My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Candy,
Good score! Like you said -- the things that make you happy in these weird times.
I am probably in group 3 -- we don't go out much to anywhere except the grocery store or CVS (by necessity for prescriptions, etc.) But my son, DIL, and granddaughter live less than a mile from our house. They, too, are staying put for the most part -- working from home, go to grocery every 3 weeks only, etc. -- so we get to see them on a regular basis. We have eaten "out" two times since all of this started -- both for breakfast at the same place that has outdoor tables that are VERY socially distanced. Went at a non crowded time bc we wanted to avoid the crowds. Our adult daughter, who lives alone, has been staying with us for long stretches because it's no fun to isolate alone. When she's not with us, she pretty much stays away from people.
Strange times we live in, that's for sure!
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Well I would say there are Group 1, Group 1b with restrictions, And Group 2. What I mean is Group 1 would stay inside all the time. Group 1b would go out occasionally. And Group 2 lives life like there is no Covid. I go weekly to Dollar store--early bird shopping to be away from crowds. But otherwise make purchases online with delivery or curbside pickup. I do go to the doctor or get labs/scans done--- I forgot to say that, but we really cannot stop doing that with our cancer. Otherwise I am inside. I would be a Group 1, with minimal Group 1b actions.
My point was that some live like there is no Covid. I have one friend that is still in the workforce, so he works 8 hour days Mon-Fri. He is around his co-workers and customers. Then he goes out to eat at a restaurant--dine in eating- each night. Yes he is single and doesn't cook, so he eats out A LOT. He attends church every Sunday. He has went to car show festivals (the ones that haven't closed). He hangs with his buddies on the weekends. He shops in stores when he needs something--doesn't hesitant, if he needs something, he goes and gets it. And he is not the only one that does all this. I know of several people that are living their lives no different than before Covid. Just kind of weird and irks me some to be hunkering down inside, only going out for necessities, while others are not sacrificing at all, that I can see.
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I would be group 1 for the most part. Most of my shopping is in the morning. I do go out a fair bit but that is mostly for walking outdoors, occasionally turns into another grocery store shop. Clothes, I purchase online at a store I am used too. Mostly enjoy yoga type pants and T shirts. I have eaten in a fast food place when I walk to pick up my stock of junior burgers for the week. I just have a meal so I can be ready to walk home. Have not seen many people hanging around the restaurant though. I still wonder what the kids going to school in Canada will do to our relatively low covid numbers here. I may stock up on more supplies just in case. I have already bought a lot of hand sanitizer from both my dollarama website. 90.00 for 72 purell hand sanitizer and a LOT of sanitizer, rubbing alcohol both from the grocery store and also the pharmacy I deal with. I have plenty. I also make sure to use the store sanitizer too. Sanitize when I leave my building including my keys and even just checking the mail. Sanitize again after returning home. I cannot walk up stairs without a railing.
Today for me is a quiet day. Don't feel like dealing with the heat so am sticking to indoor treadmill work. About 20 mins per walk, not too fast and I want at least 2 hours of walking. I am still gaining weight BUT the food keeps my energy up. I have cut back on certain things like chocolate etc but would like to return to my previous weight of 180.00. That was a good weight for me since I am very large hipped. Not going to diet but just increase walking. Still in everyone's pocket for next week though.
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I think I’m 1b, home mostly but I mask up for the grocery, medical treatment and do go to safer places (like camping) on occasion but no crowds or inside dining, at least not yet. The positivity rate in Houston needs to go way down before I increase my risk.
Oh yeah, and two tropical storms coming my way back to back. Minor storms, so not worried but geez...
