My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Claudia~I am so sorry for your close friends. It sucks when something happens you have no control over. Falling is not good. That worries me. I know I am very clumsy, almost fell a few times yesterday. I don't watch my feet and maybe I should be. I also lifted a lot of boxes.
I used to work out daily for 1.5 hours five days a week. Including running six to eight miles daily. I was strong as an ox. Very toned and very fit. It's the reason, I was told and allowed to have my liver resection. Major surgery with 54 staples. And at the same time. Lymph node removal. Ever one of them in my left arm. And a mastectomy. They told me I would be in intensive care for a week. I woke up in a regular room on the cancer floor. They were very pleased, because I only have one functioning lung. I am going to start walking again. It seems like you're incredibly busy. In my mind activity is activity, including sweating bullets in the basement!! It looks so great. My house is officially clean!! (Poltergeist nod) I'm thrilled! So glad to see you. Missed you and was hoping all is ok. Have a great lunch with DH. I am so envious you're going away! But you deserve it!
Mae~ loving that pic!! I want to hug him!!! He looks like a little person!! Muwah!! Sounds delicious tonight. I also love criminal minds. Was pissed when they framed reed. Not ok!! I really also like all the characters again. Paget Brewster has always been my favorite though. Love ncis also!! I'm a bachelor fan totally! Survivor and big brother are my favorite shows. Mae have you ever seen Big little Lies ??? Omg omg. If you haven't. Please please watch it. It's fabulous!! Serious good watch. Very well done. And excellent casting. Wow! Have blast tonight !
Lynn~ My phrase with the marrying. Anymore. Women work. More. So they know divorce is expensive. And they also want to keep their hard earned money. I wouldn't not want to marry. But I am also old fashioned with that. I agree with Mae. I couldn't marry someone I didn't know if after a month, I couldn't tolerate them. That would be awful. I think making sure you're compatible is very important, especially since most couples have to have two incomes these days. Everything is so damn expensive!! Have a great Sunday. I am on my off week with ibrance so I am hoping for a good one. Any other month I would be having my shot. Of XGeva. And my bloodwork. But doc says not anymore. Only in three months. I'll take it. And I always hated how that shot made me feel. I understand the feeling weird for a few days after. Much love ~M~
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Morning all..
Mich Nice job on your basement, we moved a last year so luckily it isn't to messy around here...although there are some things still not unpacked.
Claudia-I feel terrible for all of those who lost everything thereMae- I too am looking forward to shows coming back, love the Middle, Goldburgs, Speachless, and I do some reality shows...
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Good afternoon Ladies~I just carried the trash upstairs into the garage ready to To go to the curb. I am tired today. But feel great it's almost perfect. We have to figure out some shelving to keep things off the ground! But it's been a very productive week! I can't wait to sit my rear end down ans watching some more Game of Thrones and then sleep. I hate how much I need or even enjoy sleeping. I know it's good for our bodies. But after while I have to do something.
What are the kids up too Keetmom !? Is this the second weekend off for them this school year? I can't believe the fundraisers are already coming out. Yankee candle. Most of those are pretty expensive. But I do it for my DSS. Because I love him. Have a good rest of your day. I'm watching American pickers for a little while ! Much love ~M~
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Football is on here, Packers don't play until tonight,
Kids are enjoying just being lazy, we all are...
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Keetmom~I ended up falling asleep after DH left for the week, all my basement cleaning kicked my rear end. I don't even know how the eagles did. My DS got his talking to. We are hoping this is the beginning of his transition into being more of a man. Wish me luck !!! Good night rest well. Much love ~M~
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....If he doesn't do what he's supposed to do, this is what I'll do to him!! Lol. Mae ~ hope your night with friends was good. Soon American horror will be on. I like Sarah Paulson. But she's a loon in this one. Lol hugs ~M~
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Chicago Haven't seen you in a few. Hope all is ok with you and yours. I wanted to try to hike this weekend, but it was awfully humid in the northeast. I'm waiting for the fall temps they keep taking about. Instead I am one step away from being completely done in the basement. I bet the trash men wont be happy third trash day in a row jam packed!! Hugs to you! Hope you had a good weekend! Hugs
Scwilly~ hope all is ok with you. How are your feet?? any better with the ointment? I hope they aren't as sore as last week! Thinking of you guys.
