My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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hi good morning friends!
How is everyone feeling today? Lots of scans happening this month it seems!
Gumdoctor - good to hear from you. You are in my thoughts!
Rabbit - yes yes about Nalie. Really hoping her current treatment is working. What a mind trip this all is :-/
Micmel hoping your cold is better!
I had an interesting experience two nights ago where I went for a “scrub and massage" at a traditional Korean spa with a friend. It was AMAZING. I could not believe the amount of dead skin cells that got scrubbed off me!! I kept imaging that all the dead cancer tissues from my breast tumor were being scrubbed away and rinsed down the drain. I loved it cause no body part is (except the anus and vagina) are left untouched! It is so complete and incredible and there is no shame. I do struggle with being naked and the appearance of my wrinkled crinkled boobie and inverted crinkly nipple. I am self conscious about it but I tell myself that it is good for other women to see a boob like this, to know what it looks like, since breast cancer is so common. 1 out of 8 women get a BC diagnosis. So common!
Anyway - I felt like a new woman and my skin is so incredibly soft now!!!
I had my monthly MO appointment yesterday and Lupron injection. I spent a few hours in bed afterwards and then met my bff who has recent DCIS diagnosis for a happy hour bite. She said I looked “off." I felt off. Those injections make me super wonky!! Slept like a baby last night and now getting ready for a dear friend to arrive from Portland who was treated for stage 2 BC about 6 months ago with double mastectomy and radiation. Probably will be done boobie talk happening!
Scheduled for another neck MRI in two weeks, it's been 10 months and my MO said that my bone scans have been “consistently abnormal" so we wanna check in again, based on some symptoms I've been having.
Hope everyone is feeling/doing as okay as can be today!!
Love to all,
Philly
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Good morning all
We are some scanning patients lately. I’m with you all I’ve been reading but having a few SE these days. Nausea and pain.
Mae I did remember that you lost your friend who was only 40. I hate to hear that it’s so emotionally painful and draining.
Marian elizabeth happy bday and your family is beautiful.
Gumdoctor I’m happy your scan went off without a hitch. It’s amazing how they can adjust these meds. When I was first diagnosed 2003, I think we were slammed with high doses of everything bc afterwards I used to crawl in the bed for days only getting up for bathroom visits terrible excretions from both ends simultaneously at times. We’ve come a long way and hopefully the cure is close for us all.
Micmel sorry you have a summer cold. But I’m happy to hear you are considering reducing or going off meds for some traveling. Reducing might be a solution. That way you won’t be at any risk for anything???
Santanarbarian sorry about the cold. I hope it doesn’t last long.
Simone80 that view is beautiful. It’s nice to see you out and enjoying a gorgeous day. Congratulations on your latest results.
Grannax that transfusion seems like a miracle. I’m glad you got some energy.
Moomala almond ice cream sounds glorious. Never tried it.
Chelle sorry it’s been a rough year for you. Check in anytime. We hold each other dearly here.
Love from Philly I’ve been resisting chocolate croissants but since it’s pocket food I’m gonna indulge.
Minnie I hope your friends visit is uplifting.
Mara51506 I do try to fix myself for visitors but sometimes it just doesn’t take. Sometimes I just want to be comfortable and they can get used to the “look”.
Candy678 I did have arthritis, not RA and so I never know which pain is which. Thanks for sharing news about a beautiful sunset. Thanks for prayers for us all.
Waving hello to rabbit Runor Divine Rosie and everyone else that I can’t remember.
Tanya
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Candy678, do your doctors really think that? From experience and much discussion with my cancer agency pain team and the pain clinic doctor who has been working with me too over this past year+ my understanding is that our opioids etc. go straight to the pain receptors, completely different than the addiction that some think might happen to us. We should not be living in pain~~we have enough to deal with. Best of luck with your cancer pain and your RA pain.
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Good Morning to all of you lovelies!
I am mostly a stalker...(lol); I do read a few threads every single day except on the weekends. With that said, I am so disheartened today to hear that Abeautifulsunset has a new diagnosis of Lepto, and Animalcrackers has passed away. Just now coming to grips with the passing of beautiful Gracie, now more bad news today. And where oh where is Micmel??? She hasn't posted since early yesterday morning!?!
Just feeling emotionally down and out today.....will this beast never stop taking away my beautiful BCO friends?
