My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Hi all,
I'm happy to read about all the activities over the weekend. It went so fast. I did a lot of cleaning Friday and Sunday. The results always make me feel good. My grand daughter helped me so it was a little fun. I rewarded her with a amazon shopping spree.
I went for my xray this morning and didn't stay for the results. I feel things in my hip so whatever it is I'll find out soon enough.
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Tanya~I know everyday no matter what I feel, my mind always goes there. I could stub my toe. Then later at night it's another pain. Terrible way to feel. I don't want anymore cancer or anymore pain, and that's it!! I've made up my mind lol. If only so easy. I hope all is well In your world!! Big hugs ~M~ Keep us posted on your X-ray please.
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I am on game of thrones season seven episode 3. I haveBeen slowly watching it and I don't want it to ever end. I enjoy this so very much. Such good characters and scenery! Well worth watching. Mae~ I am riveted. Just sending thoughts your way. hope you're feeling good again today. Hugs ~M~
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. ........this is how I have been feeling about my hair. Awkward styles that I can have. Not long enough for this, I hate bangs, it's too fluffy!! I don't much like gels lol so my hair is growing back and I am so thankful. But so scared to loose it again, knowing I have scanning coming up mid November. I just don't want to scan and I don't want to have cancer anymore ! ~M~0 -
Micmel, I wish I could make cancer disappear from the world. I don't like scans either. Luckily, for me, I don't have one scheduled anytime soon. My DH will have scans next month, and I am always much more nervous and stressed out over his than I am about my own. I have learned to think of the past two years as bonus time for both of us. Each day is a blessing, and we try to appreciate and enjoy things as much as we can. Now my hair is another matter! I swear that I got the worst hair in my family. It has always been thin, fine, flyaway, and totally straight. It will do whatever it wants to do in spite of what I try. Maybe that Mohawk is on the horizon for me.
Chelle, I am so sorry that your DH has been subjected to such poor treatment and behavior. He is a hero who has devoted his life to helping others, risking his own life to do so. As you know, he will not be letting people down if he is no longer police officer. He has given his all. He can and will find other ways to serve people. He is lucky that you are with him to support him brought all this. I completely understand why you do not want him to ever put on his uniform again. You and others who are married to police officers are a remarkable people. Btw, it is funny that you mentioned Bedford Falls and Jimmy Stewart. I enjoy watching It's a Wonderful Life every year. I have a poster from that movie. One of my sons gave it to me, and I have it hanging in my house in the mountains.
Well, it is time to watch my two granddaughters as I do 4 days every week. Lots of ring-around-the-Rosie, itsy bitsy spider, and hokey-pokey coming my way.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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Lynne~I think you're pretty Amazing! All that you deal with, I remember those little games with my kids. Time is sooo fleeting, now my DD turned 22 on Saturday (I call her my princess without a country) she enjoys the finer things in life, I was never like that. I never cared really about things or fancy dress up,make up. I never wore any of it really. My son is almost 21 and he is the tough one.Just wanted my ring from my DH. That is all I ever needed. I am so happy to think of you playing with your granddaughters. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 special moments make the world go around. I haven't scanned since early May, or had a blood work since May also. No active measurable disease, is what I was told. Once hearing that, you don't want to really hear anything else!
Much love to everyone ~M~
Chelle~I agree, he is already a Hero. Let the Heroes relax and live a good life with his beautiful wife and family. You have a very special family. We all do!!
We all honestly do!
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Nothing to exciting here...it is cold rainy and all around just icky...
My dad came home to recover yesterday, bypass surgery will be in 3 weeks..I have chemo this week so it will be the day after the next one...hopefully the Dr doesn't decide to scan that week not sure my nerves could take that...0 -
Keetmom~Hi darling! I am thrilled to hear your father went home. I am with you in the nerve department where scans are concerned, I am scanning in November! Not really having any interest in doing anymore scanning at all personally. Keep me on ibrance until I feel different or there is pain to be had! I'm with you keetmom! I am sending good thoughts and vibes for good outcomes all around. Much love ~M~
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.......my weekly visit with my grand puppy. Had him from 1220, until around 3:10. He fell asleep on my tummy on my bed. I have never loved a creature like I love this dog. I would keep him in a second. He's growing leaps and bounds though, took him jogging again around the block. Needed the activity for my body. Puppy's always need to play. I had so much fun playing with him. He's very affectionate and loving. I'm crazy about him. He runs and launches into my arms and cuddles me. I'm hooked!! Much love to all ~M~ 0 -
Lynn Bedford- I love “ it’s a wonderful life” Had I born a son, his name would have been George Bailey G.
