My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Good morning all. Sending good wishes and hugs to all. Irish, stay safe! I'd say more, but I am yet another one who is feeling a rainy spell in my bones, and I hurt all over, so hard to think and write all that I would like to, to each individually. I think Shana said once before, that she'd never had such strong reactions to weather changes before these cancer drugs, and I'm really with her on that one. Never had nearly so much reaction to the weather before Faslodex and Verzenio. I especially think it is the low estrogen stuff. There isn't one joint or bone in my body that isn't hurting right now from our latest day and night of steady PNW drizzle. I am thinking of everyone here and am sending happy thoughts. Just can't individualize right now.
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Good morning all. It looks like Tampa didn’t get hit by Helene and has some tropical weather and flooding. I live inland so far nothing today. Yesterday rain no wind.
Shana thank you for sharing your anniversary with us and congratulations. I will reread your advice on intimacy. Very informative. I’m sorry to read about your budgie. That’s very sad to have found him and not have realized earlier that cuddling and comfort were needed.
My brother in law passed away yesterday suddenly. It was sad and shocking because he didn’t “appear” sick. We were all together in the beginning of the month. My sister and nieces will miss him more than anything. Hopefully I’ll get to the funeral in NC. Waiting to hug my sister.
Mel I’m sorry you’re going through this with your friend.
Congratulations on the good scan results in the cabin! Every 3-6 months hanging on a thread to find out if you’re stable or not is stressful to say the least.Mara I enjoy hearing about all your cooking recipes. I’ll report I had a mini perfect bar coffee and a banana for breakfast. lol just couldn’t make myself anything today.
Sorry for all who are struggling.
Waving hello to all.
Tanya
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SF cakes, wonderful news on the good scans, not surprised that you cried, we often cry out of relief when receiving that kind of news.
Irish, stay safe and in pockets for you and your DH as well as you deal with everything. I would keep the weight on myself, I was told to keep mine as if there is a time that I cannot eat for a period, the muscle makes it better for me. I always weigh the same as well, no loss or gain so that is good.
Cookie, sorry your pup had bad diarrhea, it would bother him and leave a mess for you to clean up. Chicken and rice sounds about right. In pockets for your husband and you as well.
Mel sending my love and thoughts your way as well.
Mae, hope you are safe from the storms.
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My cordless handvacs are both suffering from short battery use. I am presently debating a replacement or extenstion cord instead so I can just bring over to the litter area. I have used a timer on the computer and found that when plugged in, it runs for 25 or 60 seconds but I can turn back on immediately after. I do not need it to run a long time and the other handvacs are triple the price of an extension cord so will get one of those and keep the hand vac I have. Makes it totally functional for me. I love solving my problems. Fixed the split AC from stopping by researching, found out pressing the fan button for 3 seconds keeps it going.
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Tanya, so sorry to read about your BIL. Sending prayers for comfort and solace. Sudden deaths are so hard.
Shanagirl, I am sending hugs for the passing of your budgie. These little guys wiggle their way into our hearts. I had a budgie when I was a young girl and he helped me through some rough times. I have thought of getting one lately, but know I can't put any additional work on my DH.
I am getting ready to go with my DD to Hobby Lobby…yay…a fun outing for me. Sad when these little things are so important and take so much effort!
I am praying for those of you in the path of this latest storm. Stay safe!
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Tanya - deepest condolences to your family on the loss of your BIL. Peace and comfort to all.
Shana - I can hear your heartbreak in your words. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your little budgie had a wonderful life with you.
Intolight - I love Hobby Lobby. Hope your trip was fun. I don’t have the stamina to make it through the whole store!
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Tanya, my condolences for the sudden passing of your bil, I hope you're able to see your sister and comfort her through this difficult time.
Shana, happy anniversary! I'm sure you enjoyed it. and I'm sorry to hear about your budgie.
SF, congratulations on your stable scan, that's what we all need. enjoy your well-deserved vacation.
Mel, I'm sorry about your friend, the hard part is knowing what's down the road and it's not what we want for our loved ones.
Sondra, I love what you wrote for Mel, very thoughtful. how are you? I feel that the new med is working on you.
