Stupid comments ....
Comments
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Ruska, I am so sorry about your "friend". That was so hurtful for her to say that. Of course, you worry about your daughter and want to be here for her. She should understand that!! You are smart to not call her anymore. You do not need that type of person in your life. As for your co-worker,,, You could report him, but I can understand if you dont,,, cuz it will take a lot of energy to deal with the situation, and you need to keep your energy for treatment and for your daughter. And I LOVED what you told that neighbor,,, being tired in all in her mind,,, LOL!!!
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My SIL, who's been battling mental illness, posted on her FB page that she wished she had cancer instead so she'd have a support system. It took everything I had to stop myself from responding with something mean.
Ugg.
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As a lesbian I can say that I miss my breasts as much as anyone does.
That was a really stupid remark.
JJ
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Another lesbian here, and I certainly miss my breasts as well. Now you can tell your SIL that you've interviewed some lesbians on this topic.
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Thanks for chiming in lol, I know that one has nothing to do with the other. She also told me that I was lucky that my husband hadn't left me...and launches into a long story about a woman she knew with breast cancer who's husband left her because he didn't want a woman with no boobs. I told her that maybe she just had a crappy husband because I've read countless posts where women have said that their husbands cared more about them staying alive than about how many boobs they had. My husband told me to stop talking to her. I did cringe at telling her about this at all because she's never had a filter and I knew she'd have something callous, negative or misinformed to say but I told her anyway because she's almost 50 and has never had a mammogram (she has breast implants and thinks a mammo will make them burst so I told her to request an ultrasound instead) and may be at risk too. Even with that, she said that she's not at risk because cancer doesn't run in either side of our family and I'm just the oddball. I told her that not everyone with cancer has a family history...blah blah blah and the debate went on and on.
My husband and I haven't told anyone in his family about this because they're all very religious and believe that every illness/condition/disease is God's way of punishing people for being weak of faith and/or not going to church. When he was diagnosed with a serious condition 5 years ago, his parents told him it wouldn't have happened had he gone to church regularly (as if churchgoers don't have medical conditions). We wanted to avoid the victim blaming drizzled with schadenfreude this time.
So we're dealing with this with zero family support.
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Ok ladies
I was actually asked if my ho-ha has atrophied.
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Raider........and the idiot was?
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Like your lady-bits are any of their freaking business?
...sigh. ..
JJ
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sas-schatzi,
Someone of no importance.
I told her if my pussie ever atrophies it wont be a problem since my husband has a very small penis and doesn't know how to use it well anyway.
She didn't know what to say.
DH was within earshot, I heard him drop a coffee cup and bust out laughing. ( gotta love that man).
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Chocomousse, the research shows that the vast majority of partners just want us to be healthy and don't care about the breasts.
RaiderGirl, I think the answer is, "No, it's like the Grand Canyon or something!"
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Ksusan
Grand Canyon....
love that.I would say that most real men may admire the female breast but not so much if they're on a corpse.
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just decided to post was TMI. Deleted it
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I got 'well the stats are 1 in 6 get it ,you got it so the rest of us are safe!!!! My lovely in laws.one then actually have cancer or is it just spots!!
My favourite one still is you look great bet your glad that s over and your back to normal my normal now if constant pain I feet back my head hurts it's filled with worry.i take so many mess that I ache in my feet my back my legs and arms hurt all Dow to medsSo my ask is when who say someone looks good ask how are they feeling telly feeing I can gaurentee the answer will be enlightening
So frustrating.i may look good but if better at hidingall the pain
Sorry for rant took sleeping tab am a bit zonked!!!!!!!!!
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Oh, RaiderGirl: "I told her if my pussie ever atrophies it wont be a problem since my husband has a very small penis and doesn't know how to use it well anyway." You freaking kill me!!! I wish I had the talent for saying just the right thing at just the right time -- brilliant! And I love your hubs!
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Raider Girl I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself (due to severe skull pain) and decided to log on to take my mind off it. After reading your post I burst out laughing! Thank you - you made my day! As LAStar said I wish I had the talent for saying just the right thing at just the right time! Clearly you do!
