My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Micmel, I hope it gets better for me! Mostly tired the first week now. I had a very low dose of steroids for two days after my treatment. I’m not sure how many rounds they will do but I sure it depends if it’s working or not! I so hope this is my ticket. Failed Xeloda and abraxane pretty fast. Abraxane took me down and I almost feel better now on the ac combo. It is early though.
Low of 29 in Iowa tonight, brrrr not ready
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AC brought me to Ned. It's powerful for sure. I remember always making sure I drank all the time water. I would add strawberries and berries of any kind. I had noticed my taste buds struggled a little bit and that helped me tremendously. Eat whatever appeals to you. I hope you feel better each day and I am sending strength and good thoughts that this IS your ticket. Hugs. ~M~
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Skitz, I’ll send you a PM. I started writing here, but it’s a short novel. Pull up a chair, grab some coffee, use the restroom and check your private messages afterwards, lol. I tried to keep it as short as I know how.
Tanya, I do love the pink ribbon gems! As much as Pinktober frustrates me sometimes I do appreciate it, the support, and events. It’s nice to see a tangible movement for BC.
Runor, you made me think of how my brother always says it’s the practice of medicine, they are practicing on you! I trust my doctors and usually go along with what they say, but I have to be my own advocate at the end of the day as well.
Micmel, hi friend
I also get the frustrated feeling of docs. I honestly couldn’t tell you what is going on with my brain scans because how all my docs have described it is too confusing and now I just feel weird for continuing to ask. Maybe I should bring my crayons and have them draw pictures for me at this point, haha. I know it’s also on me to make sure I speak up and make sure I understand. It’s just frustrating sometimes. As for being tired I say listen to your body, but it might be good to push it as well. For me the most frustrating thing is having my body be soooo tired and my mind awake. On AC chemo I felt like I was a prisoner of my own body, but my experience on it I don’t think was the typical one. Last, but not least, that bra! I hope you win. It looks so good.
Hi to everyone
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Tanya, looking good. Love to see the support out there. Just need more awareness of MBC!
Micmel, the bra looks great. How creative you are!!! Hope you win xx
Well, I couldn't wait to try the tens. So tried this morning. It woke those nerves up alright!! I couldn't wait to get it off again. Have to go back to gentle massage by hubby!!
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Good morning ladies
Everyone on the stairs around me was MBC.
I heard others at the breakfast saying that they had beat cancer. It’s always scarey for me to hear that bc cancer is a sneaky slithering snake and boy does it know how to hide and just a formidable enemy.
This was just the regular American cancer society walk. It felt good to make people aware and feel the impact that this disease has on family and friends. The USF sorority served us breakfast and they were smiling attentive kind and young. I pray for all of them the best and I thank all who donated and hopefully the money will help find a cure and ease someone’s journey.
Off to a wedding today with my DH God willing. Gentle hugs to all.
Micmel the bra is fantastic! I’ve never seen one quite like that. You have a good chance to win. For me you’ve won already.
Tanya
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Tanya, great picture! You look beautiful!!! Micmel, great job on the bra, your work is amazing, very precise. Yes it’s cold here today, and the wind is wicked!! We are insulating windows today, one of the joys of living in a house that’s over 100 years old, leaking cracks everywhere.
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Parry~Hello darling. I hope You enjoyed your weekend. I was going to ask you if you enjoyed any crafts or what do you do to keep yourself from going bonkers.?
Minnie~Maybe a physical therapist should evaluate the nerve pain. So you don't have that much of a reaction. Sounds painful.
Tanya~ ty for the compliments on the bra. Only a few minor details and I'm finished. But I'm sure that will take a few days for drying purposes. I guess we'll see how it goes.
Lynnwood~This wind just sucks and I gotta tell you, all of a sudden the fridge turned on outside. When I let the dogs outside it is even clear to them they don't want to stay outside much at all. The bugs have gone, which I'm glad about. Soon the flakes will start
Would you all believe I saw a Christmas commercial! Like no! Yikes!
Much love ~M~
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Getting closer and closer to being finished. The straps are in the back, they are removable. I have to turn it in on Wednesday the latest. I hope I do well!
Love to all. Bundle up on this chilly evening with those you love. Mae? I’m gonna break out my detective skills soon! Miss you friend. Hugs.
~M~
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Hi there, just coming out the other side of being sick/allergies, a few more days and I should be good. Been resting mostly and trying to keep up here. Goodnight all 🙂
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Hi to everyone
Micmel, I do fluid acrylic painting. It’s very therapeutic for me and has helped keep me as sane as I’ll get! They are taking over the house though. I’ve been giving them away to everyone I can convince, lol.
Illimae, fall sick has been going around, but I’m glad to hear you are getting better. Allergies make getting a cold even more fun - boo.
Tanya, there was a huge BC walk today by the zoo. Sadly I had family plans. Looked like a huge turnout! Was today a special BC day? Multiple event across the country on the same day. Maybe since it’s October and there’s limited weekend time to do them.