Mae, the emotional rollercoaster is something we all know too well, but you're in good hands with MDA, I'm hoping for the best for you.
this thread moves so quickly! I wish the best for everyone here, especially our lovely Sunshine.
my scan result wasn't great, progression again in one of the liver tumors, I called my MO's office but no response yet. anyway, I'll see him next week. my anxiety hits hardest at night, or more precisely at midnight, when I can't do anything like call the MO's office. during the day I tell myself it's okay if he doesn't call, I'll see him next week, but at midnight my mind says otherwise. I really wish I could experience remission.
my therapist quit her job as a therapist, despite she wasn't quite helpful, I'm still gonna miss our meetings, I don't think I'll request for another therapist anytime soon. on a bright side, my sister is coming to visit us. it's nice of her, I really needed it, hopefully her presence will help reduce the weight of stress and anxiety.
Hugs
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Just arrived home, it's always lovely to come back home, to my cozy little house (even if no redwoods around). Neighbor nicely held a package for me that arrived right after I left.
Shanagirl, I'm so sorry about your budgie, felt like I was right there with you when you described it. That sweet bird was clearly loved by you.
Tanya, so sorry about your brother's passing, and that it was sudden has to be hard for the whole family. Hope you are able to be with them for a while, if not in person then in spirit.
Snow-drop, I wish your MO's office would respond promptly, next week feels like too long to wait when you have any progression. Sending you love and hugs.
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@tanya_djamila, my condolences on your loss. The impact of unexpected news like that always seems to leave you in shock.
@shanagirl. I am so sorry about your budgie. It sounds like she had a wonderful home and lots of love. They are part of the family, no mistake about that.
@sf-cakes, such good news about the scans and an excellent idea about cabin. It sounds like a paradise. I also like alone-time to deal with issues that are big to me.
@irishlove, thank you and everybody else for their good thoughts and support. I cannot put into words how much it means to me. The best I can do describe it is to say it makes me feel warm and secure and safe. It is an amazing feeling and you all should be so proud of the positive difference you make to people's lives, just by responding on these boards.
In Australia they generally won't release your results to you until you have seen your Dr. So you go into appointments totally cold. You don't have an opportunity to construct a list of questions before the meeting - you just get the information cold. I can see why they think it is a good idea because some people can't deal with negative results, but I prefer getting bad news in a place where I feel safe and I can react privately.
I think the various drs also forget that, just as they review your stats at every appointment/scan/bloodwork, so too does the patient - whether consciously or unconconsiously. Asking themselves, have I had enough, yet? Am I enjoying life? I am also a control freak and the knowledge that my medical data has been considered by an oncologist team before I know what it is drives me batshit crazy. Control freak and cancer is never a good mix, and this disease has taken most of my control away.
In everybody's pockets with support💕
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I’m sorry about your precious bird Shana. That really sucks. She knew you loved her. Sending hugs.
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I’m sorry about your bil Tanya. Sending caring hugs.
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@tanya_djamila MY deepest condolences to you and your DS on the passing of your BIL. I’m glad your dear sister will have you there in her time of grief. Thank you for your kind words to me also.🩵
@goldensrbest @malleemiss251 @micmel @sf-cakes @tanya_djamila @intolight Thank you all for your kind words. It really an encouragement to be able to come here to Mel’s and share our days of joy, and sorrow, and know that each one of you really get it that our pets are what drive us to keep going. You all know the love of our animal babies..thank you so much for understanding and giving me the words I need to hear I love you all and grateful to have you to come to. Wow you are al like Therapy🥰
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been a rough week . Had to share my baby
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Tanya, I am so sorry to read about BIL, I am also sending condolences to you, his friends and family as well. I don't blame you for having simple food, it would be hard to feel like eating anything. In your pocket send support and love.
Shana, condolences on the loss of your feathered family member.
Into light, enjoy the outing with DD, you will feel good while out and may need a nap later.
I am pretty wiped out today, my fault, at later at night. I have started on laundry, litter and budget boosting. No other plans on the agenda, did not go out with DB because I need to ensure that my fridge and freezer are not full.
