My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Grannax~ Honey. Stable is wonderful. Trust me. That is what many women beg to hear. The way they read those reports will vary by person I am sure. They have many many other scans to compare them to from your prior scans so they take the time to compare. Stable is a magic word, stable leads to remission my love., which is where I find myself. Stable can last years. So can remission! My doctor told me that I have so little measurable disease that it may already be dead and just sitting there in all it’s glory, forming sclerotic lesions, which signals healing and dying mets!! There is no guarantees you will progress! Even IMO progression is open to interpretation, because they have something to try and attack all new! Stable is magic!
Happy grand child time. Love the name. Aubrie!! I'll be looking for our you tube star!! ⭐️ 🌟!!
Much love ~M~
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Finally saw my grand puppy. He loves sticks. It's all he wants to do!! He is growing like a weed and is still only six months old. He's still a sweet baby doll. He thinks he is a lap dog! Look at the size of his mouth and paws. This young pup isn't done growing. 🐾 🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾 he just plops down at daddy’s work and starts chewing!Hope everyone is dry and well!! Raining here today. Yuck been sick for a week today, this flu is a doosey! Much love ~M~
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No Super Bowl stuff for us, DH is not into sports and I only enjoy Hockey, so the only games on TV in our house are when the Anaheim Ducks play (grew up in Southern California).
Grannax, sorry about the car and the scans, both are stressful, hoping for positive outcomes for both.
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Micmel, so glad you are posting!!! Have been so worried about you. Hope you are on the upswing and your son too, although I realize it’s going to take a few weeks for things to calm down.
Mae, it sounds like you are doing great! Oh to have a life again!
Grannax, so glad you are getting a reasonable deal on your car! That can be so nerve wracking! I just pray mine holds out because to be honest I don’t have the money to buy another one. I get by month to month as it is, can’t afford any kind of car payment!
I’m so bummed out right now! Even though I have listened to you all talk about the downsides of Ibrance, It has been really difficult. I feel like a complete shut in, I am scared to death to go out with all of the flu going around. And I missing out on things with my grandkids which just upsets me more!
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Mae~I am a huge huge hockey fan. The flyers are my most favorite thing in the world. My son just went to a game before Christmas and had a blast. My best friend hold season tickets and shares with us quite often! Have always been a total hockey fan!!! Sounds like we have a lot in common. I am still also an Eagles fan. But I don’t follow football nearly as much as hockey. I also enjoy watching golf. DH is exceptionally good and. I always enjoyed being in the cart with him in the fresh free air! I miss that feeling. The only feeling I have now are left over body aches. Yuck ! Have a good time with your friends for dinner ! Hugs ~M~
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Gracie, I’m sorry you feeling like you’re missing out but i honestly think it is better to be safe right now. I’m concerned about the flu too, I find myself giving dirty looks to those at work who cough in the elevator with me and children are perfect little disease carriers, lol
Maybe you can video chat with them, while waiting this out.
I so wish paranoia didn’t come with an mbc diagnosis. I’ve had a stiff neck lately and a couple of twinges in head and near my eyes. I had stable/improvement in bone and brain just 3 weeks ago with nothing new, it’s not that, the weather has caused sinus issues with cracky joints but of course “what if” creeps in to muddy rational thoughts, ugh. I’m ready for spring.
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Oh Grannax I'm happy to hear you were holding your grandbaby. I love a baby in the midst especially new ones, so precious. i used to love to cook with my kids and grandkids, I don't do that so much anymore. you made me smile with Julia Childs impressions and cuddly grand babies. I thought about making pumpkin muffins but yesterday was pill 21 and the thought of standing in the kitchen makes me weary. Sorry about your car loss. I hope you get something better this time. Our PET scan results are why we have so much angst before we go. You encourage me when you speak so matter of factly about the results and forge on.
Blueshine I'm happy you had time with your grand baby too!
