My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mel - I’m so very sorry - those seem like such hollow words given the soul rocking grief you are feeling. Having that kind of special friendship is a once in a lifetime experience. May you find comfort and peace as you sift through your memories of that friendship. And yes, why does cancer have to choose the good ones. If I was in charge, it would go to all the nasty people who prowl the earth!
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Mel My heart is breaking for you as you are losing such a precious friend and beautiful friendship. There is nothing than can or will ever replace the bond you had. You were joined together for a reason and you were able to be her rock as she was yours. I know she and her family will be forever grateful to you for all your support.
Yes, I don't understand why each of us has been dealt this hand in life and the evil people still roam around causing unnecessary grief to families. I guess that is one of the big mysteries in life that will be explained one day. For now know that we are ALL here for you and will help carry you through the difficult times ahead.Anytime you want a shoulder to cry,grieve, bitch etc we will ALWAYS listen.
Sending love support and a giant comforting hug.❣️
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Chicagoan, you have made me hungry at this late hour. That sounds really good and love all the food options you got out of that. You give me a lot of ideas although I have to eat my existing stock before expanding. I also think about Carol as well, I miss her and also hoping she is comfortable.
Mel, I am hugging right now, I hope you can feel it. I can empathize with the pain of losing a dear friend and her fighting to hold on. I am glad you got to talk to her, even by phone. That will stay in your memory. I empathize with her family and other friends too. Hard situation to deal with for all. In your pocket as well sending strength.
I do hope Mae is OK.
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Oh Mel - I cried when I read your post, and I just have so much sympathy for you and your friend's family. My old bestie from childhood has stage 4 lung cancer and I've told her before that sometimes I think we should "go together". We used to love picking blackberries together down near a beach where we grew up, and I've told her before that sometimes I think we should just go curl up in the blackberry patch together (don't know if it's even still there) and go like that, with the sounds of Puget Sound waves and fog horns nearby. Then I think how I am alone these days, but she still has her husband and adult children, and how I'd be stealing her from them if we did the blackberry patch thing. My point is that I think I basically understand the bond that you have with your friend and really feel for you both. Sending warm thoughts and many, many hugs.
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Post above was supposed to be posted last night.
I had a nice sleep, purchased a real sleep mask, not a dollar store variety, what a difference it made, was total blackout and comfortable, adjustable strap as well.
Doing the usual chores, got to get serious about the recycling though, goes out tomorrow night, prefer to have it done before needed. Redoing laundry due to forgetting to finish it last night. Shorter cycle though. No wee washer today though, just straight up laundry. Dryer is already going.
My meal plan has me thinking about making up a crustless pizza possibly. I want to get pepperoni in the future and just put the toppings of a pizza in the frypan, thinking peppers, cheez whiz, possibly get green chopped olives and mix in some beans. I would have to get those items next time I buy groceries. I also want frozen vegetables though I may wind up chopping them up. No room in the freezer yet, some would have to go in the fridge as freezer is still quite full but also shuts without having tape and fridge magnets holding it closed. I did plot out a smaller freezer BUT the living room would become too narrow as the depth of said freezer would be very wide and liking the way the room is now, lot of stuff but easy to walk through. I may make a breakfast type meal by scrambling eggs, bacon, the potato things and beefless ground. Start a fry first with peppers, onions and beefless ground and if not using a scrambled egg, do a chop mix with croutons and dump it in with the the peppers and onions, I will see what happens. I don't mind if I get leftovers out of it either.
Anyway, hoping all have a good day, thinking of Mae and anyone affected by the Hurricane, and our dear Mel, in pockets for all who need me and my own to get chores done properly. Stop starting one and getting busy with other stuff. Bad habit, going to get rid of it.
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Have to add, made potato, two eggs and bacon, put all in the magic bullet. While I worked on those, heated up frypan with a light spray of cooking spray and decided on the spot to add a bit of garlic spread and some butter as well, heated the pan to high and stirred it all, took probably two minutes for all. Stirred whole time so nothing burned, because of the butter and garlic in pan, did not need to bind with anything, just scooped out on a plate and lightly salted. The cubed potatoes were not hashbrown like but just regular potatoes, that was fine with me. Beans will wait until later. Also have to say, all the garlic and butter could make plain eggs good to go in a tortilla. Have not got rid of them yet.
