My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Micmel, We are here for you. Hope you have big pockets! Much love! ❤️ Suzy
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Mae sorry to hear about the rotten spots, but I’m glad you’re ok about it all. I’d like to stay in your pocket like a piece of lint until you eat the lobster.
Grannax your plans sound amazing. I’m feuding with one of my kids right now and we all know how hurtful that is. Enjoy your mother’s day.
Micmel I’m in your pocket now. What a beautiful 6 days you had. Lord knows how you even made it through that time. I’m feeling a sense of calmness from you. Peace.
Tanya
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Micmel, Wishing you peace in knowing that you and your father have reconnected so that his last days were better because of having you in them. And I hope that you feel glad you were part of his last days as well. You have been a greatdaughter to him.
Grannax, You are a busy person with your Derby company (brother I think?), a nice Mother's Day coming up, and more kitchen work, not to mention your new treatment and doctor visit! You either have a lot of energy or found some new energy! Good for you.
Mae, glad you're good with your results.
I'm currently in western North Carolina with my DH and his car club. We have drives through scenic areas and twisty roads, eat a lot, and shop a little too. I don't always love the twisty road drives, but I really enjoy the friends and hanging out in the evenings with them. The area is beautiful. My first scans since starting treatment are a couple weeks away. I have no idea what news I'll get.,
Hello to all and hoping you’re all ok or better
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Tanya, I am well. I don't post all the time but pop in to read almost every day.
Micmel, as you sit vigil, in the dark and sounds of a hospital, know that thick around you is the spirit of everyone here. All your friends. A solid wall of presence and power that urges you on in this very important thing you do. To attend. To bear witness. You will be exhausted. Broken. So sad. And so, so, so very convicted that you have done the right thing and were counted when it mattered. The unseen hands of many people who love you reach out to you and your dad and family. We hold our breath with you and for you. In love.
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Holmes. The derby was such a bummer. I felt so let down. My brother and I just stared with our mouths hanging open. No way did they make the right call. No way what happened would have given the long shot two lengths he needed to win. So upset. We're sure not going to have a triple crown winner this year!
Rosie I am so thrilled to have all this energy on X. It's crazy good. I sure hope it's working but I won't have a scan until July.
Micmel no words, just feelings.💞
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Rumor, as usual your words are beautiful. If you aren’t a writer in your “ real life” you should be. Such comforting words for our friend. Micmel, thinking of you at this difficult time. Know that you have done a wonderful job helping your father transition from this world to the next with grace and dignity. There is now no unfinished business between you two and this will bring you comfort on your difficult days to come. Hugs to you my friend
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Micmel, I'm with you along with everyone else here. Hugs.
Minnie, I'm sending you good vibes for successful hip surgery and an easy recovery.
Tanya, I am so sorry your pain was so bad. Hopefully you're better now??
Mae, you will knock those things out!
Hello to everyone. I'm checking in to BCO a couple of times a week. Doing fair. Scans on 29.
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Thank you Ladies with all my heart. My father passed this morning at 1030. Peaceful. I have just gotten home from sitting with his body for an hour with family. He was at peace. My heart is broken. He waited for us all to come and go. When my step mother left the room for two mins he left us. He didn’t want us to see that I’m sure. It broke my heart sitting there looking at him . He’s gone. My sweet father is gone. I feel so blessed beyond blessed to have been given that time with him. These past three months although hard. I wouldn’t trade that for the world. It was a divine intervention at work for sure. The timing of the passing was too coincidental my step mothers birthday as may 4 my birthday is May 25th.. right smack in the middle. Of our birthdays. One day before mother’s day. I’m an emotional wreck I dont even know what to do with myself. I was given a purpose. I will miss him forever. 💔🥺😭
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Micmel - I am so sad to read your news. But as you say, as hard as it has been for you, it is a beautiful gift of time you were given with him. And you were blessed with the gift of being with him during his last breath. These things will provide some small comfort in the months and years to come. Love to you.
Gumdoctor
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Micmel, we are so sorry for your loss. Please accept our condolences. Sending big hugs to you and your entire family.