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Philly- Wow, a scrub down!!! Never had one. I am 2 years post mastectomy-Left-and I have had health care staff (nurses, CNA's, etc) see my one sided chest and the Oh So Pretty scars. But no one else. Good for you. Women need to see and understand it can happen to them also. Sisterhood. Nothing to be ashamed of. I will be praying for your MRI and keep us informed. Hope all is stable.
Tanya- Sorry to hear of your nausea and pain. Sending you good vibes from here.
Marianelizabeth- I don't have a pain clinic or a cancer pain team. Just my onc. Rural America and the opioid epidemic is prevalent here. Poverty and substance abuse. Last December I had an episode of cervical neck pain so bad I couldn't sleep lying down for a week. I have documented bone mets in cervical spine so MO thought they might be getting worse so she ordered an MRI and gave me 10 tablets of tramadol with no refills. The MRI showed disc bulging but bone mets stable. When I see my onc now she asks about my pain-where, level from 1-10, and what I use for pain control. When I tell her Tylenol Arthritis and it really doesn't help much, she offers no other solutions. My rheumatologist doesn't offer any solutions to the RA pain issues either.
Yeah where is Micmel??? You ok girl????
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Looking at you micmel, you’re getting roll-called, lol
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Mae, I love the funny cartoons.
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candy - my get up and go left me i think because things have just happened so fast, still haven't wrapped my head around what has happened. This is all very scary, i feel like i want to participate in the discussion more than I do but at the same time want to escape the reality and have been havingdifficulty especially lately getting out what i want to say.
Simone - those pictures by the arches and those by the river are beautiful! I hope you get to enjoy time with family
Moomala - that trip to the market and the hiking sounds wonderful
I love wondering a farmers market taking in the sights and smells I have made a summer salad in the past week that included peaches...blue cheese, bacon, tomatoes, red onion, scallions, EVOO drizzle with some light italian seasoning. It turned out great! I've been dealing too with pain, particularly in the upper back, it seems to go away in the recliner or when i'm laying down. mara - you braved that toilet dilemma better than I would of in the wee hours. I guess with all the crap we put up with when met with a challenge we're not afraid to put our hands in literal crap.
booboo - i think i'll use that tip of thinking about yummy food while in the scanner from now on...last time the only thing i could think to do is try and sing "she'll be coming around the mountain when she comes" - I had watched Three Amigo's the night before and my mind was brought to the singing bush part....I SHOULD of thought of the "Chup Chup Chup Chup Chup Nanny!!!" part or "Would you say I have a plethora?" part tho i might of moved from laughing so its good my mind went to the first thought first.
marian - your family photo is beautiful, what a beautiful family!
gumdoctor - glad infusion went well today and great to hear liver damage is healing a bit
Hoping good news is in store for you in a few weeks Philly - that scrub down sounds divine! Woo! When i had to have my bone biopsy to sternum, i was afraid to show my mastectomy scar and my port scar ( i didn't do recon) - lying on that table as they started uncovering my chest from the hospital gown, i could hear the male doctor and radiologist sigh deeply, their faces met mine - you could sense they felt for me - I think it was good for them to see it, to see what we go through, to see a breast not reconstructed. Enjoy girl time with your friend and will be in your pocket for your MRI when its time
Mason - i've been emotional lately too.. hearing about sunset's progression and seeing lita will be in hospice soon...
Offering homemade Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo for pocket duty...olive garden took it off the menu, so I've been making it myself at home. Sample away!
Waving to Mae, Tanya, Micmel
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Candy your doctors make me mad and sad and truly upset. I understand the opioid crisis and we have had hundreds of deaths here in BC this year alone but the cancer agencies (6 in BC) differentiate between cancer pain and addiction pain. My son had his wisdom teeth out on Friday and got 10 Tramadol. Is there a larger center not too far away that you check out for pain relief?
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Marianelizabeth- Thank you for caring. I can "hear" the concern for me in your post. There is a larger cancer center about a 2 hour drive away. But I am staying with my MO locally for now. I have always had some form of pain to deal with. I was diagnosed with the RA in 2014 but I think it was there for a long time before that. And I worked in a job for several years where I had to lift heavy objects. I have had low back problems for a long time too--now scans say "advanced degenerative disc to L5-S1". So I am no stranger to pain. Also I think I can be my own worst enemy. I hate taking meds so I don't press the issue with the docs. I don't want the drugged, drowsy feeling. And I already fight constipation so I don't want pain meds that will make it worse. If I get to the point where I can no longer deal with the pain, I will press the issue with my MO. I am sure the docs have to cover their butt also. The lawsuits now with pharmaceutical companies and the doctors for writing the prescriptions. Also the commercials now talk about using OTC pain patches versus a pain med script. I think that written scripts for opioids will soon be few and far between. Thank you for caring. Hugs.
