Time for hospice and Im really scared
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Ladies, I was wondering if we should set up a thread along the lines of what some have suggested, a support thread for those going through what Teri did, who need somewhere to talk, or to find friends when they have few around them as they progress toward the ends of their lives. Is there such a thread already? We should check. Something along the lines of:
Considering Hospice? Scared?
Need support, others to talk with? You are not alone, come into our open arms and hearts. Perhaps tell Teri's story about how women from all over the world came together to talk, listen, support and send our love to her regularly, so that she did not feel so scared and by herself, and how she said it brought her comfort.
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I, for one, want this thread or one like it to be here, when it's my time. I have loved feeling a part of so many lives, even when I was lurking. Such wonderful support and love, a safe place to express your fears and comfort.
Wilsie
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Great idea hortense.
Love exactly what you wrote 0 -
I, too, have been reflecting on why this page spoke to me so deeply and so much more than some other pages. It is easy to think that it was about Terri because she "called" us together and was so bravely honest about her fears and needs. I think, on the surface, we came together to support Terri and to be her companions on this, the last part of her journey here. I think actually we supported each other while we supported Terri. We called on each others' strengths, allowed for each other's fears and spoke of those things that we are all most afraid of as we live with cancer in our bodies. Supporting Teri and speaking of those things that were most difficult for her, like parting with her dear pets, allowed us to speak also of those things that are most difficult for us. When we honored her fears we honored each other's fear and our own. I would very much like to continue gathering here with all of you.
I'm not sure that focusing specifically on Hospice is necessary. I like the idea of "Teri's Sisters" or some such name. A feed in Memory of our Sister Teri who shared with us her fears of entering Hospice and of dying. In sharing those fears she allowed us to support her and each other. She allowed us to be part of her brave and graceful death which gives us hope and some measure of freedom from our own fears of passing.
I think people will find the feed, as we all did, and hopefully we will be able to honor Teri's amazing honesty. I am so glad to have found this place. You all have helped me accept my life and the changes that have come, to live my life rather than simply avoiding sickness - if that makes any sense.
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Very sad to hear that Terri has passed. So grateful that she shared her time with us.
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I was so hoping she would "fail hospice" again. But it was not meant to be. Rest in peace, Terri.
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wilsie, So nicely worded. I lurk alot trying to realize the reality of this disease.
The compassion and knowledge I felt when I first joined this group motivates
Me to seek the bravery Teri and so many of us ladies strive for.
I will miss the stories and jokes about her loving animals. She planned her
Destiny up to her brother notifying this forum when she passed. the love
She gave and received here was awesome. Rest Teri, free of pain and all worries.
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Vadre: Teri's Twinkles? Honoring Teri and remembering how she drew us all towards the positive.
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hi ladies. I have been reading this uplifting thread for quite some time. I live in Oregon and did a little searching and found this. I think it may be her???? Wrong birthday though?????
Found it online. Read and let me know if it's her.
Theresa Louise "Teri" Clark
Clark, Theresa Louise 'Teri' 66 Jan. 01, 1947 May 04, 2013 Teri passed away on Saturday, May 4, 2013, in Beaverton. She was born Theresa Louise Hansen on Jan. 1, 1947. She went to Rose City Park Elementary, Grant and Madison High Schools. In 1956, she was a Junior Rose Festival Princess. Teri worked in real estate and with her husband, owned The Sunset Group Realtors. She is survived by her husband, Bruce Clark; sister, Sandy Gibson; daughters, Darla Garcia, Angie Quandt and Heather Nolan; and eight grandchildren. A Celebration of Life will be held on Saturday, May 18, 2013, 5-8 p.m., at Portland Golf Club. Donations may be made to Breast Friends.
Published in The Oregonian on May 12, 2013
Hugs ladies. Very saddened.
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No.. Our Teri didn't have a husband, children or grandchildren. She was a visual artist who had just earned some significant additional professional credentials before being forced out of her job, not a realtor. She was survived by her animals, who she placed carefully in new and caring homes, a mother and a brother.
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Thank you Susan for clarifying. Hugs to you ladies and may peace be with Teri.
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I am so very sad and sorry to hear of Teri's death. Although I knew it was coming, it still hurts to know that such a she is no longer with us.
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I love "Teri's Twinkles!" 2013etc
I've never started a feed. I'm out of town but will be home this evening & will see what I can figure out. For those of you just checking in, many of us would like to keep the friendship & support that Teri invited us to share. We thought a new feed, in her Memory & Honor, so that we could continue to share the wonderful sisterhood that we found with her. I will post the information for the new feed once I've figured out how to do it!
IF ANYONE ELSE WOULD LIKE TO START THE FEED just let me know. I don't care if I'm the one to start it, I would just like to keep Teri's open spirit going here!
Virginia
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If a new thread is started, which is very easy to do, it should have a title that encourages new people to click on it and an introduction explaining what the thread is for.
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What Ever y'all decide count me in!!!
