My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Comments
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Mara, I’m sorry you’re dealing with family issues again. On one hand, I’m a screw them, cut out what’s not working kinda person but on the other, I have friends that I haven’t invited over since lockdown. It’s not that I don’t like them anymore, it’s just that with the risk to my health, I don’t want anyone in my house, I suspect one of my Sunday night regulars is feeling sad and left out. She’s been reaching out but honestly I’m just being kinda selfish, I’m tired and I don’t feel like making anyone else feel better right now. I hope you can find a comfortable place for them in or out of your everyday life.
Loving all the pet pics!
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Hi All,
Mae your skint elbow will be well scabby by now, I hope you've been back on the bike?
Mara hurray for your scans!
Candy sounding a bit better - posted over on Ibrance thread for you.
Mel you've got a real cottage industry going on the masks now.
And finally here's Fionn ( Finn) our half dug - he's our friend's but lives with us 3 days a week. This is his ' can you please make the rain go off?' face. Of course he's also sneaked onto the chair he's not allowed on...mine!
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That there is a dog that wants to go WALKIES. I like your coasters, especially the dreich one
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Sondra, thank you for your very good advice. That was something I had not thought of. I should just offer congratulations next time I see them. Thank you for the compliment on the wig as well. I will try to see it as half full going forward.
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Karen, what a cute puppers. So sweet.
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Tanya,
How are you feeling? How did the surgery go? Thinking of you.
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Mara - I think that was Chicagoan who suggested that.
(BTW I didnt realise that was a wig on you and was going to comment how cute your hair was in the mask photo!)
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Morning all.
Karen- I commented on your post on the Ibrance Thread. LOL.
mara- I am sorry your family let you down again. I have a sister that does that to me. Her family does things I do not get invited to, and I find out about them later. Not the cancer or Covid. This has been going on for years. Family can really hurt your feelings at times. Wow, I wasn't thinking wig when I saw your pic--- looks good.
Great pics of all your pets--- love them.
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Thanks everyone and thank you Chicagoan for suggestion the half full end of things. That advice and a really good conversation with my phone friend really helped. I realized that although I may have felt left out, these people are the people who would be there to help me with anything I asked for. I have to own the fact that I do not ask for help or company so of course DB and SIL would not know that.
It also helps to be able to talk, whether here or on the phone or even facebook to my friends because other ideas give me ideas on how to deal with life. My friend on the phone pointed out that I don't stress out about the single biggest issue I have. I asked her what that was and she asked if I was serious. I didn't know what she was talking about until she said cancer, I do not stress about the cancer the same way I worry about other stuff. I realized she is right, until my cancer does something different, it is not among my persistent worries. She said if I can process this disease, I should be able to learn to process other things better too. I had to agree with her on that. That is what I will do going forward. Stop obsessing over stupid day to day things and just take time to breathe. And put myself on the treadmill for 5 mins if an obsessive negative thought enters. Thank you all for listening to me.
Thank you for the complements on the wig. I have a couple versions of that wig in different colours and another asymmetrical one. They are paula young. Not too pricey and not so poofy that they look unreal. I always try to pick ones with roots and they last a long time. Finger styling and fabric softener spray goes a long way. They look even cuter under a cap.
Tanya, I hope things are better for you as well. Will be glad to hear from you soon. And again, thank you Chicagoan for an additional perspective. Time to pull up socks and pull my self together.
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Mara you got such sage advice. I love it!
Booboo Monday is the nerve burning surgery. Kind of looking forward to it ( sick of back pain) and kind of scared. Thanks for asking.
I love the garden and have never seen such a quaint scene.
Tanya
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I will be in your pocket Tanya when you have the nerve burning surgery. The lack of pain will be such a good thing and give you so much more qol. So glad for you.
I did forget to mention the english garden, looks so quaint and I love it.
Candy, thank you too, you are so kind and I do appreciate.
Mel, I hope your day is going well and I hope your dog is feeling better.
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Ok Miss Tanya....in your pocket for Monday. I'll bring Toffee Bars. Big hit around the infusion center. Can sharethe VERY easy recipe if anyone is interested.
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Tanya- In your pocket Monday for the surgery. Hope successful and less pain.
