing.good.
Charles.....I do need a lawyer...seriously im glad you come here to visit the crazy house.Good luck with your practice..and your located where?now just in case i get arrested i need to know if you will represent me.I will not wear my CFM shoes tho.I did work in an office where i had to dress conservitively...Worked for that stupid AIG.
Thanks Scottiee for the recomendation.Charles dont run away now.please.im jokin.
Shellshine-i laugh when u tell me you laugh.You need us like we need you....im sorry you are havin a ruff time...it will get betta.know it.nothin stays the same.
love each and ever one of you...I went out today for a walk and stayed out till now.just smoked 1 1/2 cig.today.so far.im tryin to get back to the 1 a day...
ill be back
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Okay! For us who are just soooooo short! I KNOW you are only 4 feet tall little K.... I'm just 5 feet....
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Thanks Chevy. I'm only 5'2" and was given a hard time about it in high school, many, many years ago. Wish I had known that phrase back then!
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im 5 ft too bitch...you know that and i never had a problem with being short.
my mom used to say great things come in small pkgs.she was 4-11.like like like.ha.
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5ft, here, although my kids measured me and said I'm 4ft11inches.......so f/n hang me for that inch.......oh and I weigh 105lbs........lol
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Shell you are so not a weenie and that is one of the reasons I am here, is to listen to others.....it will happen when it is supposed to, that is what I believe, and the BC brought you here. Ducky that is a big and always have been a fear of mine that my kids would not talk to each other and it did happen for 6 years.....
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My kids are always fighting and they pull me into it all.
Since i had a fight with my bitch DIL my son her husband who is sooo whipped that he blocked me on facebook.
Guess he is afraid ill curse her out once again.
so they can both STFU.
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Amazing thing....when they need each other, they are always there......when things are fine, they just seem to go about their own lives, with no thought for each other...and yes trying to "keep the peace".....I always get my ass in trouble. At least once a week I say "that's it, I'm done, I don't give a shit anymore"........but do I follow through........that would be a "no".
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You are all amazing---Shaneoak, Been reading on and off for days. Know Granny's having surgery soon.
Good Luck Granny, went through the same thing as you in 2001. The best choice I made was the elective colon resection. Retrospectively, the only thing I would have done differently is I would have done it sooner. I delayed by several weeks b/c of a family reunion. Sheesh.
Someonelse talked of constipation problems--sorry already forget who. I wrote the constipation thread. I just revised the descriptions on hemmrhoid care and the whole thing on diverticulosis. There are 7 pages of suggestions by members re:pooping. At one point, I roughly analyzed the responses and PRUNES and APRICOTS prepared in many ways were the most highly cited by members. Each have many descriptions of preparation /recipes. Senna in it's many preparations was a close third.
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/6/topic/781867?page=1#post_2830995
So, I will STFU. Hope the thread helps for a better go!. Sheila
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Hi Sas this is a great thread--everyone is all screwed up--sorry Granny but we all have the right to be. LOL
Shell=Please don't eery feel like u can't be sad or down and compare what anyone has gone thru--we've all gone thru this shit disease (tho at different times) but we're still going from alot of SE and the thought it might invade us again, even tho most of us are a miserable lot--it still finds us. U think it would fear us, but it doesn't so take u'r time and just go with it--it mostly passes or u can get help from u'r Drs. Amd u have accomplished so much Geeze u should be proud of u'rself.
I think all of our kids give us a time or 2 u want to ring necks, but I said years ago I don't want credit or blame for how my kids turn out--I did the best I could. That's it.
My SIL and GS love to tell me about the snow--we're supposed to get a lot tmorrow night into the next day-What the Fdo I care-I don't have to go anywhere---they do tho. hahaha
Hope everyone has a restful night and Granny u did good today. So be proud.
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With all that I have to do and deal with, how is it that my effing DH acts like he's the one that is so put out with life? Other than asking me how I'm feeling once in awhile, he doesn't ask much about this whole BC business, which is starting to really piss me off. I've started talking about plenty about my concerns, thoughts and fears but it goes no where from there. And I'm not even a big talker, not like someone that wants to talk about everything all the time. I'm not THAT girl. It's like I'm on this journey on my own. Getting really tired of this. Alright, my behind is now going to STFU.
OH, welcome sas.0 -
Shane a lot of men are scared more than we are, and seriously can't talk about it--Women for some reason can stay up all night talking about dream, fears, expectations, kids, love, sadness --get the picture?? A lot of men (not all( just can'r handle this or any disease for someone they love--It's just to frightening for them. I of course don't know 'r DH but that seems to be the case a lot of times--Don't take it personally, it's just how some men are.