Much love to all. Maybe we will have an appearance from our girl Nan this week. Fingers crossed. She's been so busy with the wedding, she must be worn out!
Mae ~ I have to watch my episode of American horror story. I wondered did they actually play the first season on television ? With all those sexual cituations ? In television and the nudity with lady GA GA. That was some hard core stuff, I haven't seen her In this season. I wonder if she isn't doing it anymore. I had heard Lena Dunham would be joining the cast this season. I only saw lady Gaga three or four times in the Roanoke season. She was the mother. But very limited compared to the prior season with the hotel cortez, that season was awesome ! The jury is still out on this one!! What do you think ?? Hugs to biggie boy! Much love. ~M~
Claudia~you ok after your fall sweetheart? Love you worried about that fall. Sometimes pain is deffered, keep an eye on that !
Keetmom~ how did your packers do? Still haven't seen how the eagles did. Hugs to the girls !
~M~
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Packers lost...I went to bed....
Doing sheets here today..Love crawling into fresh sheets..would love to have it everynight but that would be a lot of work, Not much on here today just getting into normal school stuff..Mich- HOpe your son steps up
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Micmel, the 1st season of American Horror was awesome (the best IMO) and while there were sexual situations, there may have been less nudity due to the fetish style rubber bodysuit worn by the young male lead. So far, I'm enjoying this one.
Starting my last week of rads, yay!
I'm going to be on the edge of my seat Wednesday
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Mae~lmao. I just sent that to my DD who watches it with me every week! It is one of our favorite shows. She is cracking up lol. That's awesome. Thanks for the laugh. I have to catch up on last nights American horror. I tried to get to sleep early, but it never works with Jon snow and Game of thrones, I don't want that to be over, I am hooked. I usually watch it the day after, so I have something to watch! Glad you're enjoying this season, I do always like the show, the scenes with Lady Gaga were very nude like and raw, And some pretty heavy scenes. I didn't know that FX showed nudity. I guess I never thought of it until now. Congrats to you on your last week of radiation. That's awesome ! You're a trooper. For sure ! Hope your dinner with friends was a good time.
Keetmom~ I hope he steps up soon also. If he doesn't, I don't think he's going to like the outcome very much at all. I am not In the business of having grown children around, who won't chip in and help and do their parts in the house, seems really simple. Do chores pay this amount monthly. Or else. It won't be working out too good for you. In the end he'll end up working more loosing his chance at school, and paying triple what he does now. It's a very difficult topic for me. Because I love him. But I also cannot enable him. Ya know ? Hugs to the girls and you.
Much love ~M~
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I think I've lost my mind. Lol all this time I had thought that American horror was on Sunday nights. Wasn't it on last year on Sundays ? Since I never watch them that immediate day I never know when it's on, now I am realizing that they moved it to Tuesday's. Ok I'm firmly back on earth. Lol duh! ~M~. Anyone else regularly loose their minds ? Chemo brain?
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I am astonished at how one second things can change. I last night was texting with my closest brother. Like we do all the time. This morning like maybe 15 mins ago my SIL calls and says he has had a heart attack this morning. And is in ICU. I'm sitting here shocked and so filled with worry. He lives in Arizona, so far from me. I can't even see him. Makes me so mad. I am financially and physically not able to travel. I feel like a wave has hit me and left me here in its wake. I have no words. He's only 57. way to young for this to be happening, just like we said about me. 47 way to young for this to be happening. I am in such shock. I hope he can pull this out of his hat and be ok. They are talking pacemaker now. Which makes me feel a little better. He made it through and is being watched close! I still feel like it's A dream. So upset. 😰😭💔
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Michael, I am sorry to hear the news about your brother. I know it is upsetting, but try to focus on the fact that the doctors and nurses in ICU are well-trained to care for people who experience a medical crisis like your brother's. It is good news that they are considering a pacemaker. I know that it is painful to be unable to see him right now, but once he is out of ICU and stabilized, you can call him. You will feel better once you hear his voice. He knows you are thinking about him. I am praying for his quick recovery.