SusanAnn
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I think it's "...your husband has a very small penis"--snap!
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RaiderGirl, You must have started this thread because you are around a lot of stupid people. This last request for the moisture content of your hoo haw is unbelievable! I guess nothing is private..... #check out my hoo haw.
MsP
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LAstar and SusanAmm
If I bit my tongue I would be poisoned. I'm certain of it.
Ksusan
Dang, girl. I wish I had thought of "Your husbands penis" . I must file that for possible future need.
MsPharoah
She didn't come right out and ask how was my ho-haw. We were speaking of all the lousy effects of menopause. Still she could have simply said some women suffer from atrophy .
Hey, maybe her ho-haw is the Sahara so she projected on me.
Seems I do know allot of stupid people. I think it's mostly because I can talk to a wall and so make friends easily. I'm not shy, very accepting of everyone, very open and that gives people confidence to not filter their words.
I now find stupid comments so entertaining I think I'm provoking them.
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Happy to be useful. It was my wife's idea. She's quicker with the comeback than I am.
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RG, maybe a bumper sticker or some flair...."Ask me about my cancer"
MsP
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MsP Love the bumper sticker.
About the atrophy..How about "He prefers BJs anyway".😈
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Key-plz
Perfers BJ- another good one to file away.
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Solfeo , these links are to a couple of older threads that may amuse you and be helpful in finding snappy comebacks. Raiders thread here is the current go to thread for stupid comments and snappy comebacks.
You Know Your A Cancer Patient When YKYACPW. This thread isn't as active as it once was, but a hilarious read from the beginning.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/67/topic/755825?page=147#idx_4394
Topic: The dumbest things people have said to you/about you. This thread has basically been inactive for awhile.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/744439?page=1
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I am a teacher and yesterday was the first day back for faculty. I braced myself for all the 'YOU LOOK GREAT!' comments knowing that my coworkers truly meant well. At the end of the day however, one teacher corners me and goes on and on about how great I look, my hair is beautiful, I look like I've lost weight, etc, etc. I turned to him and said, 'yeah, cancer really agrees with me'. Perhaps a bit harsh, but the look on his face was priceless.
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I had a co-worker try to make a stupid joke last night while I was documenting. He said "maybe your wig fell down over your eyes while you were documenting." I put the BP numbers backwards by mistake. What an a**hole!
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Solfeo...I personally would welcome the connection. But like you, I wouldn't have said anything either!
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solfeo...You could just make a general statement about the doctor. Like how much you like (or don't like) the doctor. Keep all information in reference to yourself and your doc. . That will give her an opening to speak if she chooses. If she doesn't bite, then move on to the weather or the movies. Don't keep drilling.
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When I was in a waiting room at the RO's office, another woman said to me, "you are such a striking woman!" I was wearing a bright flowered blouse, white pants, and a white newsboy cap on my almost bald head, and her comment made my heart sing the rest of the day. When I was in the midst of it, I would occasionally say to another woman, "I love your hat." If she responded in kind, we shared about the BC rodeo.
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I make eye contact and nod, or comment on something someone's wearing. I don't want to out anyone or make them think that it's obvious they have cancer--I've had a few people do that to me and it was a downer.
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In the first couple weeks of my first diagnosis, I was standing in line to check in for a consultation with an oncologist, when a lady complimented me on my shoes as she passed by me on her way to a seat in the waiting room . Then she and her elderly mother were called back, and after their appointment they passed me on their way out the door. A moment later she came back in and stood in front of me where I sat with all my notebooks on my lap. I looked up at her face and she said something like, "I know I'm making all sorts of assumptions here, but I want to tell you that you WILL get your life back." I looked up and tears came to my eyes. We started to talk and she helped me figure out some things about finding the right place for treatment. It really touched me that she took a risk to help a stranger, and her words of encouragement echoed in my mind for a long time. (She had been treated for bc several years earlier, and must have recognized the deer-in-the-headlights look on my face.)
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