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I guess our cancer diagnosis and meds makes us the Group 1 or Group 1b people. I often wonder if I didn't have cancer and low white counts, how would I act in the Covid world we are in. I would still be in the workforce (cancer caused the early retirement) so I would be at work around co-workers. I might have continued to go to stores for my groceries vs the online/curbside I am doing now. I like picking out my groceries myself versus having them bagged up for pickup. I do not think I would have went to church in person because that is hugging, shaking hands, singing---I am a pretty cautious person. I do not think I would gather at activities or go out to eat since there is so much news out there about these being high risk activities--- me cautious person. But with the cancer/low counts, it has scared me (respect of the virus sounds better) to stay indoors mostly. I guess those without cancer do not understand since they do not have the serious illness. They think if they get Covid they may feel cruddy, but they will get over it. We have to see things differently, don't we. I am fighting this cancer, I do not want a virus taking me out after all this time of fighting the cancer.
Just thinking aloud. Thanks for listening to me.
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My family is all still essentially in quarantine. We do deliveries or curbside pickup. If we need more ingredients or a pharmacy run, dh goes and he's wearing an n95. I only go out for medical appts, also in a n95. He's working from home.
Dd is an RN. She works in a non covid area (surgical) is always masked and goes straight in the shower after work.
My poor ds, the most extroverted of all of us hasn't seen anyone but us since March. I worry about him. We walk in our neighbourhood a lot. It's usually empty.
We are planning on camping next month.
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Besides wanting to avoid getting sick, I don't want my treatment stopped because I have contracted a serious illness. Just before the covid restrictions I had started getting together with a particular group of friends; we were going to do regular girls night out. I was thrilled to be doing something so normal after my various cancer tribulations. Now I only have texts from them and photos of them getting together without me. Sad face.
You know, I think maybe my family should try the camping idea. Something short and easy. As if camping is ever easy. Phooey.
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ShetlandPony, lol about camping and easy. I hear ya. But dh and I have camped at least once a year ever since we started dating... We think it was 1986 or 87? Pregnant, with babies, with toddlers, with kidney stones, with many dogs, with a cat lol. Every year. In 2018 we went the day after I finished my last taxol. So far our kids have never missed joining us either. It's been a nice thing.
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Its pretty hard to be Group 2 here, and Group 1 was essentially the 'shielding' group - I got my letter 3 months too late telling me to do that. Oh well. More or less due to having WFH set up, the workout gear at home, the garden, and shopping within walking distance there really is no reason for me to go anywhere. I want something, I just order it online and it comes in the mail. Some days I realize I haven't actually left the house in a few days and need to force myself to go for a walk. My friend who lives a few doors down is at their vacation home in Greece right now, but when they return it will still be outdoor entertaining and covid awareness (mother in law lives with them).
Public transport is getting busier - it was standing room only for part of the journey to the H last week. I dont need my cane anymore but I take it with me so I am guaranteed a seat. People are for the most part giving space and wearing face masks, though. Monday I have to go in to the office to swap out some IT (and have lunch with a friend) and that has all been highly choreographed to limit contact and number of people around.
This morning I finally got a slot at a lap pool and it was fantastic! Sure I had to leave the house at 6 am and take the train about a half hour, but it was great to be actually swimming again in an actual lap pool. No showers, but at least the changing rooms were open. One gal even remarked to me about how excited she was to be swimming again for the first time in six months! I've booked to go again next Saturday morning as it was so nice to get out of the neighborhood, do something different, and see different people. Unfortunately this outdoor pool is NOT heated (it was definitely bracing) so I don't know what they are going to do later in the year as it is open 365 days. I'm hoping by that point I will have finally got through to my more local pool to get a booking number, or try the other option a little further away.
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I highly recommend a quick camping getaway, it was amazing just to be outside and having fun while seeing other people (from a distance).
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Welllll, as to the groups I think I’m either in group 1b or 3! Most of time at home, odd occasion in a shop or meeting friends outside and a fair bit of time outdoors walking the pooch. Sondra, I def get the swimming thing and really miss it. You need to spend some time in Scotland I think!
Candy sounding much more like yourself.
I hate the whole cancer battle / fight thing, but I do like to be a warrior... maybe it’s just the word!
