My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Skitzblitz, I highly recommend GoT and will probably binge watch it this summer but I must warn that it will make you angry, sad and leave you in shock at times. This show broke all the rules about what characters could be killed off and what evils they could do to each other. That said, there is also great wit, proud moments and many laughs.
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IMO it is one of the best original series I have ever been lucky enough to see. It was mesmerizing every episode. The clothing, the castles... scenery to blow your mind. Endless story lines that are running simultaneously, but separate and collide together at one point In time. It is well written and will keep you on the edge of your seat. Fabulous characters that you actually feel you know them enough to feel for them. I am so very sad to see it finish soon. It truly has been a pleasure watching every single episode of these 8 seasons. I just wish season 8 wasn't only 6 episodes long. I am never going to be happy with it ending. Ever. HBO will never be the same with out it. There have been many attempts to “mimic" the premise and story with others. But nothing will ever compare. Never mind getting me starting about the cast. All I can say is thank you to them. Because they are Awesome! Brienne Of Tarth!!!! Awesome character!
Goodnight ladies !
Today is day three of my father responsibilities.... she comes back Thursday. I need to find the strength. Off to bed !
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Lol I came across this pic of my two kids at Halloween when they were 4&5, it warmed my heart and made me realize why we fight everyday as hard as we do again!!! Flashback Tuesday!! Lol. That year they won the parade for best costume in town!!
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I am 5 done out of 6 days being the only one to visit and take care of my dad. My DH came with me two days. My daughter two days and son in law one day and two sisters one day. The common theme here was my family being the one to do the things for him. I really think it’s my nature. But if he’s just sitting there and everyone else is just standing there looking at him likes he’s a doll. Or not even real. They stand over him like he’s already a corpse. My natural feeling is to just take care of things l, it’s because I’ve had no choice in my life but to be that one who makes shit happen. If I can’t do it, I find people and someone I know that will.
My DH always said “there are people who get shit done, and people who think about what they should do”
I’m really realizing with this responsibility on top of my sickness, it’s made me physically stronger. My pains are slowing down and I’m becoming able to limit the length of my naps. Instead of 4 hours, it’s been 1.5 to 2. Or none. I find my stamina is a teeeny bit Better. I am finding the more I push through, the stronger I feel afterwards. Sounds odd I know. I also find that taking care of my father, leaves me
Less time to think about my sickness and my focus shifts to him, my comfort doesn’t even matter at that point. In that moment, I can be not the patient. But I need rest. A lot of it. Lol
Love you ladies. Hope all is well!
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Micmel, what a very interesting post. What very interesting outcomes. I like them. I am nodding my head because it is a known fact (known by me) that women are so bloody strong! When called upon to find that reserve of oomph, we find it. We give it. We push through. Take your naps as you need them. Take days off when you get the chance. But these changes you are noticing, they are real. They are you. Being awesome.
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Hi everyone, I haven't disappeared. I have been in hospital for 2 weeks now. I am going to have surgery to replace part pelvis and hip joint. Just need to tie up surgeon, theatre and bed to go ahead. How things are done in Europe! Can't be on line a lot, but will update asap. Once the op is over, I hope to be home within days! Love to all xx
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Keeping up with GOT here too! Fantastic
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I had a great week with family. First my sister and her BFF came to stay for three days, then my brother came for two days. All live in Oklahoma. I'm the only Texan of our family. We cooked a lot, ate a lot, ran around a lot, did shopping and eating out. Binge watched Poldark. Had a great time. They left on Friday and Gary came with his German Shepherd Sooner. We watched horseracing. All day Friday and Saturday in prep for the Kentucky Derby. He grilled steaks for me, and I cooked sides. Big breakfasts of bacon,eggs and cinnamon toast. DD and DIL came for breakfast.
Too soon he was gone back to Oklahoma. By then, I was glad to be home alone, silence is golden. You know the feeling.
Now, it's back to business week. Appointment w MO this week. I hope we will discuss results of genomic testing. And she will schedule my next PET, to see how X is working. X is treating me like royalty this week, no SE and lots of energy.