How is your DH feeling? I’m nervous for his scans as well!!! God willing,everything will be clear! This all must be very hard on your sons! Most particularly your in house DS! Cancer stinks!!!
Keetmom- when it rains,it pours!! You are very strong! How much can one family handle? I ask myself that one all of the time! Hang tough girl! And when you can’t,come here and let it all out!,
Micmel- your DD will grow out of the princess stage,when she moves out and can no longer afford the finer things. She will come to you and thank you for everything. She will be in awe of your generosity!!
My grown girls are always saying stuff like” how did you afford it?” And why didn’t you beat me to a bloody pulp? My answer is I don’t really know,perhaps because I love you.
I still have a young one only 15. Ugh teenagers.....
I have been pushing myself to the limit. I was so tired last night. I went to bed after dinner. And didn’t wake up, until 4:30 A.M. I’m getting back in bed too. So lazy!!!
Lynn Manchester- soak up some Jamaican sun for us! We had our first snow a week ago.❄️🌨☃️
Love to all ❤️
Chelle
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Chelle~good morning beautiful! It's a lovely day here. I can't believe you have already had snow ❄️ like uh no thank you at all!! It's a perfect fall day. Hope they last a long long time. I remember the month that I was diagnosed, I sat in my rocking chair upstairs watching the family together shoveling the cars out. I sat and cried so filled with terror, thinking that I may never see another snow storm, to be able to watch them shoveling together like that again. It was horrible. I feel that way about every season anymore. Effin cancer has so much that is unknown about it. But boy can we all tell you the things that WE CERTAINLY DO KNOW ABOUT IT!!! It ruins lives,bodies,minds,spirits,families,veins,hair,strength, relationships. Self-esteem, happiness,security. Basically everything! Please add if I forgot any!!
Lynn~(Bedford) I am sitting here with the realization that you and the love of your life are battling cancers. I am astonished, I didn't post on the other boards very much, just for reasons like that. I know this now because you shared it here, and Chelle knew. I want nothing but wonderful news for those scans. You are all becoming so special to me. This is the reason I made this thread. For real friendship and support. I adore you all.
You are all beautiful, strong, fabulous women. Thank you for sharing with me. Thank you for going through this shit stew with me. We will persist together !
No one in my real world understands. Just because we don't look sick, somehow we are looked upon as lazy because we sleep a lot, the fatigue could stop a train on some days. I am just so glad you're all here with me. I would never wish anything like this on anyone, don't get me wrong , it just proves to me that bad things happen to good people way to much for my liking. Huge loving hugs.
~M~
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.......my coonhound does not like spiders 🕷. Literally this just happened. And I have mets in my spine. But he leaped into my arms. Luckily I worked out before diagnosis. But isn't that cute. The bigger they are sometimes they are afraid of weird stuff. He also hates the ups man truck. He barks until the noise fades away lol dogs are hilarious. Lol have a great day! ~M~0 -
Hi all! Busy week at work allocating the annual maintenance budget and staying active in preparation for a 5k this Sunday. DH made cheesesteak sandwiches and I'm stuffed, good thing my only plan for tonight is catching up on TV.
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Mae~Isn't that this weekend? I sure hope you have perfect weather for you. Sounds like with all the working and preparing energy you have, your steps are awesome as well. I am going to be totally thinking about you this weekend, when you're walking the walk!! I would ask you how you feel, but you just kinda answered that question already! Big hugs. Glad to see you! Much love ~M~
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I realized that I need to go to bed between 10 and 11, in order to not want to sleep the day away. Before diagnosis, I would feed the dogs, go to the gym run 4-8 miles, do free weights and legs. I was a tank. Now it's just not happening at all I just can't do it. I'd be tired just driving there. Plus I knew everyone there because I had been going there so long, I don't want a million questions. It would be embarrassing rolling up to the gym, when the last time I was there, my hair was half way down my back, and a different color. My breast is gone, so I will never wear a normal work out outfit ever again. I don't want to feel like everyone's conversations about me. It sucks. I just miss feeling strong, I am trying to walk some more. I am going to walk my hound dog tomorrow to see how he does. Then my other dog. They need some nice fall walks too. I want to get Chief again , but it's my dogs turn. Good night ladies. Sleep well I really hope we all do!!! ~M~
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Hello all,
I am of course not sleeping. Trying to, but my head is spinning. My youngest cried to her schools dean today. She told her that she can’t handle being away from me so much. I have an appointment with her tomorrow,to discuss what can be done. They are tailoring her a curriculum, to be done half at school and half at home. She will only need to be there two days a week. Katey loves school has many friends. Always been an excellent student. But this dx. Has torn her apart. My whole family of course. But Katey is the Baby....
