My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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I had recently had a talk with my best friend, and she grew up directly next store to me, I was born there, and she moved into the house next door when I was 13, she was then 12. We were and have always been friends. She came and brought me some documental information about a cancer cluster that has been raised in question to where we grew up because of golf courses surrounding both the front of where our houses were located, and behind where our house was located. It had been discovered that there was an enough off a slope from the golf courses area when they ran their sprinklers, that the water flowed downward into the lower back yards well systems. I lived in that house for 21 years. I could have been ingesting pesticides and chemicals from fertilizers all those years. Apparently on my street alone, which only had 10 house on the one side, the other side was golf course. Every single house on that side has someone in their family with some sort of cancer. Four women have breast cancer, two ovarian, and four men, two with colon and one with lung (never smoked) and the other with prostate cancer. I am going to have to see some of their doctors and be tested to see if some of these chemicals are in my cell make ups for the tumors. The problem is, (a thankful problem to have dont get me wrong) I don't have any measureable tumors for access. They are in my bones and they don't have tools small enough to reach them effectively and get enough for testing. So they are requesting information from the breast and liver biopsies that I had before. Then we go from there. On the other side of the street down the road have also has a burst of same age people with cancer clusters. Most of them with no family history of health reasons. Like excessive drinking or drug use or anything. I was floored when she was showing me the request documents they had sent her. Apparently they are doing it alphabetically and mine should be here within days. I have never heard of such a thing. I thought living near two golf courses gave me peace and quiet away from Everything and everyone. I would ride my horses everyday. Free. If this turned out to the the reason I developed this cancer. I think I would be destroyed. I loved it there. It was my happy place. Over 2 acres. No sidewalks, no traffic. No people. Just woods and open air and freedom for children. I would have never left there or grown up, if that were an option. Just very perplexed with all of this. ☹️😕😟 good night sweet friends ~M~
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I am getting really good at talking to myself lol. I have to do some investigating about this issue when I was younger and this water. If it's a class action suit. I need to really research what's going on there. Rainy and cool and cloudy. Sprinkles here and there. Slept until 10:45 and I already feel like going back to sleep. I have two more pills for month #11. Then on to round #12. Hard to believe. I just pray it keeps working.
Mae~ you're on my mind. I'm still here waiting to see your beautiful smile. On your side always !
Keetmom~ hugs to the girls.and to you!!
To the Lynn's and to Lynne~. Hope everyone is ready for a great weekend.
Nan~ ❤️
Chicago~ you doing ok honey?
Tanya~hope you're doing ok also. A lot going on . We all do.
Would you believe that my daughter went to the doctors this morning and she has an upper respiratory infection, that I cannot get. Nor do I need after everything this past week or so. No thank you!
Much love to all~M~
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Good afternoon ladies,
I get notifications and read them in my email. Micmel I love the grand puppy pictures. He's going to be gigantic and happy in the cold winters of Pa. I hope the seizure soreness is easing up a bit by now.
Praying for all of us to feel better and be better.
I caught the cold that I tried so hard not to catch. My son has been home from the hospital for a week now. I'll be glad when he's well enough to go home.
My DH is offering me tea and such but really I just want the offer not the tea.
I spent all day yesterday cleaning, disinfecting, sanitizing. Then the coughing started.
At some point I have to get an xray of my left hip to see where or how far the cancer is. Has anyone had this measurement/procedure.
Much Love All,
Tanya
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Micmel
Get the lysol can out.
I pray that you keep that respiratory infection at bay.
Don't feel obligated to take care of her. I know you will want to.
Have a great weekend.
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Tanya~I am sorry that you are not feeling well, I am glad though that your son is feeling better. That worry alone is so difficult for a parent. I hope you are able to rest and everyday you feel better. I am concerned about getting sick. Two people in this house have it. My son today said his throat is scratchy, I've been staying away and washing my hands. I need a bubble wrap! For myself. Change of seasons bring lots of people who are sick and everyone in the colleges get the fall cold or flu. I have to get my flu shot like now. Thank you about the grandpuppy nod. He is a shining part of my week when I have him. I worry though how much longer I'll be able to handle him. He's already so big. I already spoil him. Lol. I am starting to feel better since my fall, I have a bruise the size of Texas on my lower thigh. Dogs tend to get in the way. DH noticed that the 10 year old puppers isn't hearing very well anymore, I am in full agreement with that. I love fall but I don't want it to get too cold too soon. Your DH had a nice idea there with the tea. I think some tea and honey might be nice. Big hugs!