Micmel I'm so happy that you're feeling a little better. DH being there is probably a huge force behind your wellness. I'm glad that you're off of Ibrance for a break. You need to be strong to fight this flu monster. It has a bad reputation.
Minnie and 50's girl I cooked the mohlokhia the way my friend did. I also cook it separately. My DH likes it on top of his rice. It reminds me of okra because it has a type of consistency like that. I found it in a middle eastern store or maybe the store said Indian spices. It was in the frozen section. Make sure you get the chopped one. It tastes salty only because of the chicken broth. i do sometimes add a few pieces of chicken to it. I'm trying to eat more of the things I need like fiber and vegetables that have iron content that could make a difference in my low iron. I even started eating beets again. I always liked them but only realized recently that they detoxify the liver, increase stamina, help the brain fog. My acupuncture doctor recommended some of these nutritional changes rather than all the supplements that I try to take. I went to acupuncture Saturday and got a vitamin B-12 shot and a list of things to eat for breakfast to prevent me from eating tea and toast breakfasts.
Mae have fun cooking! I made a turkey breast yesterday and it was delicious. I hate cooking the whole bird bc it's just the two of us here.
Wednesday I see my ONC I have to get my list together of questions. i want to travel a little and called the office to see if I could get a vaccine for travel and he said he'd get back to me Tuesday. Ugh! My DH said i seem too out of breath and tired for travel. Since this MBC I don't foresee any time when I won't be having some SE's from medication. My list will include reducing the dosage from 125 to 100 or less because I seem to be getting progressively tired each month that I'm on this 125 Ibrance.
Gracie M my ANC was 1.6 when I started my last round of Ibrance. I started tired so now I'm finishing it like a rag doll. 8 treatments down.
I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of today. It started out warm and breezy and now it's raining here.
Tanya
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Gracie~I always feel like I am missing out. But take it from me, you don't want this flu. I am just now feeling semi better and trust me that's a stretch. I am tired of being sick and sick of being tired. It's all way too much if you ask me. I have to start back on the ibrance tomorrow, my ONC is so aggressive I sometimes can't even keep up with him. But so far, he has been spot on with everything to bring me to remission. I don't want to mess with a thing. I managed to keep taking the anastrasole, which I needed to do. But I agree ibrance can be really rough in the beginning. Middle and all the way in between. I have to admit though. I don't want to to be removed from it because I am not into many doctors visits. As they could tell this week carrying me into the doctors office literally. What an awful awful week. Yuck! I have just had enough. I want mister cancer to pack it up and split!!!
Leave us all alone!
Mae i know what you mean about every ache and pain. The second I don't swallow an ibrance pill I feel a twinge in my side. I was giving it the bird in my head! Annoying!! Enjoy your friend time.
Hello Tanya! Hello Grannax! Keetmom! Minnie! Leapfrog hope those results were what you wanted! The Lynne's! Hope you're all well! Nan, Claudia, Runor, blueshine Much love ~M~
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Tanya. I feel a lot better on 100 mg Ibrance, actually big difference, no more out of breath, not so tired. At the end of a cycle I am pale , but it's going away after few days. I started 125, but my blood results was so bad that I had to have 2 weeks break. Now it's time to start my 3 rd cycle. Will see ..... I hope the MO will reduce it and you will be able to travel and enjoy it. Sometimes I ask myself is it worth to live if you don't have QOL ....
Mae, I am paranoid about the flue too. I don't shake hands and to not hurt their feelings I say that I recently was sick and don't want to give them something. Ha ha , usually they're happy.
Grannax, I am sorry that you lost your car, but more important is that you are not hurt. The stable results I think is really good. I hope to hear the same for mine in February.
They say Love can heal, so I am sending all the LOVE in the world to al of you, wanderful ladies
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MicMel, really sorry that you still don't feel very good. I am taking Mashroom extract Maitake D 4x and I can deal with the SE easier. It gives me energy and my blood recovers faster. I was thinking it could help you too. Check on line if you like it. I order from Amazon.