I had a fail, followed a youtube tutorial about making tortilla chips but mine were no good. Burned some of them and they were nothing like tortilla chips, big thumbs down.
I made a mini pizza and put diced onions and peppers topped with shredded cheese, took may 10 mins, just cooling it now. Supper looks like rice possibly with scrambled egg vibe, checking milk to make sure it is still good, if not the egg will be enough and just put everything in the frypan to heat up. I have some potato hashbrowns that have yet to be used. Last night I did not eat enough at supper and that gave me the hungries. May also melt some cheez whiz and water, mix and pour into the pan as well.
I am hoping today is going well for people and am in pockets for those grieving and for anyone who needs me.
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@micmel, Theo is a whole lot of cute in a furry package. The camera (and I), cannot help but fall in love with him.
@mara51506, it is good to try new ideas, even if they don't work. At least you have tried it.
In everybody's pockets with support.
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Mel - that pupper face is so precious. We are so blessed to have their companionship❤️🐾🐾❤️
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shanagirl I'm sorry about the passing of your budgie. I can tell what a great animal mom you are all your animals are so lucky to have you.Hugs.
tanya My sincere condolences to you and your family. We are never ready to lose our loved ones.Hugs.
snow-drop I'm sorry to hear about your progression in your liver. I hope time passes quickly and you will hear from your MO sooner than later. Hugs.
Mel Thanks for sharing Theo…simply adorable.
Extra prayers going up for all the heavy hearts here ❌⭕️
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@shanagirl Oh your words were so heart rendering, but I could feel the love you had for your birdie. Please do not feel guilt not being with her. You were her love and life and she would never forgive you for carrying guilt. What a gentle, sweet lady you are. Your love for animals is quite evident and the bonds you make with each one is so warm and special. I'd say they are or were so blessed to have you as their Mommy.
@tanya_djamila I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your BIL. I'm glad your sister has you to help her with her grief. I pray the grief will lessen in time and the good memories will shine thru.
@snow-drop I hope your MO gets on this set back now. It's just so unfair to make your or any of his or her patients have to wait. Remission is a goal and perhaps the treatment plan next will do the job.. Praying for you if you accept prayers.
Hi everyone. Hope you didn't have damage from that awful hurricane. DS and his wife are in Charlotte, NC and they have problems. They rent a building to do their business in (RCB Fashions) and a tree fell over the roof next door, took out power lines and landed on their driveway. I hope the landlord is timely in removal and repairs, as well as the electric company. No electric, no work, no paycheck. Their home is without electric also. But they are safe. DD and her family came about midnight last night. They had just moved into a 5th wheel on a rented lot in a sparsely populated area and the transmission boxes literally exploded. No electric for some time. Their home shook pretty heavily so they decided to bail to our house. At least they are safe. I pray for all that have lost their property and for those lives lost, also.
In pockets for all your scans and needs.
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@snow-drop thank you for thinking of me! Things here are ups and downs, today and last night are tough lymphadema days with a really stiff leg and hip that make it really uncomfortable to get comfortable or sleep. Im wrapped to the hilt and that will help but ugh its awful difficult to sit or lay down or do much of anything without repositioning every 10 seconds. However, yes, I do think Enhertu is working, my chest tumor is way way down in size all of a sudden so Im not even sure if the rads mapping they did last week is viable anymore. And that would mean the hip is going down too I hope! My parents are visiting for a month and mom is staying with me now so helping out a bit. Dad is kind of hopeless at this other than cooking!
I hope you get answers and a new plan soon for your liver though, what a bummer. Anything you can do to take your mind off things?
Mel - thank you for the new Theo photo, it always puts such a smile on my face
@tanya_djamila take care of your family - what a shock! But you are always so good about accepting what is in life and going with the punches. Glad you are inland and safe!
Mom is sharing photos from friends and family with second homes down in Anna Maria Island area and yeah, wow it looks bad. She is supposed to be driving down my aunt and uncle next month when she gets back from London but well… see what happens.
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My goodness that hurricane was something else, watching a guy sitting in a kayak in his house, so crazy, houses floating down the street too and finally a person paddling around on a mattress. Hope nobody here was affected or received little damage if they were.