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Micmel - love those feather boobies! Bird boobies!
No wonder you're tired. Creating uses huge brain power. Great minds need naps! Sleep well and tomorrow, using just your glue gun and some macaroni, build a car!
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Pretty work, Micmel. You should win! parrynd1, pretty colors! I used to do so many crafts and painted in watercolors. Can't really do much of anything now with my useless right hand. Makes me sad.
I'm not feeling chirpy, but I'm doing okay. A bit down. DH's birthday is soon and I asked him what kind of birthday cake he wanted. He said he'd get a bakery cake. This also makes me sad. He does like them (yuck!!!) but I know he's trying to save me the trouble of baking from scratch. We'll see 👀! I might just bake a random cake anyway, so there!! Ha ha.
Waiting for them to call this week with my scan appointments. They usually #%&€ this up and we have a phone fight. I hope not this time. Wish me luck.
Waving hello to all of you.
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Hello gals- back from NC and an a fabulous visit with an amazing lady: my 94 yr old Aunt Wini! She is a force! She has done so much in her life and helped so many; what an inspiration!
Came back and jumped right in to my grandsons' activities. Apple crisp for 40 scouts, soccer game ,etc. The usual whirlwind.
Getting cold now here in Maine, always a shocker at first.
Gutted to hear about Magda, such a strong and special lady. Really, really PO'd at this damnable Ahole of a disease.
Micmel- Va va va voom! The bra! Holy smokes! I LOVE IT! I want to see the entry that beats yours..... Also, amitrypyiline is in the tricyclic antidepressant class. Also known as Trazodone, it is usually prescribed to help people sleep. What time of day do you take it? Could be making you sleepy when you don't wanna be?
Tanya-enjoyed your photos!
Hope you are all feeling peaceful and pain free right now. Much love, Mary Jane
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Preparing apples for the mother lode of apple crisp!0 -
Industrial strength!0 -
Completed!0 -
Scouts pressing cider(grandson in middle)0 -
DH and scouts using our antique cider press0 -
MJHJAN1014, here's my dessert plate, ready for a big serving of apple crisp! It looks so good. I guess those boys gobbled.it up :-)
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Mae~Hello gorgeous, I'm sorry you got hit with the dreaded change of season cold. I'm still trying to keep from getting it back again but who the heck knows. The heat came on a lot last night. It was under almost 30 when i checked this morning. every day it seems harder and harder to keep up with myself. It's very upsetting missing who I was everyday.
Parry~Beautiful! Who wouldn't want something that lovely, that's really beautiful, hang them proudly everywhere!!!
my finger tips argue with me too muddling when i get into the tiny areas, I could have dropped 100 sequins. I'm still finding them everywhere! I have no energy, I'm spent. Creating things does make your mind tired.
Runor ~ Hello lovely. I wanted a nice contrast to the white coloring background and silver to sparkle up under the lights.
I am not in a good head space at all.. yesterday was my DD's 23 birthday and I wasn't even allowed to acknowledge it. It killed me all over again. Everything in my life has changed. I can't even celebrate my First borns birthday even. My body is battling what I call a flesh, life mangling, brain twisting disease that I am stuck Inside this bodypanicking and flailing to get a breath that feels normal. Everyday I wake up feeling like shit. Like I never went to bed at all. My mind never stops racing and is constantly racing with fear, terror, and confusion over who I am now. I didn't choose to become this person. I didn't ask for ANY of this. None of us has. The life we lead now is cruel and really just plain evil. I just don't know how to continue to live feeling this way. I just don't. 😪🤲😔
Much love to you all ~M~
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micmel, why couldn't you observe DD's birthday? Sorry you're down. We'll perk up. I read a comment on another thread, can't remember which that said something like "the only way is through it", and I'm trying to take that advice. I'm only at about half power on my good days, but half my power is still a force.
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Micmel, my heart breaks for you. I don't know what's going on with DD but it's obvious that she loves you & still needs you a lot. I'm wishing YOU a Happy (DD's) Birthday (because, after all, you did all the work to give her that birthday!).
Your sexy bra is amazing & it's a winner whether the judges acknowledge it or not. Do you plan to model it? I always enjoy wearing totally unexpected lingerie (it's like having a secret!).
I pray that you find something that makes you feel better. Don't give up your search for an answer. You are such an uplifting voice on BCO; you deserve to feel as good as you make others feel. Sending hugs & love your way.
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It all goes back to the religion that her and her new husband have chosen to become a part of. They don't acknowledge birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day, thanksgiving.... and others I am sure. All I know is it broke me again. Being alive is so hard. Being a mother Is even harder, loving people as much as a person can Love is serious raw, intense pain that I just can't handle. I don't want everto leave my DH. I love him. More than I even knew what the real feeling felt like. I want to love him everyday, I want to laugh with him. And run with him on the beach like we used to play in the water. I want to love like I have forever care free in a body that can House me and my real life. Not this broken down jallopy body I've turned into. I'm a lost soul. Honestly. I am. The only thing keeping me grounded at this point is the love for my family. That is just plain it. I don't consider living this way a life. Not at all.