Hugs ang love
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50sgirl...thanks for your thoughts. So much appreciated. Really xxx
Grannax...so sorry about your crash. I hope you're back to normal soon. (As normal as any of us is).
Micmel...please get well soon. We need you back here. Thinking of you with so much love.....
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Leapfrog~Thank you for the sweet wishes. Another day awake and another day to fight the good fight. I am having coffee, which is a good sign because, I never drink coffee when I am sick. My body just doesn't want it. So this morning it felt like I wanted it. Which is ok with me, each day I hope to feel a little better. Part of me wants to sprint to the store. Just because I feel better but the other half realizes bed is also not such a Bad idea, since I am still very tired from all of this. Worn out, is some words that Come to mind! Oh wait that's Every Day honestly. Glad you're also back here lovely lady! We missed you as well. We were waiting for the scans from you and Grannax! That's what I remember from my fogged out scene! This one time I will remember how brutal this week of flu just barreled right through me and I was Left flat faced down, hands and Arms sprawled outward like our favorite phrase “hit by a bus". I hate that phrase also,but it sure did feel like I was smacked around by something pretty powerful! Stay healthy and wash those hands. I know you're not in the U.S, where it is running rampant! Hide ladies in the U.S.!! Hide! Hope you had a good friendsNight visit Mae! Hugs lovely ladies. ~M~
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Blueshine~ I am so trying to stay up right today. I want to work on my puzzle. Which is more than half way done. Just haven't had the energy at all to plug away at it. I realized why some people die from this thing. Kids who can't rrally complain of the symptoms and or elderly for the same reason. Or they are bed ridden. This moves fast and viscous each and everyday it hangs around. Full time fram for me was one week in total. A lost week again. Yuck. Start my medicine again today. It feels good not taking it. I wonder off arimidex would hold me in remission!? Not worth the chance i knoe. A woman dream! Hugs to you sweet friend! ~M~
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Tanya~Thank you for sharing some delicious tips for healthy choices. I mentioned it to my DH,since he is the chef! He said he would try to make it for me! Sounds like something I could try! Yay! Enjoy the time with your grand kids! Special time!! Off to a small nap perhaps. Stil feeling funky, not as bad. Just over all tired. Much love ~M~
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I need a pin that says I survived the 2018 flu, a car wreck, a bathroom flood all while taking Ibrance......I'm Julie! And i got a stable PET scan result for my reward. If there could have been a video of the past few weeks......
Today my goal is to put the rest of my Christmas stuff up and pay my property taxes before the due date!!!Ha
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Grannax ~🤭😜🤗 LOL! At “ I am Julie “ that was truly a good laugh. Thank you I needed it ! I believe you do deserve that pin. Or heck let's get you a banner! The best parts obviously stable scans! ✅ didn't get hurt in a car accident on no less a PET scan day. That deserves ⭐️✅💞 to be celebrated. For sure. Beautiful! But again thanks for the giggle. My dogs looked at me like huh!? All they are used to hearing from this side of the room anymore was sickly moaning. Gross. Much love ~M~
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Hey gals, feeling pretty well this Monday morning. in the mindset that my current aches and pains are all due to tumor flare and that my woes will be gone after my March PET scan.
Minnie- here's hoping you boldly go to 67 treatments and beyond!
Leapfrog-Hi from the Northeastern US! Is that sunflower on your terrace?
50's girl- you have such kind and supportive way.
Lynne(Man)-hope chemo recovery is coming along. Such a hard week. I remember it being 12 days before I really felt like eating.
Blueshine-how lovely that you could lose yourself in that precious grandchild.
Mae-Sounds as though you had a great Sunday! What is the exact nature of your job? Oh man, those "what ifs"- they are evil. "All we have to fear is fear itself".
