Stupid comments ....

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Comments

  • Ruska
    Ruska Member Posts: 67
    edited September 2015

    Hazel Nut , I guess some people think that the cancer is game.....

  • Hazel_Nut
    Hazel_Nut Member Posts: 70
    edited September 2015

    Ruska, she was a well meaning lady too. I guess curiosity gets ahead and it's not processed well before it comes out. It's ok, I was just mildly taken aback.

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 121
    edited September 2015

    Ruska,

    The mantra of "I know my friends are trying" only excuses so much. Someone here posted a card along the lines of: when someone you know has been given a lemon, don't tell them how many people you know who have died from lemonade. I'd call your friend on her asinine behavior and if she doesn't get it, drop her.

    bride

  • Penzance
    Penzance Member Posts: 39
    edited September 2015

    Colleague was questioning the fact that I don't dye my hair last week: I am 40, so I should have grey hair according to her... At least, if I end up needing a wig, I won't have to worry about the colour not matching: I can just claim I have died my hair!

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178
    edited September 2015

    If you have ANY of your own hair tell "friend" to STFU.

  • TheyCallMeCommodorable
    TheyCallMeCommodorable Member Posts: 18
    edited September 2015

    bride,

    Sticking with the medical equipment theme, have you considered going as a mammogram machine

  • SelenaWolf
    SelenaWolf Member Posts: 231
    edited September 2015

    On the subject of good movies. "Why I wore lipstick to my mastectomy". It's based on a book by a former BC patient. Although it was hard to watch - was going through many of the same things myself at the time - however, there were times when I would just shriek, "YES!".

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Why_I_Wore_Lipstick_to_My_Mastectomy

  • slappy-squirrel
    slappy-squirrel Member Posts: 199
    edited September 2015

    Bride ,

    How about something with green goo or slime and a " I've had so much radiation I glow in the dark or I'm a superhero now" theme?

    Shirley

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 121
    edited September 2015

    queenmomcat,

    Okay, so when are you and your DH going to meet up with me and my DP for some serious DIY stuff?

    Alright, the Mercedes: 1. 1985 four-door 300TD, 2. 1985 coupe 300CDT, 3. 1986 190 with the rare 2.5 liter engine. Will trade labor for electrical work...

    What do you guys do that's enough?

    Giggling, bride

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 121
    edited September 2015

    Penzance,

    Your cow-orker sounds like a ass. I'm 59 and have maybe 15 grey hairs. What got me was that when my hair first started growing it came in almost translucent. Then it went curly. Now it's curly in some places, wavy in others, and a bit is straight. I never did a wig or hat or scarf and ended up petting other BC patients heads and getting my head petted, all with much laughter.

    If you do get a wig, why not get one that is dazzling? I mean, who told your cow-orker that anything about BC is in anyway age appropriate? And tell your cow- orker to get a frigging grip.

    bride

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 121
    edited September 2015

    Shirley,

    I like how your mind works.Happy I can see myself as some kind of (not green) hulk with a warning like mutant, over-radiated. It would be cool if I could inflate and deflate... CO2 cartridges maybe? Got to add music somehow.

    Radiation run amuck, I love it! If you can think of details, please post them.

    Thanks,

    bride

  • Keys-Plez
    Keys-Plez Member Posts: 190
    edited September 2015


    OK. My well-intended, idiot.sister left me with an urgent voicemail. "Is your TV on? Turn on your TV. Call me!!!!"

    I'm thinking OMG. 9/11? Earthquake? Are we at war?

    So I turn on the TV. Nothing. WTF? I call her. She says, "There's a new study that says if you drink olive oil everyday it reduces your risk of getting breast cancer by 60%."

    Earth to sister. I already have cancer. WHERE'S YOUR SIGN?