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I have a word for it !!! (Cuss words) brutal evil terrorist cellular asshole. (Sorry). Lol group 1b here! Occasional store attendee
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BooBoo~ it makes me happy that my masks are getting use. I am enjoying giving them to my sisters. I love the patterns and colors. Thank you for mentioning how much you like them.... makes my heart smile. Hope you’re feeling better. Thinking of you.
Moomala~I hope you’re ok. We’re worried !
Runor~ miss your wonderful person. Hello keepsake!
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they say you’ll know when it’s time to put down your dog. Sigh 😢 I know we’ve reached that time. This morning he was whining for no reason and barking and yelping like he has never done before. I grew concerned it was because of pain. He stopped during the day, but he can’t even get up without helping him up now and he falls over a shoe. He can walk very unsteady and he isn’t with it anymore. DH called to vet that comes to the house and takes care of it. She said make him his most favorite treat. As much as he wants. While he eats that. She gives him a strong narcotic to make him sleepy. He then falls asleep and she finishes her euthanasia. She said our other dog Deeohgee must come and see tag to understand what has happened or he will be looking and anxious about where his brother went. I was a puddle when I heard that. They have been together for at least 11 years. They do everything together. My heart is so heavy. Harder part of owning them. Is this decision right here. But it has to be done. Sucks out loud.
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I'm so sorry, Mel. I totally understand how bad it sucks. My guy will be my sixth one to pass when he goes. My little doxie has been cuddling up and sleeping next to him a lot lately.
I looked it up, and it says they can sense when it's getting close. I think she knows it's coming before we do. The picture I posted was one example. This was today.
Please know you are in my thoughts. A big virtual hug to you.
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Micmel, I hurt for you and I’m so sorry. I do believe it’s true that the dog should understand. I’ve seen our dogs look for the others that passed before them, it’s heartbreaking.
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KBL~Ty. Deeohgee kept him in sight all day long lyes next to him. On his dog bed. Tag was in the bed and Deeohgee was on the floor watching him. I’m wondering if he’s aware. He’s even changed his laying spot. Dogs are amazing. And yes they are so innocent and sweet. Cats too of course. They just love us until they Just love us until they can’t anymore. Love the pic. Little buddies. Best friends. !
My buddy younger days So beautiful.0 -
Mae~I know it makes sense but I haven't got the heart to do that. I can barely handle it. I don't want him looking for him. That would be sad. This whole thing sucks because anyway you shape it. Im losing a dog this week. He can't go on with his legs. We waited all we could. I think we just feel badly doing this to him. What a crap deal.
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I have always had my dogs come say goodbye. I get it if you can't. You have to do what's right for you. Here is what I read.
Your guy is very handsome. Thank you for sharing.
My guy has lost so much weight, you can see his hip bones. He still eats and drinks, but he's lost the muscle in his back legs and collapses periodically. They sound alike.
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Mel, I’m sorry you are at this point with your beloved Tag. I haven’t been in your position but your words really communicate how it is to know his time is near after so many years. 💕
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Mel, sorry to hear about Tag. It's never easy losing a pet.
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I have let my pets in to see the other pet who has died. It makes it concrete. They understand 'dead'. One dog was in love with one of our cats and when the cat died, we let the dog see her... you could see the dog realize the cat was dead immediately.
Similarly when my Dad died I made sure to let his beloved dog come up on the bed and see him and see that he had died. He was not interested in doing much sniffing, he knew it right away.
So sorry you are going through this but glad you are a strong person who can act with compassion
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Micmel, I am so sorry. Brave of us, isn't it, to take those pups home knowing we will have to say that goodbye far too soon. There is no good way through this. It just damn well hurts. Big hug for you and your sweet dog.
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Mel, I am so sorry about Tag as well. You and your DH are doing the kindest thing for him and that is such a peaceful way for him to pass. He won't know any pain or fear. I will say it is a good idea for the other dog to be around for his passing.
Although this is kind for him, I know how heartbreaking it is to lose a furry family member after that many years. Know that I am thinking of you and your whole family and other pet as well.