Micmel, when your father is gone, you will look back with no regrets. That is the best feeling of accomplishment you will ever have. Keep doing what you're doing. You will be stronger for it. 💞
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Micmel you're just about there and then you will be SO grateful for some time to yourself. With this new insight about how much you can do, perhaps a new balance is on the horizon for you. I find if I do my self-care stuff in the morning (meditation, a walk in the fresh air, some tai chi that I recently started learning) I feel much better throughout the day. If I wait until afternoon I'm already tired, I have some piano students to teach, my back is starting to hurt and then I just want to be in a chair. So just knowing that morning is when I can do things for myself really helps a lot.
OMG I am so happy to be amongst GOT people! Hurray! I've watched the entire series and I'm so sad there are only two more episodes. In the beginning of the series my son, who has read all the books, said "just don't get too attached to any of the characters". Boy was he right!
Minnie oh my on those replacements! I'm sorry I'm new so I'm not aware of your history but on top of this cancer I've got a hip problem too. I walk with a cane because of it. It's been coming on for years and years but when my spine started to crumble from osteoporosis, pagets disease and now mets, my entire gait must have gone kerfuffle and my hip is really difficult to put weight on. I've had bone scan etc and there's no cancer there but I'm certain that arthritis is the culprit. Ugh.
I'm now about six or seven weeks from diagnosis, finished spine rads, and on Day 6 Ibrance and Letrazole. Yesterday in therapy my husband finally let down and admitted how scared he's been and how pressured he's felt to take care of everything. Like many women, I'm the glue in the family and I get things done. He's not a talker, he's a do-er. So relationships and the communication and get-togethers with the kids and grandkids nearly always go through me. If he wants to show love for some one he does things for them. Since diagnosis, he's built me a new kitchen, cooked meals, helped me into bed at night, cleaned the house and gone to work at his very full-time job. Great guy. It was time for him to let it all hang out and he did so at therapy yesterday. He's afraid of being alone. He said he can't see himself as going into another committed relationship. It's that he's afraid that without me, he won't be able to have good relationships with the kids and grandkids becuase he's not good at that sort of thing. What a wonderful opportunity he's got in front of him in my opinion. I wish we had worked on this sooner rather than now, but here we are and I feel fortunate that he even recognizes what he's afraid of and wants to fix that.
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moomala~I understand the DH side of things perfectly. I am thee communicator in the family for sure. My DH is the engine. I know how hard this all emotionally, we all do. It's a shit storm and we are the ones on the front lines of it all. My advice, one day at a time. It's all we can do. Right now I'm exhausted. Just like everyday. I am already waiting to come home. I'm going to rest and binge watch the Act. Don't know how many episode are released yet but wow! What a mind f*ck! GOT. 🙇♀️ 🙇♀️💙🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️❤️ I am so glued to Sunday nights. Only two left, how can that be??? I have heard of spin offs in talks. Let's hope that DOES happen!!
Minnie~ oh sweetheart thank goodness you are ok. No one likes the hospital. Geeze. The loads we Mbc patients carry. It's heartbreaking. You rest up and take care of you! As we all must do. No choice at some points. Hugs my sweet friend.
Grannax ~ Ty for your kind words. About my father., it's a feeling I can't explain. I look at him and in an instant. I am not the patient. So nice to hear you had a good visit with your brother. Times like that I wish we would be able to bottle and bring out and live t again and again. I guess that Is what memories are. Hugs to you beautiful lady. How are you feeling on your tx? I hope better than a/a of course!
Runor~ I guess we learn as we go sometimes. I realized. Yesterday I felt more awake. It may have been a one off, I'll certainly know today. I just hate feeling like I'm out of gas. Somedays I have back to back heat flashes. All the nurses know now. That I didn't drive to the home in the pouring rain with my head out the window. It's hormonal!!!! I'm pretty sure I've explained it to every nurse there. They all ask. It is AWKWARD once you say oh yeah mbc. The chin lowers. The eyes blink, and I'm so sorry follows... i tear up and say thank you I'm fighting hard as nails. They mean well but everyone has a story to tell. Someone, they knew or know. I know they mean well but ugh! Just let me mop up my face and get home. I hope you're well!!
My sweet friend, who is my grand puppy's mamma... is in the process of learning that her closest pop pop is entering hospice at some point soon. His bile duct cancer spread to his stomach and the fluid removed was also positive for cancerous cells. HEs stage four, she spent part of the evening in my arms crying and asking why. Why can it spread while he's on treatment. How can that happen ? It happened to me. I try to be honest. I know it hurts, but I cannot lie to someone I love. I told her. Spend. Every chance you get with him. Love on him. No one knows our expiry. No one! It breaks my heart. Fucking cancer (excuse me). Makes me so mad 😡 I have to let it out.