Grannax-Fun with grandchildren kills cancer cells! Our time spent dreading progression is the absolute pits. When it happened for me, it took me a couple months to accept it, but then I was able to get back to "normal". One lesion getting a little bigger is probably OK. Overall it looks like IL is holding things. Definitely ask your MO if you should be switching to Falsodex. Any MO "worth their salt" should not be threatened by their patients' looking ahead. You are on the appetizer of the treatment menu. Many targeted therapies are in the pipeline and I think more and more will come available.
Micmel-What a handsome Granddog! Relieved that you are on the mend.One morning soon you will wake up and your body will feel totally free of this flipping virus. ( if not, I have the name of a good exorcist)
Gracie-The flu is a very bad animal and it's good to take precautions. However, I only had one cold during 16 cycles of Ibrance 125. As a retired lab technologist, best advice is to wash hands, wash hands, wash hands! Use hand sanitizer on grocery cart handles. You can get out! just no rock concerts!
Tanya- yay for beets! I grow yummy ones in my veggie garden. I like to make Borsch. I travelled while on Ibrance 125 (2 wks in Ireland). I found being away to be energizing. We did a fair amount of walking, though not as much as in the past. We rented cozy places where we could crash. One day we all stayed in and read books and cooked a proper Irish supper!
Sending love and hugs to all of my MBC sisters. May the force be with you. MJH
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I know that I am coming off of being in bed for a week straight but my lower back is hurting like crazy. Not to mention my head plays games since I missed five days of ibrance i usually would not have. I can't imaine spreading in five days but it just feels more painful today. I realized when I was even worse with an active flu strand, it made me realize that I don't enjoy the treatments at all whatsoever! Not that anyone really does, but this is just torture to have to live this way with contant worry of progression and every single ache and pain, I know it sends me to a place I don't want to be. My stomach also feels a little funky. I am never really nauseous, but the past half week I have been.
I sure hope this is the flu clearing out. I at least want to reach my old new normal. This flu thing freaked me out. Really bad! I really A) can't and don't want to handle any progression
don't and can't change treatment. If I am to at least stay saine enough to fight mentally and physically, I need long long times of remission, or I will loose my mind. It's a terrible thing to live with cancer, it's also very terrible dying from it. We however don't really even have a choice! I hate this so much. Somedays it just hits me hard. The reality of it all. Hits me harder when I don't feel good, because I realize how sick I could possibly get. Umm cruelly terrifying 😞😢🤭💔, it's just not fair. ~M~0 -
MJH, I work for the Texas transportation dept. in contracts for roadway maintenance and repairs, I’m the section lead and it keeps me very busy. This past year has been a beast, multiple storms, Hurricane Harvey floods and rare snow/ice issues. It’s exhausting but only 5 more months until I medically retire!
The dinner and movie last night were both very good, I’m at my H&P treatment now but DH and I will start a new puzzle tonight and have leftovers
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Lol poor puppers. Doesn’t he realize how small that cat is compared to him???? Hope all is well !0 -
Mae~ I don't think your shoes can be filled at your job, which I am sure they will find out quickly, when you decide Youhave had enough of working! I know you have a great job. Sometimes that is hard to give up. I think you're amazing! Much love ~M~
Waving a big hello to MJH! Hope you're doing well darling as well as your precious daughter.
Keetmom~ hope everyone is ok! I know rough it can be!
My Dss isn't well either they don't know what's going on. Blood work tomorrow. Has anyone ever heard of tonsilstones ? Well he has them. I have never heard of anything such as that! What? Ugh!
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Who I once was...
Who I used to be.....
Only comes to me, when I am able to dream....
And In that dream I am able to run...I smile and see Everything that used to be so much fun...
no cancer to slow me....the wind in my hair.... no doctors appointments to schedule .....no new normals to bare....no one saying..."you'll find your peace" or “keep up that great attitude, you've got this I see" No oddly shifting eyes, or simply nothing to say, because inside themselves they alreadyknow....death is coming my way.
I came across this: I wrote this poem on May 30, 2016. I was diagnosed on January 22, 2016. I was in severe shock. This poem showed it. But it's oddly still how I feel.