Where is Micmel????????? Are you ok??????
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Looked back in posts. Last post from Micmel was Monday morning. Hopefully just busy with life. But are you ok???? Has anyone heard from her??
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I have not heard from micmel but she’s missed a day or two before. If we don’t hear from her by end of day tomorrow, I’ll send out the virtual search party.
Hope everyone else is ok and will have good scan/test results 😀
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Thanks Mae!
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Rabbit,
Wow. That dish looks yummy! It is weird, but if you let your mind go to food and the connection here, it makes the scan go faster. I would just like to hug whoever came up with the “being in your pocket” idea. What a wonderful way to support each other.
Okay, now I’m a bit worried about our girl Mel. Mae, if you send out the virtual “where are you” and get no response, I’m on it! I’ll give her a call.
Marioneliz....I totally agree with you. Most of the opioids were actually created for cancer patients. It wasn’t until the pharma industry realized how much money there was to be made and started marketing to orthopedics, etc. I was on several before deciding to stop taking them. Right now, I would pop just about anything to make the lower back pain stop. But that’s going to be a discussion with my new onc next week. Moving is hell on the back!
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I am worried for our Mel as well. It is not like to her to miss a couple of days, though I can understand hesitation to bother her in case she is just needing a rest from things. Hopefully she is alright.
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Hi Ladies ~. Lol @ Mae. Loving that!
My son gave me his terrible cold and of course itsettles into a sinus infection. I'm just sleeping it off. I hate cancer. But love you all! Ty for caring!
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Good day everyone. Packers and movers arrive here tomorrow morning, and DH and I will begin the long drive home. I will not be posting for at least 2 weeks, and it might be a bit longer. My best wishes to everyone and I will check in when we get home. Many thanks for the wonderful support found here. I will miss you all while driving. Catch you on the flip side!
Moving.....literally
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Mel, sorry about the sinus infection, glad to hear from you. Take all the time off you need to rest and get over the infection.
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Been gone for a bit. Technical difficulties with no phone lines and no internet. In the past few days when there was no Facebook to look at and no Netflix to take up evening time, Hub and I looked at each other like strangers. Fish out of water. What on earth did we used to do before he was plugged into Netflix and I was cruising the net in the computer room? Talk? Oh my god, about what?! Our conversations have mostly become those bulletin events, like the news. Breaking news: (me) the phone bill came, there is a leak in the hallway ceiling, I need a new carburetor for my truck and I think we need to butcher chickens this weekend. Him: I am out of clean underwear, the loader started on fire today and burned up completely, there is a tree down near the driveway that I'm going to buck up for firewood, yes we can butcher chickens this wknd. Conversation over. We go our separate ways with little interaction after that. But these last few days...brutal! Briefly he got some bright idea about getting frisky but I shot that out of the air. What are you thinking, Dude? We're not 20 anymore. Or 30 or 40 and 50 is fading in the rearview mirror.
Sometimes I think I am done with BCORG. Maybe time to move on. Maybe time to post less and pile more firewood. (winter is coming!) But I need this place, THIS PLACE, and while I am not able to keep everyone and everything straight in my head, I want to know, always, how all of you are doing. I missed my check-in. Seems these few days off line answered a question for me. Is it time to move along? Not yet. Not quite yet.
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Movingsoccermom- Safe travels. You will have a lot of reading to do if you are away from us gabbers for 2 weeks!!!!! LOL.
Micmel- Sorry you are under the weather. But glad you are ok. Had me worried. Rest well my friend.
So I did something different today. I have posted here about "retiring" from my career/job and the difficulty with transitioning to being out of the workforce. Divine posted I needed to think about my passions and what I want to do now that I am not working. Well I am still thinking about that. I love to read and I have been reading a lot but that is done in my own home and not really getting out or socializing. I am still thinking about my passions ( but I am kind of boring so I am struggling with that ). Then I thought about how I drive by a food pantry several times a week which is located on my side of town. So I went by there and asked the director if they needed another volunteer. He said Yes and I could come in as little or as much as I wanted. They are open to the public Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons. So this afternoon I volunteered there for a couple of hours. I told them I would be back next Wednesday and could I be a Wednesday worker. I will see how it goes and if I want to add another day later I can. So if I just do Wednesdays, I will have that for a couple of hours each week. And I feel I am helping others in need.
