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Time for hospice and Im really scared

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Comments

  • steelrose
    steelrose Member Posts: 318
    edited November 2013


    ((((Teri)))) I know that saying goodbye to your beloved animals is probably one of the most difficult parts of this whole deal we're dealt. But oh my, Forrest is going to live a cushy life in Napa, I just know it! He is one lucky horse to have you looking out for him!


    As for that hospital bed... Ugh. I love the idea of dressing it up with new bed linens, if you can. And camouflaging the ugly parts! I hope that you get a good night's sleep, and that tomorrow is brighter. Maybe paint a picture of Forrest:)


    Sending love,


    Rose.

  • dmacw
    dmacw Member Posts: 64
    edited November 2013


    Teri I'm so sorry.

  • aaoaao
    aaoaao Member Posts: 245
    edited November 2013


    I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm sure the woman who told you that you could still change your mind was trying to be helpful but that was probably the worst thing she could say. It was the hardest but best decision you made for Forrest's benefit. That statement only encouraged the second thoughts you were already having. It would have been better if she just reassured you what a good Mommy you are for making sure Forrest is taking care of well and that he will be treated with love. Your love for him is so apparent and the decision you made reflects that love.


    As for the hospital bed, yes they are truly ugly. I agree with trying to dress it up. Maybe try to hang a canopy over the bed from the ceiling that would cover up the awful headboard and foot board. Would a bed skirt work too? Just anything to hide the mechanical look of that bed. Definitely fill the room with your artwork.


    I hope the depression lightens up soon. However, you still need to let yourself feel what you feel. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

  • jocanuck1951
    jocanuck1951 Member Posts: 214
    edited November 2013


    we are all with you every nite and day Teri, you are so loved by all your friends and beloved pets. Close your eyes Teri, one of us is always thinking of you....xoxox Jo

  • Brendatrue
    Brendatrue Member Posts: 487
    edited November 2013


    Teri, What an exhausting day! And what amazing love and tenderness and humor and good will you have shared with your companion animals and they have shared with you. You all are lucky to have shared both the routine and the special times together, and they are so very lucky that you were willing to find new homes for them at a time that letting them go has been so damn hard. I hope knowing how hard you worked to find them loving homes will bring you comfort when your heart aches for them.


    As for depression...you have certainly experienced a number of losses and heart tugging grief. And I would imagine that the hospital bed experience is not difficult only because it is ugly but also because it represents a letting go of something else that has been treasured. I hesitated in saying that, but I imagine you already feel it. Please know that many of us realize, to the extent that we are able without actually experiencing it ourselves, that this is a time of cherishing, letting go, cherishing, letting go, finding that still space that tells you that you are doing right by you--that you are on the right path for you, understanding what needs to be done or said, then letting go and cherishing some more.


    I think Jo's words were especially kind and meaningful, and I do hope it brings comfort to you to know that you are held in the hearts and thoughts of so many.

  • sunny210
    sunny210 Member Posts: 31
    edited November 2013


    Teri, I am so sad for everything you've had to go through recently. You are so strong to undertake these very hard tasks. I think of you so often and hope you are comfortable and peaceful. I wish I could change things for you.


    Sandy

  • justjudie
    justjudie Member Posts: 196
    edited November 2013


    thinking of you, Teri. It's a tough time without a doubt. We are all here with you

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited November 2013


    Afternoon Teri!!! Oh my, what a day you have had! Exhausting and very emotional and yes, you are right, it is the end of one chapter in your life and the beginning of another. The one thing you can be assured of is that you have done everything in your power to make sure that all your fur babies have gone to places where they will receive the love and attention that they deserve.........but it doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye.


    Mmm, now about that hospital bed..........I can imagine it decked out with linens and lace and a canopied mosquito net that has been decorated with roses and vines draped across the head of it so that it is unseen..........the top will be soooo beautiful that you won't want to look at the under side.


    Rest and then let your beautiful imagination fly!


    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • teacher911
    teacher911 Member Posts: 152
    edited November 2013


    Hi Teri,


    Sounds like a very difficult time for you. Even when you know you are doing the right thing, it doesn't always make it easier.


    I hope you can make the bed more comfortable and appealing for you, soft sheets, a memory foam topper, anything that would sound good to you.