The Mods
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Micmel, I know firsthand how painful it is to lose a father. I’m so glad that you got to spend time with him, helping him, making him smile. I remember how he loved the smell of his freshly washed laundry, it truly is the simple things that bring joy to people. I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m also very proud of the way that you handled a tough situation with your family dynamics, all while dealing with your own health issues.
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Micmel, I'm so sorry to read of the passing of your father. You have my deepest condolences at this difficult time. You really helped him during his last months and that will be a comfort to you.
Regarding the day your dad passed, in between birthdays, I felt the same thing happened with my mom, who died (in 1997) in April. Three of her kids plus my dad and his mom were born that month. We knew the end was near for my mom, she was comatose for a number of days prior to her passing,and when I visited her in the nirsing home every day during that time, I was sure to tell her what the date was, because I knew she would not want to pass on any of their birthdays. Even tho she was in a coma, I wanted to keep her spirit informed. And she passed on the 13th. No one in the family's birthday. Also, even tho all 7 of us kids visited her steadily that month, she was alone when she passed. I think that's how she wanted it.
God bless you, Micmel. You are the sweetest and kindest.
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My deepest condolences for your loss. It's wonderful you were able to comfort him and ease his passing. It's very profound. Hugs!
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I am so sorry to hear this Micmel, and so glad you were there. Allow yourself the space and time to grieve and rest deeply. But let yourself be comforted by having followed your gut, taking the high road, doing what your heart called you to do and being present and accounted for. Huge loss Micmel, but life win. Life win, my sweet friend.
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I Love you Dad~Goodbye my sweet Dad No matter how long we were apart, I thought of you everyday. My love was unconditional. Please wait for me wherever you are. I miss you already, I wish I knew where you were. I want to come take care of you Monday.I love all of you ladies. The past two days have been beautiful in such strange ways. Today was absolutely magnificent outside. Clear blue just like his eyes. I was a daddy's girl and he always was my heart. I looked just like him and I was one of the only three people to be with him after his death this morning. It was very personal. I laid with him on the pillow and hugged him gently. I expected him to speak to me again. He looked like he would. I've never seen a death up close , Ive never experienced being that close to it ever. It's a surreal kinda of peaceful intimate feeling of undying love, you tuck into sorrow and move your feet to get through. I held him until he started to get cold. Then it was time to take him. He was such a handsome man. I adored him. I am so thankful for that time and listening to my gut and going back that evening before, when he was taking a turn for the worse. I was there for every phase. He left on his terms and that's ok. We knew that could happen. He gave me the best six days I could ever imagine. Loving on him. Helping him with her final year birthday gift and card. Him signing the card with barely any strength.... he gave her one last birthday present. One last card. It was our plan. He trusted me enough to ask me to get them for him. He knew I would with no problem. It felt good.
I got a call today after we left the home, after they had taken him Away.My step mother went home and called me. She said, “I just feel the need to be with you and your DD, we felt something together this morning, no one else can understand. I feel the need to be with you both.. she said I was her rock through all of this, and she doesn't know how she would have gotten through any of this without me. Because she would have had no one. She was crying and said my father was happy being with me and my children. It was so special to him to have them back again. We realized today, my son was the last person to have a conversation with him, before he lost consciousness for good. It was so special to my son ,he fell to his knees in my bedroom. I have never been so proud of my children. They all stepped up and we were a solid union of love and support. It was almost magical, He told my son. Which were his last words... “I'm sorry, I love you, I missed you". My last words to him were “do you want to be left alone dad, are we bothering you?, he said no boo don't leave me alone to die, please?" We kept our promise, he was not alone for one second while he had a breath in him. We all came together and everyone who needed to see my father did. It was so amazing how it all happened it was just absolutely precious.
My older brother is also estranged, I made sure to face time with him so he could see my dad. My dad perked up and said. I love you son goodbye. I just wanted him to be able to say goodbye. Regrets are a heavy load. I am so thankful I won't be carrying that load. The load I'll be carrying is missing him. Pure love that a daughter always had for her father.
Mods~. Thanks for caring
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Oh man, so sorry for your loss. Can't imagine as my dad calls me love or my love. It's just me and my bro.
So glad he was surrounded by love and crossed over in peace. I think that's what we all hope for.
What you did for him inspite of your own issues is amazing. I'm sure he felt so loved. And your stepmonster not acting like her name at the end, beautiful.