Waving hi to everyone. !
~M~
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.......How my dog looks when he has gotten into my chocolate! They find everything !! Have a good evening. ~M~
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Hi to all! So glad the weather has cooled down but I hear it's going to heat up again this weekend. I am so tired of sweating! I was never one to sweat until Ibrance/Letrazole. Feeling kind of blah this week, tired, tired, tired. But every morning my eyes pop open at 5-5:15 am and I'm up for the day. That requires a nap in the afternoon and by 8pm I'm beat. I know I don't post much but I read every day. You are all always in my prayers. Micmel, love your doggie pictures...so cute!
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Lynnwood~ I also am very tried all the time. I could sleep all morning, get up and shower and then want to lay down again. Sometimes I take the puppy, but I can say for sure, I am glad I had my kids young. It's a lot of work, you just kinda forget, like child birth, it rips you up and you somehow end up doing it all over again. I hope you're avkrmfeel rested and have a good weekend. Hugs !
I just know now I couldn't do it.
So to you ladies , who have young kids at home that you take care of everyday. You're a very special strong person and woman. Just shows what's mothers love can do. You're amazing.
Big hugs ~M~0 -
October is SECC (state employees charitable campaign) month and my group makes/sells breakfast tacos each year, I make the hash browns the night before and handle the money during the sale. We lost someone in our group earlier this year to colon cancer, so the American Cancer Society gets our donations this year. Taco's were $1.50 each but instead of handing back the 50 cents, I asked if the just wanted to donate it too. Looking sad and having only about an inch of hair, everyone but two donated, suckers, lol. We made about $300, I also donated to other groups by buying pumpkin bread and a root beer float, you know, for charity
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Mae~Hi there darling! I am happy to hear you're very busy with your work function for the charity ACS. I just hope some where soon, someone has that light bulb moment go off, and then we take a few pills and we are done! Even if these pills I had to take
Now everyday were the ones , i would do it no problem. I hope you had nice weather,and I am glad to hear the tip jar was filling up under your guidance! Was this an all day long function? It rained here on and off. I love the cooler weather so much. I am sorry about the loss of someone in your group. That just plain stinks. There is just no way else to put it without sounding like I'll be breaking out in bad language. Tomorrow is Saturday DH arrived a little while ago. I'm wondering what his plans are. I think he brought his bike. That usually means 20. To 33 miles. He just Likes the to get in it And go. I wish I could run again like before. Michael love ~M~0 -
Happy weekend all.. Rough few days here, 2 families who are part of our life have either lost or are close to losing their children...one lost their 14 month baby after she spent almost her whole life in hospital, and a brain tumor kid who is 6 is in hospice, her smile always warmed my heart...so I am just gutted...and to top it off the last chemo she was is the same as Emma and Emma has an MRI on Monday...Trying to keep it together
Hope you all have a good weekend...give those close to you a hug!0 -
Keetmom, My heart goes out to you, and I am lifting you and Emma up in prayer. I can only imagine the thoughts that are running through your head and the pain and fear you are feeling. We will be there in spirit with you and Emma on Monday.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Keetmom~Once again I am speechless with no ability to understand why things like this even happen. Innocent children and families just trying to live normal happy lives. It makes me so upset. I am deeply sorry for your friends. It's just plain not fair. Emma and your family are always on my mind. Think of us all with you on Monday, I will be waiting right alongside of you holding your hand. I just really wish we could all be together during times like these.i am sending deep thoughts and you are Emma and your family's champion. Adore you. 💕 ~M~
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Mae~ just letting you know you're on my mind. Hugs my friend! ~M~
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I hope everyone is doing something good this weekend. Bruises have started to heal. Seems like this weekend went so fast like always. All the autumn fall festivals are starting. Some leaves turning here also. When it was summer I wanted it to be cooler. Now that it's cooler I would like it to stay that way for a pretty long while! No cool gripping crap! I am fighting this cold crap my entire family seems to have made their way home with. I Am worried because I just don't need anymore crap to go through. No one doesn't. I read on another page. Freya, our thoughts an strength are with you as recover from 8 yes I said 8 days in the hospital. We are thinking of you!