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Tears, prayers and weak in the knees to know Terri is gone...Why did the brother not honor her wish....well one he has no idea of how difficult is for us on the periphery...One more angel in heaven....Blessings to all. Carolyn from Fl/Tn
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Before I read your post, Bon, I was going to suggest "Teri's Spirit" because, although she is gone, her spirit lives on in all of us. But I also like your idea where others can read Teri's words themselves.
~~Diane
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Bon - as always, you come up with such lovely, thoughtful ideas. I like it.
However, I would like to remind all of us that Teri was not religious and would not like a thread in her honor to become so, in fact she was very specific about her feelings that she did not want prayers.
Teri was not religious. She did want to talk about end of life issues in an honest and frank manner, her fears among them, and she wanted friends as she was feeling singularly alone even through she had family nearby. That is what drew me to her thread.
Perhaps add something along the line of:
Everyone is welcome, especially those in need of understanding friends and support as they face the unknown. As Teri was not religious and asked us not to post prayers, we ask that her wishes be respected.
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Bon and Hortense, I like both your ideas. There are many other threads for prayers and specific religions, and although I think Teri was somewhat "spiritual" or maybe just "insightful" in the way she was so close to her animals and nature and art, she was certainly not "religious" and did not want prayers, so I agree this must be honored as well. On other threads where the originator has passed, many felt odd about continuing to post there, but this is a little different: Teri brought us together, and I think she would be pleased if we continued our friendship, right here, where it all started, rather than having a separate thread. Just my 2 cents worth.
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I like your point Linda....Teri brought a world-wide group of wonderful women together and even though she was not religious, certainly her kindness, love for animals, talent and gentle nature are symbolic of a beautiful spirit, so we can continue to honor her spirit without turning this thread into something she would not have liked. I also liked exbrnxgrl's suggestion of friending each other on Facebook so we can get a peak into each others more personal lives and health updates. This is strictly voluntary as some here have had had bad experiences with stalker-like behaviors and that is the LAST thing we want to encourage.
I miss Teri but it is nice to reconnect with those who were inspired by her.
Amy
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Sounds like this might work out!
How about it everyone? Would you still come by?
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Yes I will.
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This was on another thread.......
ComfortablyNumb wrote:
I just spoke with Teri on the phone. She says she is still "hanging out" at her home in Oregon. She is having problems breathing, but still has that "twinkle". She spoke about her goats and Forrest. She said it was nice that so many people cared, and she wanted to let everyone know that she couldn't type or go online, but her brother would notify everyone on BCO.
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Thank you for posting that, Silka. It must have been comforting for her to know that her beloved horse Forrest was safe and doing well in California. Her goats were nearby so she probably would have heard about them from time to time.
I just sent a plump donation to Forest's place in her honor after calling and speaking to someone there. I wanted to be sure he gets the care he needs. I know some horse retirement places do very little for their critters but turn them loose in a big pasture to fend for themselves. The woman I spoke to seemed to care a lot about the ones in her care, so I believe that he is getting everything necessary for an older horse, shots, deworming, feet trimmed, teeth attended to, etc. as well as ample food. She said he had put on a lot of weight and was very happy living with group of mares after being alone for so long. Horses are very social animals. I imagine that he would be pleased to be back among his own kind. Teri found the perfect place for him.
I hope everyone is as well as possible and enjoying the warmer weather (for those of us north of the equator). I am better now, but had an unwanted reminder of how quickly seeming good health can melt away. Sooooo frustrating. I have a renewed appreciation for feeling good and being able to do things I want to be able to do, even if it's not as fast as it used to be. Maybe I needed a reminder that I was taking too much for granted, or doing too much? Whatever it was, I am looking forward to planting about six flats of flowers and veggies in the next few days. I am sure the mama deer and tiny young fawn I saw this morning in our East pasture will love chomping on them
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Wow Teri, you are absolutely one amazing Woman!!! Much Love to You.
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Wow, what beautiful artwork of yours on that website!
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I will definitely come by. And I am fine to continue here rather than starting anew. But starting a new thread is OK with me too. If we start a new thread, we could post one of Teri's pictures in the header (maybe if we figure out how to do that) or a picture of Forrest or of Deuce or his mom.... This is the one thread that I check regularly.Janet
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Hortense,
I agree completely! Teri was not religious and, as we want a feed to honor her memory and gift to us, this feed should continue that practice. I've never started a feed before and it sounds like you have...would you be willing to take on the task? I'm happy to if you'd rather not but experience is a good thing!
There have been some great suggestions about names. I wonder though, if to make others know they are welcome, we might consider something that didn't put Teri's name first?
Now I'm laughing because I can almost hear Teri laughing at us! Fretting over the exactly right name, exactly right format etc! Maybe we should just put it out there and be done with it?! Is there a way to leave the title as is but change the introductory paragraph to include an update about why we've decided to stay united? Everyone would then have access to the entire feed still!
What do we think, ladies?
Virginia
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ladies,
Have you seen the other thread? It appears as if Teri has not passed on. You may be premature in honoring her memory.
Caryn
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exbrnxgrl,
This is really upsetting. I wish I felt comfortable about the new thread. At least Teri knows & we all know how much she means to us and how much this thread means to us. My wishes for Teri and her comfort continue. Thanks for alerting me to the other thread!
Virginia
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