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Shane, My DH has trouble talking about things that touch his emotions. He closes up and just does not want to talk about it. In our 47 years there have been several times I have been seriously ill but not to the point of feeling my own mortality. This is the second time in the last 13 years that we have. In Dec 1999 while I was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis the Dr. had to tell him there was a strong possibility I wouldn't make it. He has never been able to talk to me about it (When the Dr talked to me about how close I had come I asked if DH knew.) When I told him about the BC diagnosis all he said was "So what is the program?" The only emotion he has shown was when the MO told us he would like an oncotype score but our insurance probably would not pay for it. He practally jumped up and yelled "I don't care what it costs us, I'll pay what ever I have to to take care of her!" He still won't talk about it almost 3 years later, but he has been beside me every step of the way, insisting on taking me to every appointment, even sitting with me through pre-op and recovery. I wish we could talk about it but that will never happen.
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By the way, Medicare covered the oncotype.
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Shane,
I can understand your frustration, even though my experience has been quite different. Yeah, we guys are dicks at times, but I don't believe that it's due to a lack of compassion. I think the general reluctance to talk about BC is because it's so damn frightening and most men don't really know how to deal with things like that without appearing "weak."
I think one big advantage most male BC patients have is that most of our significant others are women. My wife was fantastic throughout this whole thing. She's the one that kicked my nervous ass to go to the doctor. She helped my after my surgeries - even draining and measuring the fluid in the three Jackson-Pratt drains I had. I felt terrible for her in that we "celebrated" our 25th anniversary after my lumpectomy and a couple of days before the double mastectomy. (Talk about "in sickness" and "for worse.")
After all of that she would always accompany me to chemo (which in our case was 90 miles away in Colorado) each week and put up with my side-effects, which often culminated in my curling up in front of the fireplace and sleeping in the middle of the main room of our house. What's more, given that I was laid-off from my 17-year magazine job on the same day as my diagnosis, my wife went out and took a job way below her skill level (she has a Masters in economics), just to make sure we had insurance.I would like to think that I would be as sensitive and supportive were the positions reversed, but I am not sure I could have made that promise had I not gone through this myself.
The best advice I got from anyone regarding this experience was from a good friend who advised me to avoid whining about my own situation and to worry about the impact it was having on my wife and kids (then an 11-year-old girl and a 17-year-old boy). It was a good reminder. My wife, on the other hand, never complained about what this cancer was doing to her, even though I know that it was tough on her. She was awesome. (I hate the over-use of that word, by the way, but "awesome" is the only way to describe it.)
As weird as it sounds, the whole experience was rather positive. My outlook on life is much better than before BC. The little stuff doesn't rattle me as much as it did before. While intellectually I knew that I was going to die some day, that fact never really registered emotionally with me until I got cancer. I do my best to make every day count for something, since I can't really predict how many I have left.
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Now, after all of that mushy, positive stuff, I do have my fair share of "STFU moments." It's just that none of them came from my family.
I've said it before, but I think this is where male BC patients get it even better than do women.
My favorite was from someone, upon learning of my diagnosis, asked if my kids were my biological off-spring."I mean you have breast cancer ... doesn't that mean you are some kind of genetic mutation, like a hermaphrodite or something? You can't father children, can you?"