Much love ladies.
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Good day ladies
Welcome moomala I like the therapy session stories. Good stuff.
Micmel you did the 4 days now so get your days off. Have you heard from Parry?
Minnie wow just wow hip replacement. I have thoughts about hip replacement and while you’re I. Their cut the cancer out too thanks. I pray your surgery goes well and there’s a healing that leaves no ailment behind.
Grannax sounds like you had a fabulous week!!!
Runor I hope you are well.
I had treatment yesterday and the night before terrible awful unrelenting pain until I threw up. The OxyContin barely took the edge off. Oh well the scans are clear so.... my poor DH couldn’t do anything but be there.
Much love to you all
Tanya
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Hi everyone!! Grannax i’m so glad that you enjoyed your time with your sister! how about the kentucky derby? so upsetting’ My husband bet on the “winning horse” that was scratched. he was so upset!
micmel i’m glad that you are finding your energy. remember to rest when you need it.
i had my pet scan last week and unofficially i am still stable!!
has anyone heard from parry
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Welcome Moomala!
Wondering about Parry too....
For Holmes 😀🎉
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have NOT heard from Parry and I’m worrying like crazy.
Hello Mae~~~~~~ hope you’re doing good today
Holmes~~~~~nice to see you here always. I’m resting for the next few days for sure. It was a work out! Congrats on the stable. Yes indeed. Great news! 😄😄
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I’m doing very well micmel. I have booked flights and a few days in a cabin in Vermont for DH and I next month to see his (our) niece and her family. Then off to Maine for Lobster and Martha’s Vineyard to see where Jaws was filmed! The trip is 8 days, outfits and packing prep will begin in a couple weeks.
Other than that, I’ll need some pocket jumper-inners for my follow up Brain MRI on Friday, results the same day, so that’s helpful 🙂
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you and your awesome travel. Will there be a packing preview? Maine. ... ahh so jealous love lobster so very much. I have never been, so post pics of you will... be safe. Have a blast in Vermont also. You’re amazing!
Ready for boarding into pockets! Snacks.... and all! Good luck my sweet friend ! No sign of Parry.... 💔 anyone ???
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Just watched Game of Thrones - Episode 4...
I am so very sad this show is ending.
Gumdoctor
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Thinking of Parry and hoping she is okay and just busy living.
Minnie, good luck with your upcoming procedure.
Micmel, there is something about having purpose and advocating for others, particularly loved ones, that can energize us out of the cancer fatigue in a way that sleep cannot do (while at the same time physically tiring us out). I get it. It feels nice to not be in the cancer patient identify for pockets of time too.
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Gum Doctor ~ I am totally 100% in agreement with you. I'm so very upset. It's the best show I have ever watched. I'm thankful I made it to see the end, the costumes, the locations, the actors. And yes don't ever get too fond of a character. (Hopefully Minnie hasn’t seen it!
JFL~I agree it has given me some purpose which I had been lacking. It gives me drive and makes me feel useful. The patient becomes the care giver. I am trying so hard to be half the woman I used to be. Sometimes I can't even remember her.
I am desperate to hear from Parry . I am very concerned. It's been a little while. I'm hoping against hope she's just taking her trip she mentioned a weeee bit back.
Minnie~ love you sweet sister. I wish I had a wand. I'd wave it!
Love to all
My sweet second daughter (Chiefs mama) lost her Pop-Pop last night he went so very fast. It was shocking. He was only diagnosed a year ago. Bile duct cancer. One of the inoperable areas. It's a rare form and it took him quickly. My heart is broken. He's an amazing person and grandfather. The entire family is reeling. They have lost their patriarch of their family. May he Rest In Peace beautiful soul.
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Micmel sorry for the loss of your friends father.
Waves to all.
Good news Holmes!
I’ll send Parry a message today maybe she’ll see her email.
Take care all
Tanya
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Minnie, are you watching GoT with us or waiting til the end? I don’t want to include too many spoilers in my posts 😬
Just got back from a retirement party, going to do a few chores and have a late lunch before Netflix. I’m really enjoying Blacklist and How to get away with murder right now and Killing Eve on Hulu.
