Stupid comments ....
Comments
-
Professor - oh, wow...that is one crazy dialogue!! How scary that we have to rely on them for so much. Sorry about your "friends" comments, too...that would have really irked me!!!
0 -
That's a frustrating doctor/patient dialogue. Ugh. Were you itching to poke her in the eye? LOL And the friend comment--I have had a few family and friends say similar things to me. They think they are helping me stay positive by thinking of the cancer that way. Not really helping. Sorry your friend downplayed your condition. Shows a lack of understanding on many levels.
0 -
Geez, Professor, if that was just a "cancer scare" I certainly wouldn't want to know what the real thing is like!
I'll bet you had to pick your jaw up off the floor after both those conversations with friend and with your MO. Talk about clueless...
0 -
Thanks everyone! I have another friend with whom I always laugh as we say together, "You know, it's just a touch of cancer." It's good to have someone who "gets" you amid all the weird things that happen once you get that diagnosis.
0 -
I gave up on the trying to figure out if I'm menopausal. I wasn't 3 1/2 years ago when I started Tamoxifen. The only reason would be to switch to an AI. I had a 2nd opinion MO tell me my symptoms were from menopause & I replied they all started within the first month of starting tamox. The rest of my appt she talked to me thru clenched teeth. So I went back to my overly optimistic MO("you'll do just fine")
As far as the when &/or where was your last mamogram question. I've gotten to the point where I laugh. The reminder letters I throw out. At my BS office the medical assistant asked me where & when was my last "imaging". I told her prior to my surgery. Then she told me the doctor would want the results. I told her, the doctor told me, that if I had both breasts removed I would never have to have another mamogram.(I've always hated the word 'mastectomy', it doesn't roll off my tongue very well,feel like I have a lisp). My BS came in & apologized "she's new" & "yes, there is no reason for you to EVER have another mamogram." I've seen a couple of posts from women in Canada, where mamograms are done on flat chests. I'm holding my BS to her word!!
0 -
coraleliz - oh my!! I can't imagine having a mammogram on a flat chest. How on earth could that be done??? I hope that doesn't come up ever! I could see doing an MRI, maybe, although I suppose there aren't any boobs to hang down, so maybe that wouldn't work either. By the way, I love your Wilma! I think my scars look just like hers!
0 -
NatsFan,
Thank you! I laughed out loud when I read "I have no mammos to gram anymore" and that is just what I needed. I just found out that I have BC and it has spread to my lymph nodes.
0 -
Professor...you FAILED tamoxifen? It seems to me that tamoxifen failed YOU.
Sheesh.
0 -
Exactly: tamoxifen failed YOU,, not the other way around. Wow, what a frustrating conversation with your MO.No way would I try to put my flat side thru a mammogram,, even tho there is excess skin there,, there is just no way. However, when I do the breast MRI, the radiologist does comment on the flat side as well as my remaining breast. **nothing noted in chest wall**
0 -
glennie - glad to hear they do comment on the flat side when doing an MRI. Nobody has said anything about repeating those on me since I have two flat sides, but I'll be curious to see if anything comes up at my 1 year.
Gina4h - sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. Laughing out loud is definitely good medicine! Take care!
0 -
Professor, I agree, Tamox definitely failed you, not the other way around!
I'd like to see them try to get my flat side onto a mammo paddle, not happening! LOL
I get a mammo on my remaining side and an U/S on the flat side, once a year and I see my surgeon twice yearly. He does a really thorough exam, each time I see him, on both sides and in both armpits, checking for nodes. I feel pretty confident with that.
0 -
Ariom - that's a great idea to do the ultrasound on the flat side, and much cheaper than an MRI so perhaps it would be covered by my insurance. I like the idea of doing some type of monitoring other than me just going in and verbally telling them whether or not I have symptoms!
0 -
Works for me Amy, I have never been offered an MRI, but my health cover would allow it, if my Surgeon ordered it.
I found a lump about 6 months ago, right before my regular checkup, but not my mammo time and I had an U/S guided biopsy for that too. Fortunately, just a cyst.I don't have dense breasts, sorry, breast! So that may be part of the reason that U/S is ordered for me.
0 -
Professor
To everyone but a bc patient, cancer scare and brush with cancer means that it didn't kill you.
It didn't kill me yet. There's still time .It did killed my peace of mind ,it killed my physical appearance and it killed my feelings of physical well being. We wont go into the what the financial cost killed. Our long planned vacation is cancelled.
And I find out that once my life insurance expires it will not be renewed, by any insurance company. F8ck me twice. (sorry, I had to say it)
0 -
RaiderGirl, What can I say except that I stand with you and share your utter frustration? This experience sucks 6 ways to Sunday.