Another thing I have been mulling over is plugging a heater fan in, not a block heater but one with a fan and to see how long it would take stuff to dry, no clothes can meet the heater so no risk. I just want to see how that could work and allow a no heat fluff in the dryer. Just a thought. My mind is always coming up with stuff to do.
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Buster sending doggy love today to all🩷🐾
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I’m here and I’m ok. I’m dealing with the question of new brain mets or not, hopefully the advanced MRI in a couple weeks will have answers and I’m far from any hurricane or weather issues. Friends from Louisiana are coming for a few days, so we’re trying to tidy up. Can’t wait for the day when the cabin is finished, the chaos of living in a construction site is beyond challenging.
Thinking of everyone and wishing the best for those facing difficult circumstances.
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Cookie, buster looks quite sweet.
Mae, I am glad to hear from you as well and in pocket for MRI, tidying up as well. Cabin does sound like a peaceful place to be.
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Cookie - Love that Buster! He brightens our days in addition to yours. Thanks so much for sharing him with us.
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@cookie54, Buster is so huggable and I think he is fully aware that he is gorgeous.
@micmel, while a virtual hug will not erase your sorrow and loss, I am sending you one. Just as your friend was a great support to you - so too, are you to her, particularly now, as hard as it is. You are a true friend and that takes courage and love. 💔
@illimae, in your pocket while you sort out the mets issue.
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Hi All, If you feel inclined, please chime in with what you want people to know about Breast Cancer Awareness Month, from your perspective of someone with MBC. We need to hear all perspectives to share out!
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Well, today I slept almost 9 hours, I purchased a new blackout sleep mask which really does what it says. Claims you sleep more and I have slept more. Today is looking like laundry, getting the recycling ready, my corner of recycling is quite large. That is no problem, will be busting out new hand held vacuum and breaking down the other vacuum for the litter box into a handheld as well. I am glad I went with the lightweight type of litter, makes everything easier for disposing and scooping it. Garbage will be much lighter thankfully.
Going shopping with DB and SIL. I had called to offer them the litter I do not use anymore and SIL brought up shopping which is handy as I truly want pepperoni and green onions and possibly need some cheese as well. Want to make the pizza without a crust and see how many mini pizzas are left. Also need butter and more milk. Will be good, making a written list.
Been busy with the recycling, huge pile of stuff which I guess is good, light to carry and gets a lot out of here. Putting out half an hour early too, I like to pick my spot.
Food I think will involve the scrambled up eggs and bacon, opening a jar of lentils to add in and see what other things I would like to add. I don't mind if I cannot finish it all because I can use it at supper. Cooking spray, butter and spreadable garlic as well, makes all ingredients taste really good.
I hope all have a good day, in pockets for anyone who needs me and for good results on upcoming tests as well. In pocket for myself to get stuff done.
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Cooking possible fail, I was going to do two eggs and bacon in the magic bullet and thought about adding milk but I added too much. Already greased pan and added cheez whiz and spreadable garlic, I decided to try adding some taco seasoning and beefless ground to save it. Will post after I try it If it does not taste good, not sure what I will do. Got it sitting on the burner, no heat, just with a lid on the pan.
I did save it from the excess milk in it. I added the beefless ground, package of taco seasoning and a bunch of sour cream seasoning. It did not need any binding agent and there are leftovers. I will be eating again this evening but include some tortilla chips this time. I really enjoyed this, pretty spicy but no matter.
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Mara - Did you get your sleep mask on Amazon? I look at them from time to time and think about getting one, since I've heard so many good things about how well they block the light. I'm in the city, so even at night I have a lot of light around me. I'm really wondering if a sleep mask isn't the answer. Glad to hear that you got good results.
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Mara-If you can, please post the sleep mask that you bought. I need to get a new one but I have a big head (probably in more ways than one😄) and it's hard to find one that is comfortable.