Can’t imagine why this happened to us. But I do know that we should always make the best of everyday.with or without cancer! We have only one crack at this life thing. So we need to not only endure this dx. But embrace our world. As much as this sucks. There are still things to be happy about,laugh about,be excited about. I spent my entire summer feeling sorry for myself. When I should have been thanking God for my husbands life. And mine as well. I don’t know when I will die,but when I do,I will have a smile on my face because I will have lived a life of love.
The one friend that I have left,is having a party this Friday. We are going to try and go for a little while. I haven’t seen some of these people since before dx. I hate having to explain why I still have hair. Why they haven’t cut my boobs off...... I’m so sensitive, I don’t want to end up crying. Grr. This is such a difficult thing to have to go through!
Mae- my dh makes philly cheese steak sandwiches too. Sooo yummy! I haven’t watched t.v. For years. My kids were always interrupting me, so I gave up. I need to start watching again. I just have no idea where to start. With Netflix I guess.
I need to try to sleep now. Much love to everyone!
Chelle.
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Chelle, I love that! It's beautiful.
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Good um ok afternoon~ I slept literally until 12:00 pm today the fatigue is so thick, I could honestly just go right back to bed. If I don't take my ritilan early early I am useless all day long. I thought I slept good,? It just never seems to be enough. I am never really hungry anymore for anything other than something I have to jam down My throat, because I take a pharmacy sized amount of pills every single day. I have to have something in my stomach. I really don't eat very much, but would you think maybe, my ass would a shrink? I would, but it doesnt. Makes no sense whatsoever. I checked my scanning information: I scan on November 14, blood work 16, and onc appointment the 24 wth? I am not waiting ten days to get any results. I'll go looney bin bat shit. Crazy by then. It's an officially chilly fall weather day outside today, angry looking skies. Gray undertones.. even tweaked the heater, it was that chilly. I didn't think the scanning time would come up on me so quickly. If I had my way I'd never scan again. Ever. I hate it so much.
Hope everyone is ok. ~M~. Waving hi to Lynnwood and Chelle. Hugs !
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......you have to admit. Crazy things happen in Walmart lol especially ours. I've seen some strange things there. Just saw this and thought it was Funny ! Nan miss you honey!
Claudia. Hope you're well my friend
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Chelle~ I wanted to mention the part of your post that you talked about what's going on with your daughter. My heart skipped a beat thinking about how that would make me feel. Things like this are exactly another reason on a very long long list of reasons I hate cancer. Your precious sweet daughter. She shoulda not have to feel that kind of anxiety at that age. Like seriously. I Am so sorry that you ever have to deal with something like this. That age is so precious and mom is so important in every stage of their life. I hope the school is being helpful to that sweet girl and your family. No wonder you can't sleep. Between worrying about your special DH hero. We all know that we Can ever shut the mind off of a worried parent. Not to mention, everything else we on our own are dealing with. Sometimes I believe we are magicians. Without an important power....to make things disappear. Big hugs to you sweet friend. ~M~
Has anyone told you how amazing you are lately Chelle? You really are a special family. I'm honored to call you a friend.
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Good afternoon all,
I've been super tired this Ibrance faslodex round. I'm still at 125 mg and exhausted. I ventured out by myself to return a shirt and felt really sick, dizzy and faint at the store. Thank God it passed and I was able to drive myself home. I finally found a way to describe my lifetime treatment regimen to a friend. It's like taking birth control pills forever. I don't share these type of experiences with my DH because I don't want him to worry and I want my freedom too. I slept very well for the last two nights because the weather was cool. Today I woke up at 6:45 and went back to sleep around 9 and didn't wake up until 11:30. I feel super lazy when this happens. This medication sucks the life out of me. I'm happy it's working though and I can sit here and enjoy a perfectly gorgeous day.