    Thinking of you all the time and hoping the depression lifts and you find some comfort.


    Michele

  • Romansma
    Romansma Member Posts: 650
    edited November 2013


    thinking about you, Teri, and hoping there is something that makes you smile today. Great ideas here for the hospital bed!

  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 119
    edited November 2013


    Teri,


    I have had some issues of my own that have kept me away for the last month but those few times that I did log on I was always thinking of you and checking this thread. I'm sending you hugs and love. I'm thinking that you need a refill of love since you've sent so much love with each of your farm animals. I wish you hadn't had to experience the re-homing but I'm glad you did on your terms.


    Bon found a great link to spiff up the hospital bed. It would be great if you knew someone who could take on that project and make it look like a real piece of funiture.


    Hugs,


    Christy

  • Capriness
    Capriness Member Posts: 111
    edited November 2013


    I'm feeling better this morning about Forrest. One of the people emailed me and said he made it to Eureka (from the Portland area) at midnight last night and is doing great. He will stay in Eureka 2 days then he goes on down to Santa Rosa. He's traveling with a mare who started flirting with him the minute they put him in the trailer. So I have a feeling he's not too unhappy. Makes it easier on me, too.


    Thank you ladies for all your support during this time. I send you all the love I have left and that's not much right now. A lot of it went with my horsie. But I'll build it back up soon.


    Teri


    PS: I whispered in Forrest's ear to keep a look out for Deuce during his travels. Deuce really trusted Forrest so maybe he'll have some luck finding him.

  • tina2
    tina2 Member Posts: 758
    edited November 2013


    Teri,


    Music box?


    I have always had a soft spot for music boxes. I even have a CD of Christmas carols played on antique ones. Details when you're so inclined, please!


    Tina

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited November 2013


    Teri, thank you for your love, and I am sending you lots more to help rebuild your supply. When you send it out, we are multiplying it and sending it back to you, like little seeds growing into great big love flowers and producing more seeds .... We can never grow too much of this precious commodity!


    So glad to hear Forrest has already made a new friend. How many more little critters do you have to take care of, or was Forrest the last one that needed a new home?

  • Moiralf
    Moiralf Member Posts: 119
    edited November 2013


    Thinking of you today Teri and glad you got the update but it is still a sad time for you. Be gentle on yourself and know that so many of us are thinking of you and sending warm hugs and love to refill your soul.


    Love the ideas coming for changing your grim old hospital bed into a warm, welcoming bed to rest. If you have no energy is there a friend who could help? One of those times when people say what can I do to help and you have no idea but here is a great way to help.


    Moira

  • iwillwinthisbattle
    iwillwinthisbattle Member Posts: 42
    edited November 2013


    Teri--I so understand! Our animals are such an important part of our lives and it is so incredibly difficult to let them go.


    Is there some way you could make that stupid, ugly hospital bed more palatable? Soft, comfy linens? Fabulous pillows? A special stuffed animal?


    Sending you positive vibes.

  • Joysley
    Joysley Member Posts: 25
    edited November 2013


    Teri, sending out prayers and love tonight too. I'm such an animal lover myself. I can't imagine having to give up my babies. You are unselfish and I admire your love and courage so much.


    Fix that hospital bed up and post pics.

  • JeninMichigan
    JeninMichigan Member Posts: 51
    edited November 2013


    Teri


    My heart aches for you as you had to let go of Forrest. It is hard to explain the bond you make with your horse and other animals. It is the most unselfish thing you can do. The selfish thing would be to hang on to him to the very last moment and then not be sure what kind of home he would have once you are gone. I know you know you did the right thing and sometimes the right thing is terribly heartbreaking. My heart is heavy for you as I see you having to let go of the things you hold dear with your lovely animals and now the hopsital bed. I know you will readjust yet once again and keep finding the joy and beauty in life with things that make you happy. I always have a very special fondess and appreciate for animal lovers and you are a wonderful woman for the life and love you have given to the animals in your life.


    Jennifer

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited November 2013


    Hi Teri! I'm late tonight but today was shopping day and I like to kick back for awhile when I get home and then go and put it all away.......lol. Did I tell you I hate shopping day?