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Wear big pockets Tanya
mara, thank you darlin. He's limping along. Just anold dude. The painful thing is not knowing when time is here. Both of us love him so much
Waving to BooBoo... Mae....Simone....Bliss....Rosie....moth....Dodgers...KBL ...Chicagoan.....MJH...Candy......BevJen.....Karen...Sondra..
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in your pocket Tanya for your surgery. I'm sure your neurosurgeon is top notch and has GOT this. It's got a scary name but it's going to work and bring you pain relief so it will all be worth it!
I've enjoyed the photos. I'll see if I can find some of my gone guys & Olive.
mara, i thought that was super weird what your brother and sil did. I'd find it very hurtful to not have even been told about something like that, esp when you see them frequently. But the more stories i hear, I guess I'm realizing that all families are weird sooner or later. I'm sure they had their reasons. And ultimately I suspect we all screw up - I know I have and looking back over some ways I handled things around family and special occasions etc, I'd do it differently if I had a mullligan. So you're wise to cut them slack and move on as graciously as possible.
Granna- darn, sorry it's not the progression free result. How long have you been on current treatment? Any chance it's one of the ones that takes time to kick In? Honestly, I learned a lot about stage 4 treatments by looking at peoples sig lines and seeing how people move through the drugs; ave me an idea of what i might be doing if I have to come off.
Nicole and candy- thinking of you guys
Mel - still thinking about your doggo too
I'll need pocket friends on Monday please - port insertion surgery at 1400 PDT.
I was thinking that we cover a number of time zones so we really could be the thread that never sleeps lol
Hugs to everyone! Oh hey in my chemo room, one of the floating nurses - not assigned pts, just floats to whoever needs help, gives distance hugs. She hugs herself, and the person she's hugging hugs themselves. It's adorable.
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moth- In your pocket for Port surgery. I have a port. Honestly I do not remember much about the surgery---let me explain. I was diagnosed with cancer, had a mastectomy, and a port placed, and started IV chemo all within 6 weeks. I was in shock. No family history of cancer. Shock. When I found out about the Stage 4 less than a month after that, and stopped the IV chemo, I asked MO if we could remove the Port. MO said no. Said I may need IV chemo again and that way we would have it in place already. That was 3 years ago. I still have it. I get it flushed monthly. It kind of pokes out (due to my skinniness) and my bra strap rubs it, but otherwise I do not think about it. Take care.
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you have pocket dwellers Monday for sure! Rowdy crowd usually. I’ll behave. I promise.
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For Tanya on Monday and I’ll need you all on Monday 8/31 for big scan day. Let’s all find a spot.
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Just popping in to say hi. Love all the pet pics. Went shopping today, spent way too much money but it was sure nice to get out of the house.
I'll be in your pocket Monday Tonya and moth! Mea, yours on 8\31. I have a scan coming up on 9\1, looking for people to jump in my pockets after Maes.
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Moth, Mae, you definitely are getting pocket duty from me. I am bringing the Dad's oatmeal cookies with Kraft peanut butter in the middle. If I find the pirate cookies, I will bring those. I will also bring reese peanut butter cups as well. They are so yummy.
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You got it Simone and thanks Mara!
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Jotting down dates next to my computer. Hugs.
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Lots to jot down! We are busy ladies. Seems like August is especially busy for us. I’ll be getting bloodwork and xgeva shot within a few weeks. Just love that! I’ll see onc in September and he’ll say scan in three months after that. Last time I scanned was March. So six months But I run 9 to 12 month scan times. Well see what he says this time. Scanxiety I just don’t need or want. Damn scans. Just something that always seems to come around no matter how long in between them.
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The pet pics were great! I don’t have any pets but enjoy pictures of friends’ and family dogs & cats.
I’m in for pocket duty for Moth and Tanya this Monday, then Mae and Simone the following week. Good luck to you all. 🤞🤞🤞🤞
Mara, One more note about your B and SIL not mentioning their vow renewal. I can relate, sorry this is kind of long. One of my sons got married (he lives about 7 hours away), and told me with an email, as in btw we got married on Saturday. I was very hurt not to have been there. Apparently they were planning something very small, but her parents and sister were there, which is mostly why I was hurt. It turned out he dreaded being the center of attention (not really surprising) and didn’t want to “make” his family go all that way. She was honoring his wishes, she said. I think they realized it wasn’t very considerate to invite one side but not the other, but too late. Eventually I decided I needed to let it go so we could move on and not have it come between us. We visited a few months later and brought them a gift. Mara, you’re so wise to congratulate your B and SIL as you mentioned and try not tonot dwell on it any further.
