My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Mel,
I’m just like you. I like to wait things out. I’m a professional “faller”. My personal specialty is falling off curbs (more like bouncing). Thedownside of waiting is you never know if you really have thrown a bone out of place, or cracked something. So from one waiter to another, please get checked out. X-rays are quick in and out. Just don’t want you to be in pain when you don’t have to.
Big hugs,
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I agree with others, I think hospital may be the place to go, short term pain for long term gain. I understand you are horrifically bruised and where you landed was bad but it should be subsiding a bit day by day. If it is still intense, make sure you get checked out and even if you have not cracked anything, you may need something stronger for the pain in the meantime.
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Mel - have you tried alternating ice and heat? That might help.
Hub’s MRI came through last nite. He has an 11 inch hematoma running from knee to ankle. Not sure how that will be treated. He says the body can absorb the blood over time but since he’s had pain for 6 weeks doesn’t seem to be a good idea. On the other hand since he’s on blood thinners, trying to drain it can cause more bleeding. The radiologist felt the bubbles that were seen are a result of “vacuum phenomenon” due to severity of degenerative disease in knee joint. At least for now we’ve seemed to rule out the cellulitis/gangrene possibility. Hopefully some treatment plan will be established soon.
Thank you all for your support
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Goldens,
Wow. That seems to be a large hematoma. I"m sure they will figure things out, and the fact that your DH is a physician will help him through. But great news that the bubbles aren't what you thought.
Mel,
I'm with others here. I would get the darn X-ray just to make sure you haven't broken anything. Things should be clearing up, and it doesn't sound like they are.
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Morning all.
Goldens- Wow. How did he get the hematoma? Does he remember hurting himself?
Not much going on here. I am to get the Covid vaccine tomorrow afternoon (Wednesday). I have not heard anything so far, so I hope the appointment is still a go. Hear on the news that some people are having their appts cancelled due to lack of vaccine delivery. I hope I am able to get it. It will not change my life any--- I will still isolate and stay in my house. But, I think, it will give a measure of relief that if I am exposed accidently that I either won't get sick or get a lesser bout of it. But with the variants going around, maybe that is a false sense of security.
How I wish Covid would go away. I have been thinking about volunteering options I can do when Covid is controlled. And just to go out to eat with a friend sounds good. And church in person on Sundays. What we took for granted before Covid.
Yesterday was a rough day for me, mentally. Just the quiet and loneliness getting to me.
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Mel you could always go to one of those emergency walk-in urgent care places to avoid hospital.
Goldens that’s certainly. Enter news on your DH prognosis.
Rosie24 pocket duty for your upcoming liver ablation.
Candy that great that you have a vaccine appt. I think I’ll also still be careful even after vaccine but I’ll feel a little sigh of relief.
Off week of ibrance but I still feel fatigue etc. I did go to local cheap store and got some flowers pots. Something to look forward to doing.
Waving hello to all.
Tany
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Goldens hoping your husband gets a treatment plan soon.
Pocket duty for Rose too.
Mel, hope you are getting looked at or getting some pain relief.
Tanya, glad you found something you want to do.
I did not go out today. Just sat around on the couch and did surveys, watched TV as well. Very relaxing.
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Goldens, thanks for updating us & I hope the hematoma resolves. It's certainly a better dx than the other alternatives.
Mel - girl, I'm sorry you're still feeling butt pain! You need this gone!
Rosie - I'm so excited for your ablation! Your IR sounds great.
Tanya - I'm planting planning as well! Been looking at seed catalogue and the bulb store. I'm trying to figure out a space for dahlias. Used to grow them when I had a 1000 sq ft community garden plot. Our gardens now are more shady. I love having the creek and a huge stand of mature evergreens but it does mean my sunny spots are limited. I should embrace shade gardening more. What do you think you'll be planting in your pots?
I had my immunotherapy today at the private clinic which always seems out of some supplies. They're teeny tiny so don't have inventory and have to bring in all their supplies for the day I guess? Today they didn't have the 3/4 in needles to access my port so I got a 1 inch which means it stuck out and wasn't as secure...oh well. I got the treatment so it's all good.
I'm going to take a walk and then am planning to do some yoga.
hugs
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much better today. Just trying to stay off of it as much as I can. Sure did take a bad fall. That's no fun people. Don't do it. Thanks ladies for asking. I appreciate it so much.
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Checking in and getting caught up again.