Today is rainy out. Started some laundry, decided to finally tackle the big blue fleecy blanket, did do some hand washing in the portable wash tub, no motor, no squishing it all in. Then I did agitate to get rid of any cat fur that might have come out. I am letting it drip out a bit since it is quite heavy before I put it in the bigger spin dryer. Will wring it out as I walk by. I have not attempted this since I used to use the tub to wash stuff but easier for me to use the little tub and hand wash for about a minute each section by section. Once spun, will put in my dryer, does not take long after spinning it. I will say how amazingly heavy it is. For the rest of the laundry, planning to use the smaller washer and or the laundry salad spinner, unsure yet. Already got it in the spinner. Have to save money, bit of a crackly sound as of late in the panda spinner and I won't be without that. As long as it works, will use for larger items. The big blanket is in the dryer with a dryer sheet at present, might as well wash all the bedding. The other blanket that is too big will be done later, really no problem. Could set up my drying rack that uses a tent and hot air to assist in the drying work as well, maybe later. Edited The big fleecy blanket works well for the handwash and spin in the bigger dryer.
I did try the extension cord for the hand vac but it still only runs a couple of seconds so purchased a new hand vac and put on my own payment plan, not expensive but it is needed. Cordless is best for me, when I have time, will take the stick corded vacuum and remove the handle and everything and keep by the poop box. Leave the cordless vacuum for everywhere else it is used.
Edited Weird start to day, put 1/4 cup of quinoa with a couple tsp of chia seeds, got them simmering on a low heat. I am honestly not sure what I want to do with them, might just eat the serving myself and add seasoning to them, I will see. Beyond that, need to get bean meals thought about, not sure yet I did add way too much water so drained it, put back in pan with a lid and hopefully it evaporates more. If not, will place in fry pan and heat up in oven. Don't want to eat mush. I did let the quinoa and chia seeds sit in the pot with a lid for a long time, after that, it was soft but perfect. Seasoned with sour cream and onion and taco seasonings and some sour cream, mixed together, quite a creamy mix after and I must say, filling but really good. Soaking dishes for now.
I hope everyone has a good day, and in pockets with support and love for everyone who needs it. In my own to keep up with finishing the bed today, once I have eaten, I will set up the heated rack to put blankets and sheets on so I do not need to use my own dryer as much, mostly a fluff and fur removal cycle. I am quite determined to get this stuff done.
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Me again, got super hungry again, made a box of Kraft dinner to use up some of the milk, added a few beans and bacon as I stirred in the cheese sauce, milk and butter. Only other seasoning will be salt and using ketchup. Will be eating as much as possible and put any leftovers in a container. Realizing I can also add the cheese sauce to other pan cookings and save the pasta and use it differently.
Ate probably 60 percent of the box, did have beans and bacon. Put rest in the fridge and later on, I can probably precook and chop an egg to put on top and heat them similar to when I put stuff on top of the frozen meals. Should be good anyway. I will say it turned out perfectly for me.
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Sometimes there is nothing more comforting than plowing through a box of hot Kraft dinner, Mara!
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Irish Glad to hear your all of your family is safe! What a terrible hurricane, so much destruction. Hope your DS is able to get back to business sooner than later.
Mara That mac n cheese combo sounded pretty tasty! I was thinking about all the manual washing of blankets etc you do and you literally get in a workout every day. Love your determination and strength!
Dreary day here but Buster still got his walks in. He is a riot, several times during the walk he loves to randomly drop and roll around on the grass. By the time we made it home he looked as if he had been swimming lol. He is such a crazy playful guy, people passing by in cars get a kick out of it. Glad he makes people smile.
Have a restful night ladies❤️
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Hi all you sweet ladies. @sondraf Gosh I hope your swelling goes away quickly. I have truncal lymphedema and it is painful. I can only imagine what you are dealing with. The diabetic skin lotion works well to do massages if you can on your own. Hard to find lic. lymphedema massage therapists.
Love the Buster tales @cookie54 . That is more than enough to brighten one's day. Don't you feel like your heart could burst when he makes you laugh and treats others to his antics?