May he rip and may you all find peace too.
Xoxo
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Sorry to read this today micmel, sending love 💗
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So sorry, Micmel. I hope you find peace in knowing how important you were to him and how comforted he was by your presence. You took wonderful care of your father; now let everyone take care of you. Sending you much love.
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Micmel so sorry for your loss today. I hope you are resting well. You are an amazing daughter and your loyalty and resolve shone through.
Take care all.
Tanya
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Micmel, wishing you peace and good memories
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Micmel, sending you warm hugs and my deepest sympathy. Thank you for sharing your journey with your dad with us, I know it hasn't been easy for you. He left you a wonderful gift and showed you a way forward with grace and dignity. From all the chaos of a few months ago, your family rallied around you to help and to also show you how much they love you, when it mattered. Rest well and be well. What a beautiful photo of the two of you.
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Micmel,
Big hugs. I can only imagine (I have disassociated myself from my birth mom & dads' side of the family, except one brother) how hard it was to not only reconnect with your dad, but to become his caregiver really and make beautiful cherished memories...that it tremendous. Im in your pocket sister.
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Hi to everyone,
Sorry it's been a while. My eyes aren't good plus have to get the pain under control. I keep forgetting to have hubby call and schedule my appointment. He pretty much does everything for me now. Luckily my family is here 3 weeks out of the month and its on his hands for only a week. My palliative team hasn't been successful in finding a home health nurse, so that's been fun.
Take care everyone! Love going out to you all.
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Micmel, so sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing to you always.
Sunset
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Thank you so much my beautiful second family here.
Excuse me but...PARRY🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️ Sweetheart my sweet beauty, thank you for showing up when I need a smile and needed to know how you were doing. I was, we all were very concerned. When I woke up crying in the middle of the night, I read your post and smiled knowing, you chose that moment to post. Thank you it really meant a lot. I think of you everyday. I am so sorry your having. A hard-time. I think we all understand and feel it right along with you.
I'm still numb! It's all I know. But instead now it's amplified with a grief of a loss. I loved him every second I was given. I just wanted to show him with my actions. Not words. Words are words. But love is action. I pushed myself... through the physical pain and fatigue. No matter what I did it. I told him what time I would be there. And I was. He knew. While he was dying he would follow me with his eyes. I knew what he wantedwith his eyes. I am filled with sorrow.
To you wonderful, unselfish, beautiful mothers out there. Happy Mother's day.
Grannax~ hope you enjoy your grandchildren. ❤️
Love to all and again thank you
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Happy Mom's Day to all you mothers out there.
I am not a mom myself, something cancer has taken , but God has placed the best mother in my life who seems like I should have been born to. I see the mothers love when she not only conquered her fear of driving (in her 40 years of life she only drives to get food and take the kids to school) to drive the 4 hours from Bakersfield, through L.A. (some may know the trial that is), to come take care of me in San Diego - another big city. She pished her high level of anxiety to do this. The she would do our grocery shopping, cleaning our house inside and outside, making any food I would want, walk our dogs, and me. All my appointments, even keeping the dr's in check she knows my plan more than me now days, and so much more I can't even put into words.
She did this with 4 kids - High School and College (aiming for med school with my 2 younger sisters, my husbands graduating in Architecture). Her loves is abig part of what unites this family for her to do this. Dad working to the bone, the girls being good and coming homd when they can to take care of our yougest brother, everyone pulled together. Because she taught them all what it is to love overflowing & unconditionally.
Now I am learning and receiving what I rarely saw growing up. Her love is healing those wounds from the past and giving me comfort for whatever future may come for me, for us, our family.
So HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
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I'm sending you my sympathy, Micmel.
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Micmel I'm so sorry that you've lost your father. Sending peace and love your way!
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Micmel congratulations on being the best you could ever be for your father but also for everyone you have helped.
Parry, love to you for your special words today.
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Thank you ladies, Daniel & Leslie, I am really having a hard time.Lynne, Thank you for reaching out. Please come home... I need your wisdom. ❤️
I love you Dad! I miss you Dad! I am speechless and my heart feels heavy, I want to come to the home and hold you again. I didn't want to part. I wasn't ready. I would never be ready, ever. I love you with all of my heart and every fiber of my being. 😞
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