Hugs and prayers, Lynne
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Micmel- so sorry to hear about your brother. Maybe you can Skype call (or other similar technology) when he gets out of ICU. Sounds like he is in good hands.
It has been a weird year of health issues for people I know, but I ran into a friend who is a cardiologist who said I wish more people were having heart disease instead of cancer- we can fix that more often!
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NKB~ that's a good point about the cancer. He apparently was conscious which is a good thing. A pacemaker would make everyone feel better, that way he can be monitored daily. Just so sudden. We were texting last night and he told me he felt badly. Thought it was the flu. That is some scary stuff. They have said it can mimic the flu. Then the pains come, his wife said it came on quickly. It has been a crazy two years for us with health issues. My mother fell. This happened to me. Now my brother.
Lynne~I hate being far apart from him. It drives me crazy. This year has sucked out loud. Right along with the last two years. I talked to his wife and she told him that I loved him and I heard him speak back that he loves me too. I am just feeling The helpless feelings we get when we are helpless! Thank you both for the kind words. It meansa lot. You're all such lovely women, i hope your day Is a good one!
Much love ~M~
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.......I am not much of a big prayer. I do believe in positive thoughts and good thoughts of mind. But when something like this happens....and you don't understand....you're left all confused....needing a little hand....i am choosing to believe that things will be alright....because those are the thoughts....that get me through the nights.....for my brother!!! I Iove you!! ~M~0 -
Micmel-So sorry to hear about your brother. Hoping they are able to put in the pacemaker and that he has a full recovery. Peace to you and your family.
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Micmel
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Micmel,very sorry to hear about your brother! Thank goodness he got to the hospital where he will be receiving good care. Pacemakers are very effective. Life is certainly a fragile thing and we never know what it will bring to us. It hurts when bad things happen to our loved ones. Please keep us posted. Stay cool... I agree, the humidity was horrendous this weekend and not much better today. I want some nice cool weather!!
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Chicago~thank you very much! We are very close and I am feeling distressed and helpless! He lives too far away, and so des my mother. Both have health issues this year that have shown through. Along with mine. It's upsetting. Thanks so much for the kind words! ~M~
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Mae~Thank you my friend. Very much. Need all the good vibes possible. He sounded so weak 😞💔!
Lynn~thanks so much. It does throw us for a loop when it's our closest people. I'm learning as we get older it seems to happen more and more. Which makes sense. I'm just feeling anxious. Need to be helping and I can't. Sucks. I am like mama bear with my family. Even though I am younger. I am the feisty one. The fighter. The honestly brutal one. But the most loyal as well! My family means the world. As we all know. And feel about our families of course. But some of my family need some psychiatric help! My brother isn't One of them ! He is one of the good guys! Thanks again !! So much!!
Much love ~M~
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So sorry to hear about your brother Micmel. Praying he makes a full recovery. Hugs!
Lynne
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Lynne~Thank you very much for reaching out. I often think that having cancer changes everyone's lives. For the family. But IMO I believe that I can spend time now telling everyone how very important they are to me, but when something like that happens, you hear that phrase your life flashes before you, no one knows for sure what the days bring. It just scared me, because usually the ones that come out of no where are the worst because, you stop And immediately think of the last thing you said or the last time you talked. Sometimes you don't always get to say goodbye, I Am hoping he is strong enough to get well and makes changes to his life to prevent it from happening again. Nice to see you here. Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.
Much love ~M~
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Micmel- You hit the nail on the head about making sure that your loved ones know they are loved and you have their backs. You are their safety net should they need one. I feel so sad to hear people say they didn't know DH, or mom or someone else loved them! When a friend's DH told me how much he adored her-but, never told her!!
Now I am much more aware to offer concrete help, (I can give you a ride to chemo, I can buy take-out food, pick your kids up at school etc) not just say call me if you need anything. When DH wasn't available for one of my chemos, I thought of the two people who had specifically said they would take me if I needed. I send more cards, little gifts if I know it would be fun to receive. Make an effort to be kinder, to offer help, reassure.