Mae Good luck with your race this weekend. I walked to the corner a few days ago and thought I'd have to call an Uber to get back. Gigantic hot flash took my breath away. I would love to race walk again. I remember the hard breathing and the will to finish the race with whatever pain, hill, breathlessness was going on. It was wonderful to run with all of those women. I didn't enjoy the run as much in mixed company - sometimes men are too competitive. Run/walk for all of us Mae.
Chelle G - how old is your daughter? I remember when I was first diagnosed Stage III my daughter was 15. I was devastated that she had to live with this pain. She always kept a brave face in front of me but confided in her sister how scared she was. My DH was wonderful and stayed home with her, (when she also refused to go to school). Allegedly she was being home schooled but in all actuality she lost that year. She couldn't do it and we couldn't force her. I always used to help her with her homework and I just had chemo brain and too many side effects doctors appts. aches, pain, exhaustion. The school was good about extending and she finally finished all of her work after my treatment was done. I enjoyed her company at home but I really wanted her to go to school. I pray that your daughter will be fine and that you'll reach a compromise that she is comfortable with.
Micmel you make my day daily with your walmart, grandpuppy spider fear pics etc.
I hate scans too. The anxiety prior to the appt. is enough to make me faint. But then somehow we all muster the strength to do it.
This time cancer is Stage IV. I thought I was done with this monster and I'm grateful for the time I had without it. Sometimes for fleeting moments I feel that I don't have these tumors but a twinge of pain or dizziness or some weird thing that's going on in my body reminds me with a quickness. There's a cancer pamper party tonight at the local cancer hospital. I haven't decided whether or not I'll attend. I guess I'll see how I feel this evening.
Take Care All,
Tanya
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Tanya~ Hi darling! I totally agree about the terrible fatigue that comes along with ibrance.i take anastrazole with 125 mg. I could sleep for weeks. Today I got up from bed at 700 am . I fed the dogs at 715 launched my body right back into my bed.until noon!! I feel like a slug. I started my 12th month this week. I love the fall weather also. I stick my head out the door just to smell the crisp fall air. The leaves are looking gorgeous. Autumn is very here.
Mae~ I am thinking of you my friend. Sending big hugs and warm hugs. Walk this weekend ? Much love ~M~
Much love all ~M~
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Home from chemo..feeling a bit Ick....probably an early night to bed..need to figure out some food for dinner too.
Chemo in 3 weeks the day before my dad's open heart surgery, we wont scan until after that.
Thanks all for calling me strong...some days I don't feel so strong..I just do what I gotta do.Have a great weekend all..DH is sick so we will be laying low...
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Keetmom~you are strong and amazing. I can't imagine doing this while having younger kids. The exhaustion alone would put me out. I think you should realize how special you are. I am sorry DH is not feeling well. I will also be thinking of your father and his surgery. Hello to the girls. Have some good relaxing time. Much love ~M~
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Yup, it's this Sunday. Got a 10 year certificate and gift from work today (actual work anniversary is 11/1), it was nice. I'll definitely post pics of Sunday's event. For now, I'm off to bed early
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Mae~ congrats on your work certificate. Like I said,before you're an amazing woman. Each and everyone of you here are. You deserve that certificate, you work your ass off. I wish i could walk right next to you! If I could I certainly would. I would bring Chief, then everyone else would forget why we were there and we would win! Jk. But I totally wish I was able to walk by Your side, kinda like we all do here together. Good luck. Can't wait to see the pics! You'll do awesome!
It's literally like 34 here this morning, freeze warning all out already. I Am inno hurry mister winter. Hope Claudia is doing well! Haven't heard from her! They should be back I believe. Hope everything was awesome for them!! Much love to all ~M~
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proud grandpuppy ma checking in ! Last night was a big night. Little Chief did well and I am proud to say....
.....has Graduated Puppy School!!! We are so proud. We had celebratory biscuits and bones. They played 🎶 who let the dogs out 🎶 It was something else. They had puppy punch, which was just water with a little drop of beef broth for taste lol I have never seen anything like it. Even got the pupploma. Mommy and daddy have that. I gotta tell you there were a dozen dogs there. Not one was even near as cute as Chief was. Am I little partial you think? lol it's ok we all are. Post some puppy pics. It's puppy Friday! Chief is a graduate! 🎓 Lol had to share. ~M~0 -
the view is talking about and fund raising for metastatic breast cancer today.
Lilly will donate 100.00 for every tweet about it today Oct. 27th #MoreForMBC
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good information! Thank you! I'll have to check it out!
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