Hello to everyone. I’m still hoping for Moomala to check in. 🌻
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I spent most of my adulthood estranged from my father and step monster. My dd got engaged during the estrangement time frame. We didn’t even mention it to that side of that family. When I got married again, My DH and I had a very very small ceremony that was just he and I and a witness. We just wanted romance. Or maybe they didn’t mention it because they didn’t expect anything from you. I agree saying nothing negative about it is the best thing to do. I was glad I didn’t invite anyone from that side... I am still glad it was just Dh and I it was so romantic alone just us. No one could afford anything anyway and we both had been married already. If it was a vow renew. I wouldn’t invite many people either honestly. You’re handling this beautifully!!
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Thanks for the support all and I’ll be there for you moth for port placement. Mae I’ll be with you on the 31st. Thanks for loaning us the big pocket sweater and the snacks sound delightful.
Does anyone remember the magic traveling pants movie? That’s going to be Maes big pocket sweater for us. Mel can you add some fringe or sparkles? Something crafty chic.
Tanya
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Mae,
Count me in for pocket duty on the 31st. I know this one is big for you.
Moth, Simone, same thing. It is so cool to think we are all in those big pockets when you are laying on the scan table. Makes me chuckle every time.
Mel, hugs for you, my beautiful friend. I have worn 3 of the masks when out and about. I pick colors that go with my outfit (which is always T-shirt and capris). Love them.
I, too, am hoping Moomala checks in soon. Miss her and am worried about her pain.
Love to all.
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Yeah where is Moomala? Miss her. And Philly.
Today is like Christmas morning. I went shopping--early, before crowds-- to Dollar store. Got to get out of house, woohoo. Then I asked cashier about Lysol spray and Lysol wipes. (Did I post on this Thread about looking on Amazon for Lysol spray-- $25 a can !!!!!) Anyway, cashier said she had 6 cans hidden behind the counter. Said people have been stealing them or hording them. So I bought 2 cans ($6 vs $25) and a tub of Lysol wipes. The spray should get me through several months--- I use it on trash cans, cat litter pan, and shoe soles when getting home from places. The wipes will last a llloonngg time because I use them on the cart handles when I go to the Dollar store weekly. Wow, what we get excited about anymore. Never would have thought it would come to this.
I was thinking the other day. Seems with Covid there are 2 groups---1. Those that hunker down, doesn't do much shopping, doesn't go to gatherings, doesn't go out to eat or to theaters. Some working from home or schools that are closed. And 2. Those that act like nothing is different. Still attends church, still eats out, still goes to what activities/festivals that have not been cancelled. I am in group 1. I have many friends that are in group 2. Weird when you think about it.
Well I had my outing today. Rest of weekend inside my house.
Hope everyone is doing ok.
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Candy, so glad you found some. It's great that you asked. I kept thinking if I found any, I would have mailed it to you.
I might be in a third group. I don't go too many places, grocery store, visit daughter and her family, doctors' appointments, testing facilities, and yesterday I finally went to a restaurant for breakfast. We ended up in the back, and the only people that passed us were the workers. I just wanted to go out to a restaurant. Figured breakfast was best bet. I go with my husband places just for a ride, but I stay in the car when he goes in, places like Sam's where it's always busy. I haven't seen my sister in months, and she lives right up the street. We talk on the phone. I miss her.
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KBL, I think I am the 3rd group too. For the most part I stay home, but I do go to the stores once in awhile. It feels nice to get out of the house once in awhile and do some shopping. I still go to the dentist and doctor appointments.
Candy it's nice the cashier let you buy some of her stash. It's hard to believe people are still hoarding. We went to the grocery store last week and the cleaning supply isle was empty.
I was thinking about moomala also. Haven't heard from Minnie for awhile either.
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