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Mel,
I don’t cry very often, but my heart is breaking for you knowing what you are going through. Take comfort in knowing that you gave him the best love, home, and life a dog could have. He will be with you, in your heart, forever. I believe we will be reunited with our furry babies when we die. He will be waiting for you on the rainbow bridge.
If you need to talk, I’m here.
Love and big hugs,
Booboo
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Oh, Mel,
I am so sad for you. But you are doing the right thing. We love our pets, and that means that when they are hurting and can no longer go on, we must help them along their path. I really feel for you.
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Mel- I am sitting at my computer crying as I read your post about how the vet does it.... " make his most favorite treat, as much as he wants...". God I hate death. I am ready for Heaven, a place where there will not be any more death. It is hard living in this life.
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Dear friends (well I consider you as such as I’ve known you since I found this board last year after diagnosis):This is my first time posting and it is Mel’s pup situation that brought me now. Mel - what you have to do is the greatest act of love any pet owner faces. It is also the most difficult. My heart breaks for anyone facing this and my tears flow for each pet that needs help to cross the rainbow bridge. I could never work in a vet office.
So my story is that I was originally dx at 34, recurrence at 44 and MBC dx at 64, 2 weeks b4 we moved from Ohio to Wisconsin. Have been blessed with no progression since treatment began in September. We moved to be closer to our grandkids and are 3 hours away instead of 9. I would have loved to be closer but my husband is an ob/gyn and was not ready to retire. As a 64 yr old male you are a dinosaur in your speciality and as such, not really marketable material. But he found a gyn only practice in a small (5000 pop) rural community and is now working 32 hours a week instead of 70! Wonderful life style change at age 65.
But then this crazy Covid hit and like many, I am housebound. I only have one kidney and some mets are in my lungs which are easily susceptible to viruses. So between that and the drug regimen (it as reassuring to see that Ibrance as a targeted therapy puts one at higher risk for Covid based on the recent symposium) I only go to medical appointments. I fear this virus and what would happen to me if I got it. Plus the long term problems are unknown right now. So no seeing grandkids. I keep busy doing papercrafting - scrapbooks and 3D projects. And we have 3 golden retrievers - the youngest who is almost 2 is ball obsessed and wants to play outside every couple hours. So it is let dogs out, let dogs in multiple times during the day! But these pups are my personal therapy. They are truly intuitive to my needs and respond accordingly. Our 8 yr old requires daily cuddling at 4pm so that is when I sit on the couch with a glass of wine, watch HGTV and get cuddles with sometimes 2 of our dogs until my husband gets home from work.
I too share severe back pain. 4 yrs ago I discovered I had severe lumbar scoliosis, likely adult onset due to severe degenerative processes (I am full of advanced osteoarthritis in most joints) Had multiple visits with all sorts of specialists and they all wanted to do the nerve ablation procedure but our insurance would not cover it. So we were able to compromise on regular 3 month steroid injections into my SI joints for relief. After moving and dealing with the MBC it took som time to get into a pain management program but I have been able to get the initial steps done and I am on my way to get nerve block test injections b4 proceeding to the nerve ablation. I am very interested to get feedback from the folks having this done. At present my back issues affect my QOL more than MBC (although I do have nasty afternoon fatigue from the drugs) Walking to our mailbox at the end of the driveway is so difficult. What puts this all into perspective is knowing that there are people out there who have it worse than me. I have always said if we threw our shoes in a big pile I would make sure to get mine back as I know what’s inside them!
You are all a wonderful group of women. I can help with pocket duty and prayers (I know not all are believers).
And lastly, a pic of the pups. Gamble, 8, Mariah, 2 and Bella, 10.
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Mel - best wishes as you go through this sad period with your dogs. As much as the right thing hurts to do, it must be done. May it be quick and full of love as you send him on his way.
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GoldensRbest- Welcome. Good to meet a fellow believer. Post more often. Love the pic. I am a pet person, just more of a cat person. Actually never had a dog, always cats in our family.
Keep posting.
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