    So good to hear that Forrest has journeyed well and has a nice little mare to flirt with.........I will admit, if I were a mare I'd want to flirt with him as well as he is such a good looking horse. I know it's hard to say goodbye to your loved ones but don't beat yourself up as you have done the most loving thing that anyone could, given them a chance of a good life and also given yourself a chance to see that happen.


    Sending more love for you to store.


    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 879
    edited November 2013


    I am sure that gives you a great deal of comfort knowing that Forrest has a friendly travelling partner. Linda was right on the money when she said that we will help you build up your supply of love by sending it back to you twofold! Wishing you peace and comfort today and everyday.


    Bon - your post made me giggle, "EUREKA there's Deuce"

  • AmyJM
    AmyJM Member Posts: 134
    edited November 2013


    Teri,


    Stopping in to let you know I'm thinking of you. I'm sorry you had to say good-bye to Forrest. You will miss him so, but like the others said - you know he is going to a very good new home. Hopefully, you can find some comfort in your special memories of all your furry farm friends (sorry - F is the letter of the week at the preschool this week and I get carried away sometimes!) Hmm - Forrest and the Flurry of Furry Farm Friends - sounds like a children's book! : )


    I hope you are feeling some better today and have maybe had a chance to do some artwork or something else that feeds your soul.


    Wishing you restful, peaceful days and maybe a make-over for your new bed!


    Sending love and light and prayers and hugs,


    Amy

  • AmyJM
    AmyJM Member Posts: 134
    edited November 2013


    Teri - I hadn't seen this last page before I sent my post (I thought I was on the last page!). Anyway, I just wanted to add that I'm glad that Forrest has found a buddy and that it's helped you to feel some better.


    Bon - I enjoyed your "Eureka!" post too! Too funny. : )


    Hugs to all,


    Amy

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited November 2013


    Afternoon Teri! Sure hope you are feeling a bit better today but I know it will take a while before you stop (if ever) missing all your fur babies. (((((((hugs)))))))


    Hoping you had a restful night and a peaceful day.


    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • Jill49
    Jill49 Member Posts: 25
    edited November 2013


    Such a sad time. It is never easy to let go of those we love - people or animals. I'm thinking of you and hoping you find some peace and comfort. Something to smile about and something to make the new bed more attractive.

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 11,438
    edited November 2013


    Hi Teri! Hoping you are feeling better and are well enough and able to immerse yourself in your art.......that is truly food for your soul.


    Love n hugs. Chrissy

  • justjudie
    justjudie Member Posts: 196
    edited November 2013


    Hi Teri, Just wanted to say hello and let you know I am thinking of you. Hope all is well with you. Winking

  • MaraUK
    MaraUK Member Posts: 27
    edited November 2013


    Hi Terri


    I am so glad Forrest has found himself a flirty female and is travelling safely to his new home. It is great to here your updates on your precious animals. You are such a lovely person to make your animals as safe as possible.


    Hugs Mara

  • Capriness
    Capriness Member Posts: 111
    edited November 2013


    Well, thanks to many of you for donations and many of you for good wishes, my beloved Forrest is now in his new home. He woke up to frosty breaths and clear blue skies. That was always his favorite weather.


    image


    I'm sure he would like to thank you all in person but let's not create another Deuce out there. Hope you're all feeling fine on this Sunday morning. Love and hugs all around.


    Teri

  • bestbird
    bestbird Member Posts: 232
    edited November 2013
    Teri, it's good to hear that your beautiful Forrest is enjoying frosty air and clear blue skies. I hope that you are having a good day, and that it holds something especially lovely for you!

    Hugs.
  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited November 2013


    Good morning/afternoon Teri, and all. I have had a weekend away from communications devices and really enjoyed it, but was anxious to get back here to see how everyone is doing. I love the picture of Forrest, am so glad he is enjoying this wonderful autumn. It is truly my favorite season as well, and it was great fun to see my breath and feel the fresh air on my face yesterday morning. It was a leisurely day, and I did some painting, a little inspiration got me a long way. So Teri, I hope you are getting moments of inspiration and getting some of that down on paper or canvas, enjoying the feel of the creative process. Lots of hugs all around.

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