  • lastar
    lastar Member Posts: 553
    edited September 2015

    I never heard of this movie -- thanks for the recommendation! I found it on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha7jMcg3Xx4


  • tjh
    tjh Member Posts: 272
    edited September 2015

    One of my students was very curious about my health and my scarves. She had an aunt that had cancer and wanted to know if I was in remission. I explained about surgery and chemo. Then she she asked why I wear scarves and I explained about not having hair. Then she said...Can I see it?"....I just said no and sent her to lunch and then laughed. She came back after lunch and told me that "They make wigs out of mink and fur, you should get one" I laughed and changed the subject to geography homework....Keep in mind she is a loveable 12 year old who has emotional and behavior challenges....We will have to work on some social skills😆

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,894
    edited September 2015

    image

  • Ruska
    Ruska Member Posts: 67
    edited September 2015

    I went to see my MO today because of the lower back pain, and he said we have to schedule a bone scan, because the reason could be that the cancer have metastised to my bones. So I'm standing in the lobby really nervous and sad. One guy was passing by , he looked at me and said ' smile , baby, smile'. If I was all healthy I would probably just smile. But I took my hat off ( I'm bold now) looked at him said ' are you happy now?' . The guy probably thought I was crazy .  And probably he was right..... May be I'm going crazy .....

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 4,833
    edited September 2015

    You are not going crazy, Ruska. That guy had no right to tell you to smile, what you have to entertain him? I hate it when guys tell me that. I am not a puppet to entertain them.

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178
    edited September 2015

    What Glennie said!!

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,894
    edited September 2015

    What Spookie said !

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 15,894
    edited September 2015

    image

  • rosesrx
    rosesrx Member Posts: 264
    edited September 2015

    Rusk a when I first read your post I thought it was your MO that said the stupid remark. Sending you down that dark road without offering you other causes for the pain... like chemo, Neulasta, post surgical pain and then offering a solution such as pain meds, PT, massage etc. But I don't like to be told how to act or present myself especially by a stranger. Hugs to you as you wait for scans and results.

  • lastar
    lastar Member Posts: 553
    edited September 2015

    I don't know if GIFs work here, but I like how the gals from Broad City deal with someone who tells them to smile.

    http://giphy.com/gifs/broad-city-ilana-glazer-abbi...


  • lulud471
    lulud471 Member Posts: 20
    edited September 2015

    LA Star that GIF is incredibly funny!

  • rosesrx
    rosesrx Member Posts: 264
    edited September 2015

    great gif I think I could do that for a select few.

  • tjh
    tjh Member Posts: 272
    edited September 2015

    I was at a large fair yesterday, waiting in line for a popover...A 30 something women said..."I am so glad you are getting out, when my mother had breast cancer she really tried to get out as much as possible" I said "I am done with treatment and just getting strength and hair back, so I feel great". Then she said..."That's good my Mom's hair never came back". I let my daughter stand in line to wait, what I didnot say back was Fu** You, Bit**. I am very proud of my restraint.

  • Ruska
    Ruska Member Posts: 67
    edited September 2015

    Tjh,

    I'm proud of you too! I were you I would definetaly speak up my mind!!!! Why people are like that?! 

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 121
    edited September 2015

    Ruska,

    I'd happily slap that "smile" ass for you. I've had a spot on my spine my MO is watching but it isn't growing and is all of 1mm big. But today I got a call from my MO's nurse telling me I now also have a lung nodule. She ended the conversation by telling me to have a great day. No, we're not crazy, but the world is doing its damnedest (or damndest, if you prefer) to make us nuts. The clueless are everywhere. Damn them!

    bride

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 121
    edited September 2015

    tjh,

    You should be proud of you self-restraint. When I was bald and still had my JP drains in, a woman pursued me into the bathroom saying, "sir, sir, you're in the wrong restroom." I was wearing a scoop neck top with lace on it. I asked if there was a special restroom for women with cancer. I have no idea why baldness is taken as an invitation to make stupid, nasty, condescending remarks, but it is. Some days, even now that I have hair, I can't match your restraint. I'm impressed!

    bride

  • bride
    bride Member Posts: 121
    edited September 2015

    LA Star,

    Loved the gif!

  • BigSister-2015
    BigSister-2015 Member Posts: 298
    edited September 2015

    the most stupid thing I heard was the morning after my BMX with recon using TEs.

    My nurse, who had been a hairdresser before nursing school, commented, "Isn't it amazing that there is no pain after a mastectomy?"

    I couldn't even respond. All I could think was that sheshould go back to hairdressing!

    There is very little pain when all you get is a mastectomy, but recon is a whole different ballgame.