Mae~ still thinking of you. Miss your smiles through words. 💕
Hope everyone else is ok.
Waving HI to Keetmom, strong emotional stuff going on here. We need a break!
Hugs ~M~
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......this is for my DH because his co workers suck out loud. They do absolutely nothing !!!!! It's always him. Ughhh. Some people suck! ~M~0 -
I'm so sorry keetmom. I believe that that is the worst kind of loss. No matter how old the child is when they pass. If the pass before the parent, it's just not right. My mother (who will be 80 in Dec) keeps telling me I can not go before her. I told her that it's not up to me.
I fell 2 more times on Fri. Once at my Mom's (it was just her and me), hit my nose on her kitchen chair (no blood or bruising, but I did hear a crack,still a little sore), and twisted my foot (only a little sore now), and once and home, my eldest caught me. Again, got real shaky and legs buckled, I did not pass out. I refused to got to the ER (the dr's office was closed by then) and stopped taking my metformin and blood pressure pills (since my blood pressure was so low anyhow. I called my dr's office this morning, and am now waiting for the nurse to call me back. I haven't fallen since, and have been a lot less shaky, still a little weak, but not eating much last week because of thrush and mouth sores, didn't help. I just started eating somewhat regular this weekend. I went to a bbq Sat for a couple hours, and yesterday did the Making Strides walk. My husband pushed me in my wheelchair for most of it. I did get out and walk a little bit though. My foot hurt so that kept me down too. It was a beautiful weekend up here in the 70s with lots of sunshine. I even got a little burn on my face. I see my oncologist Fri to check my white cell counts (that's when they'll be at their lowest), and I fly out Sat morning for a week in Jamaica. It's our 34th anniversary on Sunday, and I am going no matter what. There are hospitals there too. Hopefully, they'll get this straightened out before I leave. Ok, they just called me back, now the nurse will give the info I gave to her again (after I gave the same info to the receptionist), to my doctor. I'm sure another hour will go by! Wish me luck!
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OH Lynne, I hope they find the source of the weakness you are feeling. Yes, they do have hospitals in Jamaica, but I will still worry about you. You deserve to get away to celebrate your anniversary, and I hope you are able to enjoy every minute of that trip. Maybe you just need to have your blood pressure medication changed or adjusted. I always find it annoying that we have to repeat our symptoms and issues again and again when we call the doctor's office. I know they will say they want to be sure they have all the correct info, but still annoying.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Lynne~ I am so sorry that you have fallen again. We are a falling bunch this month. I am so glad you did not hurt yourself, or worse like you said, your nose. My mother says the exact same thing to me everytime we talk, I know it well. She says she can't be alive without me here on this planet. I also say the same thing you do! That It is not our decision clearly. I am also thinking about you and your trip. You deserve this trip and I am sending every ounce of strength I can muster to you. Have the time of your life and take in all the beauty of being with yourDH. Special bonds deserve special celebrations! Congrats on your anniversary! I hope your counts increase and that will be the ticket you'll need other than that airplane ticket of course!!!!! Big hugs. ~M~
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50'sgirl~ good point on the blood pressure medication adjustment, my DH had some issues with that before as well. They had to tweak it several times. Before they got the prefect doseage and or medicines. Sometimes they just don't agree with our bodies. How I wish for us all, that we have a day soon, where we are told, you don't need to take anymore medicines ladies, you have been through enough. That is really all I want to hear for us all. I had a little melt down in DH arms a little while ago. Sometimes I just can't even believe that this has even happened. Sometimes I repeat it to myself out loud "I have Cancer". Like hearing myself say it will make it easier to deal with or accept. I just realize. I am never going to accept what cancer does to those I care about and love. Here, and thr my family. I have had enough, leave us alone cancer. Hugs sweet friends ~M~
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Today was a very hard day for me. My DH and I Met with an attorney about will, power of attorney etc advance directive. It was probably one of the hardest days I've had since being diagnosed. It was surreal. My life is just now officially on a peice of paper spelled out like words on a closed and finished novel. Like the end of a story. That can only be read one time. I am feeling so helpless. In a sea of things that need to be done. How on earth we get up everyday living with metastatic cancer boggles my mind. I am off to my therapist now to discuss my poor self esteem issues. Hint. No breast, short hair . Curly. Was long long And straight. Need I go on?? Much love ~M~
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Micmel, that sounds like a very stressful day. I can't even imagine. I'm ashamed to say that I haven't done anything like that yet, I know I should but I keep pushing the idea out of my head. One good thing for you is that it's now done and you don't have to worry about it anymore. Some days are just so hard.