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Oh! He's back again, and he even said a naughty word!He said "dick" as in SDS...(Saturday dick-head syndrome) (which sometimes encompasses 6 days out of the week) Love ya Charles!Your wife is a Saint... I love her already. She must know how you feel, because she is a Mom.... and yes, it hurts her when you are hurting.I know.... Men are supposed to be the strong ones, but when something happens to us, they just don't know how to cope... Some women are like this! Our Mothers, Sisters, even Daughter's don't know what to say when someone they love has been diagnosed with cancer. They don't mean to say stupid things, usually, but their mind just can't get wrapped around the whole idea. When I was diagnosed, I was mostly worried about how my Husband would take it! I think it's because I am a Mom, and we worry about everyone else first.I wish I could get my Husband to go in at least for a check-up. He will just not! Not until he can barely more. And I'm worried about his Prostate, his not sleeping at night, the contractures he has in his hands and because he has lost so much weight. He went two weeks, 12 years ago, slowing down until he could hardly go up steps. I took him in, the Doc diagnosed him with "heart-block"...and we ran to the hospital... (actually I drove) and the next day he got a Pacemaker! His heart was just giving up. But I can't tell him anything.... a lot of Husbands are like this.Where did you go for chemo? Was it the RMCC out there in Thornton? I went there too, for awhile... but not for chemo... The Oncologist was there that prescribed the Tamoxifen, and did all the blood-work, etc.And yes, she IS "Awesome!"And glad you cleared that up, about possibly being a hermaphrodite or something. So nice to see a guy on here with feelings!Can we all take you home for a week?Chabba, my DH is the same.. But yours came through when you really needed him... Just love what you have... I think sometimes we want them to act like women...to show more emotions.And Camille.... exactly...what you said! Shane, don't get mad.... get even! No, just kidding! Some men just can't talk... they hate to show their emotions. It's not alright, but it's what we've got. You can always come here with us...Hi Camille....I went outdoors early this morning and felt little snows on my arms! We're supposed to get more later also. Lacee is out there with her paws crossed, just waiting!Hi Sassy! I'm glad to see you here.... Are YOU doing alright now? My hands just are in this cycle of good sometimes, and bad sometimes, but it's Eczema, so that's just how it is... I just deal with it. Glad you came in to talk about that constipation problem...Morning Ducky and Little K.... You know, if we had it all to do over again, we probably would have done it all the same way. Our kids just drive us nuts sometimes... their habits, their choices, but it's not anything we did....Little Kantalope, he probably blocked you, because you set the screen on fire! I know you have "feelings" about his little wife, but honey, their little girl will maybe need you some day... I just wish I could help you with this....And hi Blondie... Our 2 Daughters are very close... but during their school years.... I thought I would go nuts! Both are different, but alike in so many ways. Now they are closer than they ever were... It's fun being around them, and listening to their chatter...Okay... love to see you all.... and I love this thread! Talk to y'all later. xoxoxoxo0
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Chevyboy, I got all of my treatment at Medical Clinic at Centerra in Loveland. My oncologist is Dr. Ann Stroh. She rocks.
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Chevy when he said "dick" I knew he was one of us...and smiled....
Charles, I agree your wife is a keeper....you are very lucky....
My daughters are not close because oldest daughter picked in youngest daughters opinion him over the family and disappeared for 6 years and she missed her so much, now she is back oldest is upset cause youngest doesn't call her back, she doesn't trust that it won't happen again.....oldest broke up with bf who was the reason why it happened, controlling, verbally abusive, etc....and she came back, my grandson is 8 and we didn't see him for 6 years, he doesn't know who we are, it is sad....I wish they were close...there is hope....
Happy Monday!!
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Oh Charles thank u for opening up--it's nice to have a man's viewpoint on so much going on. But at the end of the day with BC we're all about the same. U'r wife is a miracle of love for u--u must e very special person. And a very lucky person to have made such a wonderful choice and u hae 2 kids too--It's a rough road and traveling so far-so much stress but now u'r doing better and Diana had a lot to do with that I'm sure.
BTW who in the hell could say such an ignornt thing to u STFU is the only response u could possible give LOL And I wish u all the best is seting up a new practice--it's so very difficult but it seems like u'r up for it. And u have a wonderful family to bac u up.
Well we've got a MAN we can share here with some different opinions too I love that.
So weatherwise we're supposed to get a chit load of snow--but I don't trust any of these reports til I see them. Right now it's sunny and cold so we'll see what happens later--As long as I have my staples for a couple of days I'm fine
Well I get my MRI Friday--how I hate those tubes---and if I hear the word cancer I will say to SRFU--cuz that is not in my vocabulary with my body now. Oh that oes for malignant too. LOL I personally think my degenerated discs and lower vertabrea are from yrs of chemo--but no one will say that. It's like a code of silence they must have taken an oath about this crap.It is what it is but I do get stonger pain pills now thst they found that so Say yes to drugs- I don't tell my GS that just adults. Oh we got a new coffee maker--so much better--see the little things. hahaha
Well I hope everyone has a good day and wether wise it's crazy March so whateer--crazy March is what I really understand. And my typing will not get etter so don't expect that--I have reached my Peter's Principle--anyone remember that? No one usually knows what I mean when I still say that.
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Morning ladies...and our Charles .......fooling with my IPad and decided to check in.....have to go to my DD's everyday this week to let her little Sophie out to do her business. She is a tiny Chihuahua............will take a container of homemade vegetable soup to DD..(this is the one who is separated, but good friends with the X), but that is another story
Then will drop another container off at my other DD house,( the one who I will be flying with), and then back home till its time to go pick up the kids.......
Beautiful sunny day, but the wind is blowing, so I imagine it is chilly out.....well since its 10am, and I should take my meds at 8, now might be a good time to do it.......hugs0 -
Oh ducky on the way of traveling and dropping off food--u can stop here for a drop off. It would be welcomed.
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Cam......can you wait till April.....I'll be there then...lol
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