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Mae good point!!! I fixed it. I get so excited sometimes. That show makes me loose my mind. Netflix, yes yes. Love it. Dexter, last season for me. I'm also not wanting that to be over. I'm also watching VEEP. Very funny very good.
Blacklist hmm never heard of that one. Hopemyou had fun at your party!
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Tanya~ Thank you my dear... it’s always good to see you. He literally went in a few days, so scary. 72... not terribly old nor young. I hope you’re doing well. I have blood work and scans soon. not thrilled in anyway. How’s that wonderful family ?
I have spent since Saturday with my dad everyday. Today was my first day off, my step mother got there and told me my father wasn’t doing well. He was lethargic and not responding very well. Sleeping mid sentence. Apparently another patient in the facility is a screamer. I hear her when I’m there, it’s bad. I honestly don’t like it at all. Her room is near his. He hasn’t slept in two days. I believe it is causing him these problems. I’ve had him outside every single day. Today after two nights no sleep, he’s in pain and not doing well. I’m concerned. So we are keeping tabs on him and letting him sleep. I am beyond worn out. I desperately needed this rest today. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I may just be going over to see him. They told us today over the phone that they can’t believe he’s made it this long. Hospice isn’t usually a long term thing. HEs been in some sort of hospice since November. In the home facility setting since end of January. I’m worried if I don’t go, and he passes, I’ll never forgive myself.
Goodness gracious! This is soo hard0 -
well I went, and I walked in and he was sounding like crackling sounds as he would inhale. It freaked me out. I sat in the chair and waited for him to wake up. He did, saw me and was surprised to see me at nighttime. He said it was late and to go. I informed him I would go only if he had his breathing treatment. He reluctantly agreed. After his treatment he asked for coffee, and a-peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He ate half of the sandwich. The nurses were thrilled. I somehow knew I needed to go. I'm hoping he rests. And tomorrow he seems better. I know I don't have him for much longer. 😧🥺💔.
Sleep well ladies. And gentleman (Daniel)
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Well, mixed results. The two spots we were watching are a little bigger and brighter, Brain rads tentatively scheduled in a couple weeks. Nothing else new and I'm ok with it.
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Mae~I guess we have to take what we are given huh? I'm glad that you're ok with it. That is what really matters. Watching is a good thing. Also sounds like it can certainly be dealt with. You're an amazing woman! Your pocket was warm. Thank you!
I got the call this morning that my father over night took a turn for the worse, I was told to arrive. As soon as I could get there.. I arrived at 830 am to a very obvious sight. He was definitely worse from when I left at 830 pm last night. He is now on full oxygen.I immediately took his hand and he opened his one eye and said “there you are boo". I've been holding his hand ever since. His fever is 101. And getting worse. They categorized him as “actively dying" now on his chart I saw those words and I lost it. They said it's doubtful he will make it through the night. Right after my Six days with him. Such precious time. I'm so glad I didn't miss a day or a minute. The smiles. The laughs. My father. Together. Again. Like nothing has ever happened. I can smell him on my hands now from running my fingers through his hair. Love is so powerful. My heart is full of love and sadness. I can't express. Hug those you love today ladies. It's important.
Much love ~M~
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So sorry, Micmel. Prayers to you and your family.
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Thinking of you Micmel. So glad you got to have this time with your father and can be with him now. You are obviously a great comfort to him. God's peace to him, you and your family as he makes his transition.
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Micmel, that was such a bittersweet post. I am so sorry that your father is slipping away but so happy that you have been able to spend so much time with him. Hold those memories close; they will bring you comfort in the days to come. The forgiveness and unconditional love that you have given your father will allow him a more peaceful passing and will serve as a powerful lesson to all those who have witnessed it. Take care of yourself and don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it. You are a truly amazing woman. Sending you strength and gentle hugs.
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So sorry, Micmel. This part is rough too. But, you will get through it.
I went to MO today. No big news. Labs are ok, mild anemia persists. My genomic testing came back with a little more info but nothing actionable for now. She wants me to get through 3 cycles of X before we do PET, July I think.
Got a be busy this weekend. Kitchen floor on Monday, demo the old floor first. Which means I need to get all breakable items out of the kitchen so they won't get demoed.
I hope everyone has a nice Mothers Day. My kids are coming to my church with me, then taking me out to lunch. Sounds fun.💞
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