KBL, my belated condolences to you and family for your brother's passing. When my father's cancer returned for a 3rd time, it took him in 3 mos. I was in denial that he would be gone so quickly. It is very shocking when it happens so fast. Hugs.
Mel, I'm sorry you took a fall and are in pain, but concur you need an x-ray!
Goldens, that's good news for your DH. My heart stopped when I read gangrene and possible amputation!
Rosie24 pocket duty for your upcoming liver ablation.
Candy, lucky you for a vaccine appt. Hope it doesn't get canceled. I'm still trying to get one for my 88 yo mother.
Mae, your Bernie meme was cute, and I do love that water view for cocktails!
Celebrating all the good news and wrapping my virtual arms around those struggling.
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Thank you, Bliss. I am thinking of him every day. He wanted a green burial and will be buried tomorrow. I’m sorry about your dad.
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I've done some research on a green burial. It's beautiful and so intimate for the people closest to the person. What a lovely choice. May it be a peaceful thing. Sending strong hugs
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Bliss~always good to see a familiar face. I hope you’re doing well and have stayed healthy through this craziness we all call Covid life.
Humans are resilient creatures. We just putter along and adapt. Are we the experiments in this big geranium of someone else’s life? Are we the monkeys in the cage eating bananas and wanting cucumbers?. Are we the hamster that gets injected while pepper the hamster next to me gets a placebo.? We just don’t know what we will deal with. I do know I’m sick of the medical world. It’s been along time since I’ve scanned and I haven’t missed the feeling or even thinking about it. I forgot about the smells and the helplessness I feel walking back. I have till March. But the calendar doesn’t lie. It’s coming Just like game of thrones. “Winter is coming”. “Scanning is coming”.0 -
Runor - I'm sorry things have been hard. I spent yesterday crying on and off about similar things and today started crying again talking with my mom about it. I try really hard to save my crying spells for times when I am alone. My folks and friends already carry the burden of this with me, I feel worse adding any more to that. Like you I hate my hair. I had long, curly hair like Merida from the Disney movie. Now I have frizzy, short, thinning hair that is partially straight on top. I miss a lot of things about my pre-cancer body but my hair I miss the most. I tried dieting, thanks to the lovely hormones I can eat almost nothing and not lose weight and since that isn't sustainable I decided it was easier to not wear real pants. I love my sweats around the house and if I have to wear real pants to go somewhere, I wear my jeans a size big and try to keep them up with a belt. I am built with a square torso, a rounded belly and a flat butt. I hear you, the struggle is real. I think this is all just part of the cancer journey. I tell people all the time it wasn't chemo or radiation or getting my stage 4 diagnoses that was the hardest for me, the big stuff I handle pretty well. For me it's the little things, the hair loss, the weight gain, the feeling like I have aged twenty years in two. I continue to live with stage 4 and have every intention of doing so for a long while, but in many ways I lost my life. I lost who I was. That is what I've had to grieve and learn to live with. I don't like to go out in public any more. I miss life where we could even do that without masks and all the stupid political and social crap that Covid has wrought on us. I still work and having that helps keep me out of my own head but work can be depressing too. It's harder than it used to be for me physically and I feel like I'm not as good or efficient as I used to be. On my days off I make myself a list of things to do to keep myself motivated. I've found a lot of support on this thread. Sometimes it's good to know I'm not fighting this alone. Sometimes I take a break from it for a bit and try to focus on things non-cancer related. More often than not I like to lose myself in Netflix or a good long sleep.
Hugs to you, and to everyone here. Cancer sucks and covid sucks and right now the world just feels a little harder to deal with. I hope you are all finding something today to smile at.
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Thank you, Mel. Hugs back.
Emac, I can’t add anything to what you’ve said, but I want you to know I totally understand everything you’ve written. I have my grandson, who I get to be with a lot. I think he’s saved me from thinking 24/7 about this crap.
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Mel, I still have to scan every 3 months, I've never lasted on any one treatment long enough to spread my scans out, and I still see my oncologist every 3 weeks, so I get where you're coming from about being over the whole thing, speaking of which, all things going well, I am having my first navelbine infusion tomorrow, I hope this one doesn't try to kill me like the last one.
On a happy note, I got to spend the day with Finn, the last weekday before he goes back to school next week.
Hi and hugs to everyone 🤗
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Cross posting. Got this invite in my email this morning about clinical trials and thought I'd share.