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Re benefits that a sleep mask might offer, here are these articles about light exposure and disrupted sleep from Foodforbreastcancer (oldest first):
https://foodforbreastcancer.com/news/disrupted-sleep-may-be-associated-with-worse-breast-cancer-survival
https://foodforbreastcancer.com/news/sleeping-short-hours-or-in-the-presence-of-light-linked-to-bc-risk
https://foodforbreastcancer.com/news/exposure-to-blue-outdoor-light-at-night-increases-breast-cancer-risk
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Threetree, yes I did get the sleep mask on Amazon. I will link both Amazon.ca and .com. Same brand name. Almost same price as well. It really does black everything out and is very comfortable to adjust as well so no tight feeling or anything.
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0BXKZH8SN?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title&th=1
I did go shopping with DB lastnight, he hurt his finger badly at his job and got stitches but has to get the tendon looked at today, if he needs surgery, he won't be able to drive for a bit, he is also concerned how they bandage it too. I did get my pepperoni and sliced olives along with milk and eggs, few other things as well. The Walmart order was pricey but the Costco milk and eggs were only 13.00. Planning to do egg meals up and add peppers, pepperoni and onions, make it taste like pizza. Just in the frypan as well. Did not buy any mini pizza as I am unsure how much the freezer still has. Overall spent 42.00 but had 30.00 from boosted earnings activities I do. No need for a big shop, no additions to the freezer. Between eggs and pizza mixtures, going to get serious about using up the freezer contents and only keeping a certain number of them. Find a new way to organize into section, take stuff out of huge bags and put into other containers so not as much space is used up.
Edited, bought some Kraft dinner from Amazon, had to get 7 boxes for a minimum which was 12.53 BUT Kraft Dinner supplies me with cheese powder which can be used in other dishes, the pasta can boost any meal as well or become another meal. I can think of many things to do with that so looking forward to eating Kraft dinner all sorts of ways and having lots of cheese powder to season up with other things.
It is a nice day here, may actually put some sunscreen on and start taking walks, I will see how today looks between chores and cooking ahead.
I hope everyone has a good day, in pockets for all who need me and that is about it.
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Mara - Thanks very much for posting the links. I'm going to look at them, the reviews, etc. and take this issue up again. I often think I want one, but then get confused and drop the idea when I see all the different ones available, and can't make a choice.
Enjoy your walks. I've been taking a lot of them lately and am just loving it.
Faslodex shots later today. Never a pleasant experience. Oftentimes go to lunch with my friend who drives me afterward, but she can't got to lunch as she is needing to prepare for a colonoscopy, so can't look forward to that. Oh well, at least I'm still here.
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Can you order up a good lunch and enjoy anyway? Treat yourself if you can. As far as the other sleep masks the thing I like about these are that when you close your eyes, it does not feel like it is squishing you. Anyway good luck today.
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Thanks for posting the link Mara. I put one in my Amazon Cart!
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Thanks Mara. Actually, I live in a small business district that has a few places to eat. After my friend drops me off back here at home, I can take myself out if I really want to - or get take out. I've got Thai, Mexican, Panda Express, and a brewery with good old standard burger, soup, and salad sort of places to choose from. I'll figure something out. I feel bad for my friend, but next time we can do our usual thing.
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I did the pizza sort of vibe, put in green olives, shredded cheese, diced onions, peppers and two eggs along with the pepperoni. Cooked on high heat initially with cooking spray and butter, got it covered no heat now to finish up. Not sure if it will need any seasoning as of now beyond a bit of salt. Some of the olive juice got in but am not worried about that. Will post in a bit to say if it was good or not.
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Hi ya ladies. Reading through all goings on here. I love the sweet pooch pictures of Buster & Theo. Animals are such a blessing. I’ve been feeling kind of crappy with bone pain in my spine & ribs. I had my visit with. My onc who is finally back from Israel and his daughter’s wedding. He said he had a wonderful time there. DH & I were so glad to see him home and safe..He said he was keeping up with my latest scans and labs. He’s very happy everything is good and stable, and I look great. He said I’m going to live to my nineties (Yeah right). I. Told him my grandmother lived to be 92. She was never sick and smoked Camel cigarettes up until then😂He reminded me I’m due for my next scans the end of this month. I hate going, I get anxious every time.