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Runor- You had better not leave us !!!!!!!! I love hearing from you. You write so beautifully and put into words exactly how I feel. Face it, you are a part of us now.
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Movingsoccermom~Have a safe and easy move. I know how much goes into it. Last time I did that I had a toddler and I was six months pregnant! I’ve been here 21 years July. Can’t imagine moving now! Hope you’re very happy in your new home. We will miss you!
Candy ~LOL @ being away from us gabbers for two weeks. That was truly funny.
Loved how Mae turned things around on me. With the role call! That is what a co founder does for sure. ! Love you woman!
Runor~Listen here darling. It’s not time for you to go anywhere. I adore you and you know this man! ( for all my Friday— the movie friends out there). You’re loved here! Sorry about your lack of internet. But your stories always make me smile.
Mara~Thank you darling It seems to always happen with librance buckle up for a ride with mister Effin cancer!
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runor:
"Briefly he got some bright idea about getting frisky but I shot that out of the air."
was a giant lol for me
so funny
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candy, what a good move to make, volunteering at the food pantry! You're smart to find something near where you live and giving a few hours of your time once a week—easy to get to and not overextending yourself. Proud of you!
Micmel, wishing you speedy recovery from the sinus infection!
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Hi all,
Wow, so many in pain-I hate it. It takes the joy out of life-I want it controlled for everyone STAT. and Micmel down with sinus issues-Ugh! Thinking of you all.
I had my second Taxol treatment today. it went way better than the first. adjusting better mentally to the idea of switching up treatments yet again.
loving our current weather here in Maine. 75 degrees daytime, 50 degree nights! My idea of heaven. Waiting for my first delicious garden tomato. (yes, very late this year) . Swamped with cukes, summer squash and zucchini! Ate about 20 lbs of chocolate zucchini cake and zucchini bread, not to mention 15 lbs of sliced cukes in vinegar.
had my pain in the butt driveway paved today. only about 30 years overdue. very happy with it
have we had any news of Parry? worried.
be as well as possible, dear ones....
Love Mary Jane
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Micmel, to be fair, you got roll-called by several of us, we can’t help but wonder when you go missing.
Nice to have you back runor 🙂
Dropped DH off at the airport this morning to begin his tour, I’m on my own for the next 2 months, no worries though, this is what we do and I admit I enjoy a little time to myself now and then.
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Candy-Good for you for volunteering!
Micmel-hope you are starting to feel better.
Mae-I'll be keeping my eye out for you at Riot Fest! I'm in general admission so I"ll just have to be looking longingly at you VIP's lounging at your bar.
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Chicagoan, I shouldn’t be hard to spot, I’m pre-packing this weekend, I’ll post my outfit pics soon. And come meet up a the VIP bar 😀🍹
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Runor,
I agree with everyone here. We love you, and your humor is so infectious. You are so honest and open about your feelings, and you write in a way that I feel like you are right next to me talking.
I also take breaks to readjust my thinking about MBC. We all have our ways to cope. But I’m like a lot of you who post when you can but read a lot.
Mel, so glad you are okay. Whew! Thought something bad happened. Rest and get well, my friend.
Candy, bless you girl. That is a wonderful way to spend some time. I may steal your idea and see if there are volunteer opportunities near me.
Maryjane, I envy your weather in Maine! I love it there. Was just up for a visit in July. We are preparing for Hurricane Dorian, our first hurricane since moving to FL. It’s supposed to hit the East coast, but we are preparing anyway just in case. Fingers crossed.
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BooBoo- Steal away. I have thought about other volunteer ideas, but some volunteer things are just like another full time job but with no pay. I don't want to go from my full time job/career to another full time job. That is why I stopped working- because of how I feel physically. So I wanted to do something that I can be more flexible with. I explained that to the food pantry director. He said I could come and go as I felt like it. So that appealed to me. I will continue to think about other things in my town. I am just concerned about commitment with the way I feel sometimes. The fatigue can really hit. And we all know that our futures are uncertain and things can change on a dime. But I like the volunteer thing- giving back you know.
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