Join us for our free webinar: Clinical Trials 101
Join Ciitizen members Sheila McGlown, Alyson Tischler and Abigail Johnston along with our friends at Survivingbreastcancer.org this Sunday, January 31st at 4 PM ET for a lively and interactive discussion on clinical trials.
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Hubs had lengthy talk with radiologist, PCP and Ortho. Ortho has never seen a case like this and he’s 60! He and PCP say hubs should be off feet as much as possible. Both say wear compression stocking. He meets with cardio specializing in electrophysiology today about failed afib. None of the docs feel the heart problem is related to the knee other than he is on blood thinners which probably contributed to the size of the hematoma.
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emac- Yes. I totally understand your post.
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emac~Hitting home For sure with those true reality of words for us all. Birds of a feather. Cancer is cruel. I have seen some Good though since. Small surprises. Even from here. From sweet ladies. Cards. Fabric. Sharing. Like my masks. Anyone wants some Updates or new ones let me know. I just want to be happy, I want us to be happy all of us. We deserve to be happy. Not anxious and stressed everyday. If I could stay like this. I could be ok. I’m afraid of change.
Goldens ~thinking about you and DH. Sending vibes of goodness to you . I hope he’s going to be just fine.
Candy~ hello darling. hello Mae. Hello everyone I missed. I’ll be back.
pain is a lot better today. Thank goodness! Less pain happier Micmel!0 -
showing up for any pocket duty needed today with snacks and hugs.
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Bliss, thank you for the link.
Goldens, that’s got to be scary stuff. I hope he heals quickly.
Candy, vaccine today?
I have a question. Has anyone had this happen? This is not bruising. It pops up out of nowhere and goes away. Happens once or twice a month. So strange. I do have anemia.
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KBL- Yes vaccine today-- in about an hour. I have not had that bruising/discoloration. But I do not have much anemia issues with Ibrance, just the low white counts.
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KBL - my belated condolences to you. Not sure what to say about your skin discoloration. I would probably email my MO about it.
Emac - I completely understand what you are going through. I am sure there are a lot on here that feel the same way.
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Emac, I can totally understand what you are saying about the weight gain, baldness etc. I have gained a lot of weight, my own fault, I like stuff that though nutritious, is also high in calories. My attitude toward that part of myself is that once I decide to change that, I will automatically start doing what is needed. I do a lot of walking most days of the week and every walk sounds and sometimes feels like a tremendous effort. I don't have the energy I used to though some of that is better with all the black beans and spinach dishes I eat everyday. I find it hard not to be hard on myself about the weight gain but again, have been slowly changing my thought process about that. I find that if I give into my depression, I cannot get anything done but cry. Housework, I do the necessities but am terrible about dusting, lucky if doing it once a week. I have two cats and it should be done more often.
I may take a page out of your book and make a list of what to get done the next day. Thanks for that good idea.
Mel, glad your pain is better today.
Goldens, praying for you and your husband.
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Emac - I feel the same way. I’m a 65 year old in an 85 year old body. None of the patient information tells you about those possible side effects. And they obviously don’t happen to everyone....but it sure seems like a lot of us suffer. In a way COVID is a good thing.....I can hide out at home with my funky grey hair and pot beloy
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Hi All, not been around for a while and have skimmed pages so apologies if I’ve missed anything big for you ladies.
My supposedly wee hospital overnight turned into a 5 day marathon - chest drain ( agony cos of where it was sitting). 3.5l ( about 7/8 pints) of fluid drained off. Pleurodesis procedure and a small infection. Now recovering slowly and have to say the staff were very kind, but the other patients on the ward were either very sick, confused/ dementia or 1 downright nuts. After a quiet cry in the corner on the first night one of the nurses spotted me and arranged for me to move to a side room of my own for the next few nights.... that was a lifesaver as I was about to crack.
Saw MO today, xeloda starts next Thurs - she recognised I need time to recover.
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Karen,
Good to hear from you, and glad that you are healing. Sounds like your hospital stay was anything but "wee." That sounded awful.
Feel better, and fingers crossed for your start on Xeloda.
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cowgal, thank you. I appreciate it. I actually let her know. This has been happening for a while. I was curious if anyone else has this. It's just weird.
Karen, I'm so sorry for what you went through. I hope you're feeling a lot better.
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KBL,
That kind of looks like Blue Finger Syndrome. I agree showing your pictures to your PCP to see if it needs investigation.
Jane
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