0 -
In complete agreement...brush with cancer...sheesh gmafb. I agree that it didn't kill me, but it killed a lot of other stuff. I was on the phone with my nurse navigator yesterday venting about the complete loss of trust in my own body at this point. I have a scan next week for shoulder pain and the MO threw in a bone scan for good measure. I'm freaked out, but trying to stay calm. How do people live like this???
uggg
0 -
I have to share something that happened to me today. This isn't a stupid comment, more like.... well it just wasn't helpful, let's put it that way. I am 100% sure the person meant well! But the comment was to the effect that this person knows some others that have been through breast cancer, and they don't have any lasting issues from it, so maybe all my pain, weakness, chemo brain, etc is actually caused by something else? I was speechless. I guess I'm just a big wimp then.
0 -
Jennie - Whoa! That absolutely takes my breath away. Perhaps you need to provide her with links to some of the many studies dealing with chemo brain, neuropathy, radiation fibrosis, etc., etc. What a rotten thing to say.
Raider Girl - your comment about 'taking away your peace of mind' is spot on. And yes, the financial impact, not to mention the scars, etc. Let's not forget the toll it takes on our spouses, either.
There are some days when I literally can't imagine living this way for the rest of my natural life. Fortunately, there are others when some sort of resignation takes over. Still, it's tough. And no, it does NOT make us better people.
0 -
I know this person meant well. All I could think of was that the other people she knew, that had been through BC, were probably just not talking about their ongoing pain and other issues. All of my docs told me that it would go away eventually, and I believed them, so when it didn't, I blamed myself. Must've been something I did wrong, or didn't do right, eh? So I don't share that stuff with most people, I just try to carry on.
0 -
Well, that's probably a pretty realistic approach as far as sharing with other people (although I think many people could benefit from some education on these issues). However, please remember that you can come here and vent, whine, question and let it all go to your heart's content, Jennie.
PS - notice that "eventually" is rarely defined. I've heard some side effects referred to terms of 3-5 years to clear up. That's a long time, in my book.
0 -
Just need to share that the stupidness has already begun. I have known that I have BC for about 18 hours and so does my sister and the friend who drove me to the biopsy. The friend told someone she knows who posted it on facebook. Now I am trying to get in touch with my children before they find out on facebook instead of from me!
0 -
Gina4h, I am so sorry that "the friend" would make such a stupid comment on facebook. That is a international mistake. I only tell people on a need to know basis. I am tired of the stupid remarks. And I do not use facebook.......
I'm tired of "so they caught it early", not really I am Stage IV, so not early enough. I just want to know if they think "catching" it is like fishing or something. Then to follow it with "so how long do you have?" WTH? Reload, possibly longer than you!
0 -
My oldest brother is known for his stupid comments to me, mostly critical of my life choices and the fact that I'm about 20 pounds overweight, but the 2 that stand out for me are:
When we first spoke after we found out I had breast cancer the very first thing he said to me was, "Well do you think maybe NOW is a good time to start eating right and exercising?"
After we had an argument about his critical comments towards me when I was 3 weeks post-surgery and he thought I should start exercising he said I was just upset that he "deviated from the outpouring of sympathy you seem to feel entitled to."
Thanks for letting me vent!
0 -
KbellaK, My oh my, we must be related. My older brother told me that maybe we can get a discount at the nursing home if I room with my Mother! WTH?? I'll miss him.................ugh!
0 -
KbellaK - well, in my opinion, and I'm sure in the opinion of most other caring and compassionate people, when someone has cancer and goes through all the ups and downs of appointments, tests and surgeries, yes, yes that person is MOST DEFINITELY entitled to an outpouring of sympathy, love and hugs - NOT criticism!!! So sorry you had to deal with that. I hope that you are recovering well. My surgery was in July and, while I have lofty goals of exercising every day, I am not there yet. I still plan on getting there, but it's a lot to change eating habits and exercise habits so fast, so I am just doing the best I can! Hang in there!
0 -
KBella, your brother is an A-1 jerk and toxic to your health. If I see him, I will give him a giant junk punch! So sorry that you are not getting compassion and support that you deserve and from your brother,no less.
MsP
0 -
A junk punch to your brother, KBellaK Argh!!!!!Gina, I hope you get to your kids before they see FB. Can't your "friend" take the comment down??? Hello,,, DELETE!!
0 -
"I'm always fascinated by the people who haven't had cancer who give us advice on how to deal with our situation. WTF"
Well, they must be doing something right, since they don't have cancer, right?? It would stand to follow then than they'd know how to deal with this, too. (Tongue firmly in cheek.)
0 -
LOL, I had a feeling my brother's comments would elicit a strong reaction. I think in his mind he is being "caring" but I think he is missing the "empathy chip" most of us are equipped with. He has had some tough times dealing with his crazy ex-wife, while he sees my 22-year marriage thrive through the years, while we have dealt with having an autistic son and all the heartache associated with that. But my heart broke with that comment about "outpouring of sympathy..." I just can't get past it.
0