@mara51506 I tried a dish of things kinds thrown together, and well I did not have success like you do, so I threw it out and ate tastykake cupcakes and milk. Hey at least the milk is good for me. lol. We need to find a way to add more beans to our meals to get that protein.
Kids still here and that granddaughter is wearing me out. She's 10 and into everything and won't eat anything I prepare. Her Mom and she are vegans and it's hard, as someone mentioned here earlier, to please everyone. So whatever is on the menu, they will just have to add side dishes if it doesn't work for them. There is always canned tuna and frozen veggies, pasta, etc. in the pantry or freezer. We decided to keep veggie lasagna and pizza in freezer. That seems to please as we eat our meat based meals.
Our former residence was in Boone, NC and they are devastated by the flooding. Roads, bridges and homes are gone. People can't evacuate easily if at all. We can't reach anyone to check on them. The phones just ring busy, so towers must be down. DH was a police officer for 18 years in Boone and we loved the community so much. My heart is breaking for all that were lost or affected..
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Irishlove, tastykake cupcakes and milk sound really good. Believe me, I fail at some combos for sure. I am sorry your DGD will not eat what you make but good you keep snacks for them. I personally like the noodles in the kraft dinner so if I need to make something like beefless ground extra cheesy can always add it and use the noodles another way, very cheap as well. I am sorry to hear about the communities affected by the hurricane as well but glad you are safe.
Cookie, the handwashing in the portable tub is a game changer for me and letting it just drip for about 20 mins allows me to put into the larger panda spinner. No way I am going to the laundry and come winter, that large fleece blanket will come in handy.
Sondra, I could not agree more, good news is there are leftovers that I can turn into other stuff as well which is great, add lentils and chopped up eggs. Come out like ground beef. Already planning tomorrow.
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@irishlove lymphadema really is a beast isnt it? Truly an added spot of fun I didn't need on top of everything else. Im hoping if the hip tumor goes down that will help some too. On the plus side I found an incredible, highly trained and licensed lymph massage therapist who comes to the house once a week for 90 minutes to work on my leg. He also does some soft tissue work on my back given I walk wonky with the canes. He's been at this something like 15 years - its his passion and you can really tell. It took a while to find him but thank god for him, its something to look forward to at least (although we take breaks around infusion or radiotherapy times).
I hope you are able to contact your friends soon and everyone is safe - Ive seen the video out of Boone and its incredible the amount of water and mud and debris everywhere. Looks like a beautiful part of the country though.
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At present am doing laundry, litter box duty and other things. I am hungry so was unsure what to have. Decided to take a frozen pizza, put in greased frypan on medium to high heat. Added peppers and some of the kraft dinner on top. Covered with a lid, three or so minutes later, took the lid off and noticed the bottom of the pizza was getting crispy, flipped it over for maybe a minute, once done used my metal spatulas to cut up the pizza and put everything on the plate, not a huge amount of food. Added sour cream and onion dry seasoning and a dollop of sour cream, mixed it all together with a little salt. May I say it was absolutely delicious and faster to cook up the pizza in a covered fry pan. Quite yummy. Later, I am going to look into doing something different with the pot pies and jamaican beef pies as well.
Got my new handvac but it does not have any tools like a crevice tool but that is fine by me, will still be useful anyway. Still have to take apart the old vacuum by the litter box and use it as a handheld to pick stuff up, planning to pick up the litter box and do a thorough vacuum clean, the wall needs it too though the wall was always messy looking. Just take some of the oxyclean spray and spray it and scrub off.
Any way, enough blobbity blob from me, I hope everyone is have a good day, in pockets for those who need me whatever the reason is.
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Currently doing two loads of laundry, one in regular portable washer and one in the wee washer. I did not like the wee washer for a while because it collapsed in on itself but I thought to tie it up with some yarn to the handle on one of the storage areas. Seems to be holding it up for me which is good. Both will sit for 30 minutes after and get rinsed, the wee washer drains in the sink as well, helps consolidate what is being done. Cat spilled a ton of water on the floor so employed sock mops on a wet surface, they actually picked up quite a bit of the mess, I do have a vileda mop but often forget to pull it out. Have not pulled out the new cordless vacuum, it came later last night but will pull it out later, no attachments but a squeegee for wet messes.