Good night ladies time to read. Hugs to all that need one. I know I do. ~M~
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dear Micmel, Don't go to bed with this toughs. We all have them, you are not alone. Think about something good and tomorrow is on other precious day of your life. Love you
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Thank you Blueshine~living with cancer is like a full time job. You don't see a time to where you can just say. I don't have to do that anymore. With cancer we all know the only time we can say that is. It's just been an eye opening week of possibilities of complications has shown me, sick is sick! I am sick. I can only be sick. I can never get better. I will never be the Same ever again. Thatmakes me so mad, and no where to go with that anger. I think it all Is too much for anyone to go through. Anyone. I hope things start getting better, before this awful flu hit me. I thought I felt bad then. Ugh! ~M~
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MicMel - The first thing in the morning was to check how you feel today. I thought you already had the fluI heard there is couple more weeks recovery. Drink a lot, a lot of water to flash your system.
Think about how many new drugs will be available for us this year and the next. I know it's saund stupid now, but in my country a famous phycic foretell that "soon the time is coming when medicine will be discovered for all the incurable deseas.........". Don't loose Hope! We need you here. A big hug from me and prayers for all my dear sisters
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Micmel- the poem.....OMG how relevant and nicely composed. My heart hurts to see you railing against this flipping disease. You aren't alone. I'm guessing it's impossible to come to complete acceptance. I went for brunch with 4 of my best girlfriends on Sunday, and I told them " I am living in an alternate reality these days". It was like I wasn't completely there with them, and these are dear friends that I can tell anything. This is a total rip off; it's just nature/biology. There is no rhyme nor reason. Love ya-MJH
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blueshine~Thank you for your kind words. I guess this disease forces an up and down way of living. Somedays I feel strong. Somedays I feel like maybe as long as I stay stable, Isqueak through. I'm just plain scared to progress. Who isn't right ? I know. I sure hope that famous psychic is correct because the time is now. I also realize I still don't feel great at all. I am still tired, my stomach feels off still and my lower back just feels soreness I am not used to feeling. I am hoping it's just my body recovering. But everyday of living with worry or pain, whenever the shoe will drop. Somedays I just don't know How to live with MBC. We shouldn't have to just live this way! It's 2018!! Ugh! Have the best day you can! Hope you're feeling good! May hugs ~M~
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MJH~ I completely understand what you said about being with your four best friends. It's almost like you feel different then they are. Nothing for us is carefree. Even making it out to eat is a big deal for me some weeks. This flu did something. I mean I was feeling so great before. It has to be the flu. This sickness, I caught somehow. It's just too fast for anything else. I am also not really happy that I even had to come off of the medicine. I have never been this sick, while on ibrance before. I don't like not taking the medicine. I feel disappointed that I got that sick. I always like to look at myself as strong, everything we go through to get through just one day. I guess I just have to hope that each day I will feel better. It's just too many feelings of ick that came all of a sudden with this flu. I have no appetite, but need to take my medicines. I don't like playing this game anymore. I hope you will have a good day. I can't wait to have one again soon!! Much Iove ~M~
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Sending you big hugs Micmel! Praying you get a little better. I can’t even imagine having the flu but can tell you the thought scares the beegeebers outta me!!! Hugs hugs hugs!!!
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Micmel, I hope you are feeling better today and continue to improve. It takes time to get your strength back after having the flu. In the meantime, drink lots of fluids and take it easy. Your poem is moving. I have written several poems since my diagnosis, but most of them seem very dark. Maybe I am getting those dark thoughts out so they don't take over. Has your DSS had frequent tonsillitis? Are the tonsil stones big? Painful? Do they need to be treated?
MJH, it is impossible for others to fully know what it feels like to have an illness that will never go away. I pray that none of my friends or family have to go through this. I just try to make the best of what I have. I have a good life, and I don't want cancer to take it over and make me forget what I have.
Well, I am taking care of two of my grandchildren today as I do three days a week. I have to join them in playing and dancing.
Have a good day everyone.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
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