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All of you lovely ladies are going through so much! I hate to post my next segment of oprah,until everyone is good to go! For now I will only pray and send virtual hugs out to all!! Lynn man,lynnbed,Mel,Mae,keetmom Lynwood,Claudia,Tanya,and anyone else I might have forgotten.❤️❤️
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Chelle~ please post your little heart away. I need to hear happy things. I did it because I don't want any surprises. I feel relived in a way but surreal in others. Please do post whatever your little heart desires. Good things are essential to the bad days! Much love ~M~
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Emma's scans were good...she wont have to scan again for 6 months..hopefully she stays healthy...I am REALLY tired..her hospital is 2 hours away we went down last night but a long day of appointments and then ride home..ready to climb into bed just a bit early here..
She has scanned at least every 3-4 months for the last 10 years..only going 6 months one time....I'm having a problem wrapping my head around this!0 -
Hi all, from Tennesse. We have limited WiFi access here. Sending you all hugs and prayers!
Claudia
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Lynn~ this was all set up by my DH. He wanted to make sure there was nothing left to chance. He wanted one less thing for me to worry about. Also my daughter wouldn't be strong enough to make needed decisions that might need to be made. So I wanted to remove that difficult thing from her. Because she is my oldest. If DH wasn't around fast enough, it would go to her and I didn't want that pressure solely on her. So we made sure it would be both my DS and DD together making a decision. If for some reason DH wasn't there , and something had to to occur. It was a good thing to learn aboutthough. Most people don't even need wills. You do if you have a Iot of money. But if you don't, you really don't need one at all. Sometimes it can even save money! Hope everyone is well!! ~M~
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Claudia~❤️Hi sweetheart, am so happy to see your wonderful name here. Thank you for taking the time to let us know you're doing good. I hope you are having a Blast! Miss you. Please be safe, build memories with DH. Big hugs! ~M~
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Keetmom~I am very thrilled to hear that 😁😁 Emma's scans were good, think about it, no more scans for six months. Say it out loud. 6 MONTHS!! You and your precious family so deserve that. I am so happy for you all. Please give her a hug for me. That is exactly the news I needed after the month I have had. None related to cancer, ironically. Just falling, attorneys visit that really stunk, family crap. So I am really happy Emma's scans were good. Good thoughts your way my dear. Big hugs to everyone. Great job mom! ~M~
Mae~ love you darling. Waiting here for you. Whenever you're ready. Caring very much.
Much love ~M~
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I know I have cancer, I heard the words, I saw the oncologists mouth moving. I felt the lump, i could see their eyes and knew quickly being ushered into an immediate biopsy, the same day as a guided ultra sound, I knew then even before the confirmation. The past two years have been a blur. Who am I? Why do I look like this now? Wow why so many aches and pains and sudden limitations on my strength and functioning? Why do I have the same name, have the same address, drive the same car, pay the same bills. But my life is no longer my own, it's a series of scans filled with gut wrenching worry that nothing else can even occupy any space or thought to invade the scanxiety we face. This thread is about family,love, that one person who gives you strength, the one who makes your heart flutter. It's also about life and things we have no choice but to go through. I hope you all know this isn't a place where only good news should be shared. I want us to support each other and be that girlfriend(S) on the stool next to me. Even though I have fallen, physically I feel pretty darn great, no pain. I learned so some good lessons about medicine and eating. It's been a mental three weeks of emotional things. It's something in our minds we can never out run, as as the hamster on the wheel my mind never gets tired of running. But it just doesn't stop. I hope everyone sleeps well. Supposed to be cold cold tonight freeze warning! Stay cozy warm everyone! ~M~
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