I finished up the KD yesterday. Got three meals from one box. The KD and mini pizza done in the frypan were delicious, the regular leftovers were good as well. Looking forward to cooking up the noodles themselves and add taco mix and cheez whiz with a hit of nacho chips, small amounts of each. Not necessarily today as I need to cook up some of the frozen veggies and onions in the pan first in some butter, don't have any oil, let them cool and put some containers in the fridge. I reuse a lot of the sour cream containers as they stay air tight and make good containers for the fridge. Still have some of the Jamaican beef patties as well that I want to get through. New goal for groceries is to only keep them in the storage rack in living room and in my dresser in the bedroom. Still wanting to eat through the pantry and working on the freezer, the fridge is clear of frozen stuff since almost two weeks. A person who could not afford groceries could do well with staying stocked in rice, beans and or lentils and adding seasoning in bit by bit. Youtube has a lot of channels dedicated to cheap but nutritious meal ideas as well and Cheap Meal Ideas on Facebook.
I hope everyone had a good weekend and will have a good day, thinking of those still affected by the hurricane and in pockets for anyone who needs me.
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Mara-Was thinking about you this weekend as I got about 8 meals out of a $4.99 Costco chicken. I like dark meat so I had two dinners with the thigh/leg pieces and steamed broccoli. I saved the bones. Then I had one meal with cold white meat and took the rest off of the carcass. I simmered the bones/skin, etc in water with salt for 2-3 hours, sauteed onions, carrots and celery. Took the bones out of the broth, added the vegetables and simmered another hour. Then I added the chicken I removed and noodles, red and black pepper. The soup is delicious. I've had two meals of a hearty soup and have at least 3 more left. Pretty good for one inexpensive rotisserie chicken!
Thinking of Carol-I was surprised at her decision because I thought she was going to give Xeloda a try. Hope she is at peace and comfortable wherever she is. Best wishes for all who are fighting progression and those who are stable. Hope no one here has been too badly affected by Helene.
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I am thinking about all those affected by this hurricane. Hoping for safety and improvement for anyone who was caught in this beast of a storm. I’ve been having my own internal storm. I e had so much loss already this year and I’m about to experience more very soon. My sweet friend is holding on. I spoke with her DH & Dd and it melts my heart , you can feel the sadness from over texts. It’s that palpable. She’s not coherent anymore and is still fighting her heart out. I knew the last time we spoke on the phone would be our last , and it was. She doesn’t want to leave her sweet family who she is dearly close with. My heart is breaking , because this loss is somehow different for me . Deeper more sensitive for me. She and I had such a bond that I have never known in my life. It’s something so special and at the time was so unexpected, but so very welcomed, and at the time so needed. We took over 8 years to build this bond that would turn into the best friendship I have ever known. She was my go to , I was hers. We understood everything. We’d cry together, laugh , talk about the kids , dh’s. Everything. She knew my family and I knew hers. I cannot stop crying and feeling with this upcoming loss. I don’t want to loose my friend. I need her. She’s my battle partner. It was a meaningful deep friendship that went beyond a regular friendship, because it was life or death surrounding us together. We’d always say we would go together. I wouldn’t trade this time with her for anything. I waited for her and never knew I was waiting. Now I’ll be alone again and I am because I’m missing her as I type. There will be no miracle this time. This loss pulls me into the depths of grief again. I sink lower each quarter of this year. I know I couldn’t change the cancer. But I just don’t understand why it had to choose the good ones. The good people. I don’t know how I am going to be ok with this going to happen. A chunk of me will be gone with her. The chunk that helped me everyday with this illness and she never knew how much she helped me. She knew I loved her, her DH knows it too. Life is hard . Death is just so final. It’s that part I can’t accept. I don’t want her to go. I just don’t. I’ve gotten terrible things with this cancer, but this cancer brought me the most beautiful friend one could ever ask for. I thank her so much. For everything.
Carol is also in my thoughts. …..
haven’t seen Mae. She doing good?
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