Thanks for the kind words on the bra. JKL I won't be modeling. It isn't Halloween quite yet and people don't need added scares early. More like fright night. Lol thanks guys for the uplifting support. It's so important and means so much to me. Much love ~M~
MJH~ welcome back darling. I hope you had a blast you amaze me. I'll have some of the deliciousness too!!! Seeing those pics reminds me of my DSS earning his eagle project. It's so much work. He's a cutie for sure l! Good to see you here, I see you're up and at something else already. You go girl !
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Micmel, sorry you are feeling down. Even if your DD chooses not to celebrate, you can have a little celebration for the day you gave birth to her. Then on a day that is not her birthday, give her a little something, not a birthday gift, but a Mother to Daughter gift, a gift for no reason other than you want to?
MJH great pictures. I would love apple crisps, I just know"
Muddling through, I am with you, just get through, half power or whatever, just get through at your own speed.
Xxx. So tired tonight. Nite all!
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MJH, can I place an order for digiyapple crisps? They look yummy. Good on you putting in all that work! I've never seen so many sliced up apples 🍎
Muddling, Everyone wants to take care of me and not let me do anything. When I take care of them, even if it’s hard and I have to improvise, it makes me feel better. You go girl and bake that scrumptious cake!
Micmel, when I was on AC chemo I felt like a prisoner in my own body. It sounds like you are going through something similar. I'm so sorry to hear you aren't in good spirits. Life throws so much at us and it's ok to just be worn out, pissed, and sad sometimes. I had a full on cry session today hearing these people talk about the day their grandkid was born and love how amazing it was. Life isn't fair and it is most certainly hard. Would you appreciate it the same if everything was easy and went according to plan? I'm not thankful for this disease, and I can't control who gets it. All I can do is choose to think of the good that has come into my life because of it. I see my family in a different more appreciative light. My fiancé and I hold on to the small moments as well as the big. It's shown us what we are living for and for me the biggest answer is my fiancé and family and the future we may have together. I'll be thankful for whatever time we get. I don't know what to say to help get you through this tough time, but I'll always lend an ear to listen and have some long rant about life. It may not feel like it, but it will pass. Good days/weeks and bad ones. Take care sister.
On another note: sometimes I have this crazy thought that this cancer is the price I'm paying for meeting and getting the last 10 years with my fiance. He is everything and more that I need, want, and deserve sometimes. What are the chances that meeting the other half of your soul is free? Not only him but his family too. They are the family I didn't have growing up. I know it's not a logical thought. I just feel like this sometimes probably trying to rationalize cancer.
Oh and I think our pumpkins turned out cute! Never painted them before and probably won't use acrylic paint again, but they were fun to make.
Wishing everyone a good week!
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Hey everyone
Just wanted to stop in and let you all know that my scans show stable, for the most part. There is no change in the liver met and there isn't anything else in my head. I have four or five bone mets that are still active and growing, but that's ok, I'm happy with the results. Tomorrow I have to have a different kind of ct scan to check and see if I have a blood clot in my lung, I"ve been extremely short of breath and my onc is wanting to rule it out. Personally, I think it's just me trying to come down with a cold! Micmel, went back and LOVE the bra....Great job on that!!! IT's gorgeous!
I know I'm missing alot of people, but wanted to let you all know I'm doing ok, it seems
God Bless you all and I'll talk to you again soon!
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Minnie~Hi beautiful! I hope by now you’re sleeping soundly comfortable and warm! Thank you for the idea of getting my daughter something at another time. It makes total sense, she even said that, but it’s just saddens me. Life is a very strange, wonderful,horrible experience at the same time and we just go along for the ride. Hope your pain is better. 🌷
Parry~Love those pumpkins. Love being creative....I agree with alot of the points you have brought up and they made me think. Thank you. I honestly appreciate it. You’re all in the shit stew with me. I love your work I would for sure hang one of those. I need to find something else to occupy my time. The bra will be complete Tomorrow.! Well see how I do!
Another chilly night on tap. Much love to all. ~M~0 -
Congrats on the scans Gracie! 🎉👏😃
Hi to all 🙂 Sorry, no time to catch up with everyone yet, off to bed.
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Gracie ~ Thank goodness. I am so relieved! WrAppig you in a big big loving hug my sweet sister ! Love you! ~M~
Hello Mae~ goodnight and good morning !
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Good news, Gracie!
Hello to everyone. I hope you're having a good day.
This photo is of a tiny watercolor I did long ago. The little pitcher is from my china. The rest is from my imagination. Sorry it's a blurry shot.
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