But, your brother's experience is what I meant by we are all living scan to scan metaphorically.
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I remember when my Dad had his heart attack, he told me life was very fleeting! It certainly is! I am just so thankful that he is ok!! Still worried, about him. Just hoping the next 24!to 48 goes smoothly. Much love ~M~
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Was lucky enough to receive a pretty coherent text from my brother saying , since the blockage was removed, he felt better but was exhausted and they said the next 24 to 48 hours are the most important, hopefully it won't happen again. This has been a day full of emotion. I am wiped out, I noticed some aches and pains today in my back. Sure hope it's from all the lifting I have been doing! With cleaning my basement and bringing up 35 bags of trash! ItDoes feel muscular! Everyone have a great night! Much love ~M~
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Good morning Ladies~ hope everyone slept well. I didn't sleep too great. Still worrying and hoping all remains stable over night for my brother. Getting older and seeing people you love deteriorate in front of your eyes right along side with you. Just in different ways. Is so hard. I am estranged from a large portion of my family. Like they say. You can't choose your blood. My father and I used to be close. Until his wife, my step monster got her claws out and tried to tell me how to live in my marriage before the divorce. So I told her off in so many words and I haven't spoken with her since. Flash forward 14 years. My dad is old and feeble, he doesn't even care about living. He's a miserable old man now, alone while the monster spends all the money, his saved money, on trips every month, while his health isn't good at all. This woman had leukemia, almost met her maker, had chemo, the entire gammot of treatments. Just like me. Wouldn't you think she would feel some sort of sadness and understanding?Uh nope! Sometimes family is the worst offenders, they sure do take advantage of things, if they don't really acknowledge what's going on. Like my son, who had the talk, but still has yet To walk the walk! Much love ~M~
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Micmel, I totally get it about the family issues. My husband had always had a strained relationship with his parents. They were users and he couldn't see it, gave them money, time, house repairs, etc. they came to him for everything and treated me like shit. It wasn't until I got Cancer in 2008 that he finally had his eyes opened. They totally ignored my illness, surgery, etc. never asked about me or even asked him how he was coping. He finally cut all ties with them and peace came into our life. His mother passed away a couple of years ago, we read about it in the paper. He did not attend the funeral, on that day we went and adopted ours rescue cats. He said he felt like he wanted to do a good deed on that day. Glad your brother is coming along. He will be weak and tired for some time and have to slowly build his strength back up. I so remember my dad needing 2 of us to get him out of the carwhen he came home after his heart attack .
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Lynn~ yes indeed it's a tangled web the family can weave. It's odd because before my DH #2, I never imagine not having them in my life. But now it's been so long I honestly don't even blink an eye. I speak to my mother and my one brother who just had his attack. The others tried to cry the blues of the sorries after I was diagnosed. Some tears and apologies, but inside they are still the People that chose to behave that way. So I said oh ok. Well I'm not looking for a reunion or anything. Learned that hard lesson. They don't say a leopard doesn't change his spots for nothing. But I am also realizing that, mainly with my son. Since my diagnosis, he's been different. Distant. And I don't know why. It's almost like he doesn't care. It's kinda shocking because he's always been a mommas boy 100%%. Baffling to me honestly. And if I'm honest very hurtful. Makes me very saddened!! I am sorry for the way you have been treated also. I can totally relate to that. My DHs family was actually more upset and worried than my own. (Not mom or bro or even kids, I know that it upsets then but I think they are still in major denial). Much love ~M~
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Had my talk finally with DS, hopefully his new attitude and said understanding of what is expected of him. Three strikes and you're out! I could see him twisting in the wind for two weeks, with no contact with mom. He was feeling uneasy. But tough love sometimes has to happen. Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done.
Mae ~ I somehow missed two episodes of GOT. So I went and watched. Malesandra brought back my Jon Snow!! She is useful for somethings other than always being nude. How scary it was to see her naked as a 100+ year old. Eeeekk. Lol. Hope you're killing your stepping this week. Go girl !! Hugs
Hope everyone is ok, another too warm day for me here. I am so sick of the humid weather, why is it, When summer is officially over, It gets hotter. So weird how that works!!! Much love ~M~
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