That was some terrible weather passing through. I’m so concerned about everyone down in NC. It’s just beyond horrific the. Stories I Keep hearing. I’m praying 🙏 for those suffering through the damage, and all those brave Vets going down there to bring food and supplies and help the victims.
@irishlove thank you so much for your heartfelt words to me about losing my budgie. You are so kind and Upbuilding. 🩵
Here she is. I would put her cage on my bed and we’d watch TV together👇
And her. She is 💤 She always lady down to sleep🥰
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Shanagirl, your budgie would have been a precious feathered family member, my condolences on her loss for you. My MO sees me going on for many years too. I really cannot imagine that but we will see.
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Mara - Turns out I was able to have lunch with my friend after all. She said according to what she is supposed to do/eat until her procedure, she was allowed a bit more regular food still, so we went for Mexican. It was nice to take a little time out and not have to come directly back here after those shots. Was good to get lunch out too, because we had an emergency water shut off this morning, due to a leaky pipe in the building, and it didn't come back on until mid-afternoon.
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Hi all, hope everyone had a good day filled with some small pleasure. I keep thinking of small Joys many times is the ticket.
Shanagirl - so sorry for your loss. Big hugs! And I loved your post about reclaiming your intimate life with your DH. That was so beautiful and such a life affirming process to get there. Talk about small joys many times …You go girl!
Mel - loved Theos face, such a cute smile. Big hugs for you as you process the sadness of your friends passing. Never an easy process to live and witness. Living well and dying well is a place of practice.
Mara - I bought the sleep mask, thank you for the link, I’m so excited ! I kept meaning to buy one. I sometimes put the covers over my head to block the light lol .. time for an upgrade. Love reading about your cooking. I don’t eat cheese, but I’m starting to dream about pizza. There is a vegan pizzeria in my neighborhood, I’ll have to try. I made a cornbread and tofu vegie stew this week. Omg the cornbread was amazing. The recipe called for all purpose flour but I used whole wheat flour, cornmeal of course, almond milk, with coconut sugar from Nora Cooks blog. It was yummy. I love finding recipes on her site, they are so good and easy to make.
For the fury side , Here is Igor an ASPCA rescue we’ve had for 6 years. My son gave him to us when he moved in with his fiancé, and he fast became a loving snuggly puss who sleeps on the couch with one back paw touching my knee while I meditate.
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rlschaller, glad you got the mask, it is amazing to black things out, that is for sure and very comfortable. I am glad to hear about all the stuff you made, cornbread sounds good to me as well. I am so glad you enjoyed it so much. Love your furry family member, tuxedo cats hold a special place in my heart.
Threetree, glad that you were able to have lunch with your friend as well and glad your water is back on.
Not sure what I am doing today. I do have a heavily soiled laundry after cleaning the house up so need to take care of that. It is soaking now, may do another short wash just to be sure. Other than that, usual chores around the house.
Foodwise, I am not sure what I want, thinking I will make some mexican rice and some KD pasta as well and keep in the fridge, makes it easier to combine with other stuff and seasonings and easier to keep up with a more sensible meal end of day. I will see.
I am hoping everyone has a good day and upcoming weekend and am in everyone's pocket as well.
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Due to hunger, keeping breakfast simple, taking a frozen fettucine alfredo, add 1 egg and lentils in, microwave for 4 mins, semi nutritious.
Finally unboxed new hand vac that does wet and dry messes which is good, poor Tigger upchucked a couple of times today. The hand vac picked it all up, just dumped into the toilet and washed out in sink, instead of a filter it has a sponge which is interesting. I like that it does wet and dry and just a sponge, easy to take apart and clean out which is good. I have worried for Tigger so gave some wet food and taking it easy on the amount I give him.
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@micmel, my thoughts are with you today as I saw on the memoriam thread that your very dear friend has passed. Words cannot convey enough so I will have to settle with a gentle and long virtual hug from Australia.
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