My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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congrats Mae! I'm so glad for you!
Kitty ~ I hope you get to spend sometime with your family soon. That's a long time.
I was estranged from my father, sister and one brother for 13 years. But that was a choice. I can't imagine wanting to see them. Breaks my heart. I am fine now with my sister and my father passed away. I was able to get closure in the 3 months I took care of him while in the home. I went almost every day , washed his clothing , took him outside in the wheelchair. Spent time with him i had lost. We talked through everything came to terms and let it go before he died. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do.
I miss my son. Day 3of him being moved out I've seen him every day. But just want him in his room. I want him home. Around me. My dd also. I want my people around me I deeply need that. I start therapy Wednesday. It will do me good. Empty nest syndrome. I know it's the right thing. I just feel like my job is done they don't need me anymore to kiss boo boos or calm after a bad dream. I look at my son and I see my bright blonde blue eyed boy asking me for juicy juice in his sippy cup. How could those years be gone. ? Where did they go. Do I have a memory jar? I can view those happy loving times ? Being a mother is my most treasured thing that has ever happened to me. But also the hardest. Kinda like cancer doubled (least treasured and hardest thing to go through)0 -
Well, not surprised but my province announced new restrictions including closing of gyms, cinemas and no indoor dining. Getting used to the idea that this may become a yearly thing. Malls and stores are 50 per cent capacity as well. I am glad to have had the booster shot.
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moth - I hope you had exactly the birthday you wanted. So sorry about your progression and with the hassle over new medication.
Mae - sorry I missed pocket duty, but yay for the good (and quick) results!
Signing up for pocket duty for Rosie and KBL...what to bring...I made an amazing pot of white acre peas, the last ones I brought from Florida, so I'll bring those.
Mel - empty nest is so hard in the beginning, but you will be so proud to see your son thrive on his own. He couldn't have done so without you.
Mara - you are so resilient!
Happy New Year to everyone! ::waving all around the rooom::
I've been MIA a few weeks, and am just getting caught up. We completed our move to Texas, and I promptly came down with the flu. The first time in years I missed getting a flu shot and I paid for that procrastination with 5 days of misery. I'm feeling better now and ready to start some serious unpacking. Oh! And my daughter will be here in 3 weeks! And will be living within 2 hours of us! Way better than cross country!
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Has anyone heard from GrannaX2? She hasn't been on this thread for a while. I start to worry when people disappear.0 -
Trishyla, I saw grannax on the clinical trial thread a couple months ago but nothing since then. I had wondered too and now again. Hopefully she’ll pop back up somewhere.
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SeeQ,
So sorry you had the flu. I had Influenza A a year ago, and I honestly thought I was going to die. I hope yours wasn’t that bad. I, also, will now get a flu shot every year. Glad your move is over and you are closer to your family. I wish so bad that I had not moved from PA to FL because it’s getting expensive flying back as often as I do. Miss my sisters every day…
Trishlya,
When you posted about Grannax, it stopped me in my tracks. I have also not seen her post here in a long time. I hope she’s ok. Wonderful woman.
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haven’t seen Grannax in a while now. Last time was liver thread.
BooBoo~I wish you didn’t move also.
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I've been wondering and worrying about Grannax as well.
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Hopefully Grannax is OK and just taking a lengthy break but I feel the same when people disappear, worrying about them.
Not a good end to the day, threw up my supper, has not happened in quite a while, hopefully tomorrow is better since I get Herceptin.
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Mara, I'm sorry you threw up. No fun!
I hope Grannax is OK, too.
Carol
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Mara- when did you get your booster? I hope it wasn't a side effect from that. Whatever it's from I do hope you feel better soon.
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I got the booster on Sunday. I never felt sick but who knows the cost, not sure if it was the booster or not. I will go to bed early tonight and see what tomorrow brings. Hopefully I can walk to the hospital as a start to walking again. I think that would help.
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Mara~ have some Crackers and ginger ale. Settles my stomach.
Hope everyone is doing the best they can. Pocket duty bright and early for anyone who needs it.
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mara: Lordy. I am so sorry about your tumble. Be careful. We are getting much more snow and cold then we have had for many years. I just hate it. I really want to get out and take a really long walk. I hoped it would help with the fatigue I can't seem to shake. I am more mobile then I was but I am nowhere near my usual self. My friends think of me as one of those Every Ready Bunnies. Our snow turns to slush quickly then freezes, then it snows again, It is treacherous. Most residents due their best to shovel and salt, then it rains, then it snows and freezes. Enough already.
LivingIVLife: Getting back to you. I do H&P every three weeks. I have never had any issues and my blood work has been good -- no low counts that could explain being so tuckered. I sent an email to my MO. He is pretty good about getting back.
moth: what is happening with you?
Somewhere on the Forum I mentioned that I had an "Enigma" in my upper left arm bone marrow. I have had a PET, MRI and CT and all were "undeterminated" (??) --- so I kind of wonder if my fatigue might be related to that. I am being set up for a bone marrow biopsy - date not yet set. Not looking forward to that but maybe it will hold the answer
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Well, I walked to and from the hospital today. Used almost what felt like a march, really lifted foot and that worked for the way there. Temperature was above freezing so the snow on the sidewalk was soft. On the way home, got up to the crosswalk and managed to slip and land on my butt. Good thing is that my butt a big cushion. I promptly cried, not particularly hurt since I did not land on bone. Two nice ladies helped me get up. I cannot get up off the ground.
Nothing could have prevented sliding as the curb rounded down to the road and I was wearing boots that are supposed to be antislip. No chance to avoid it.
Also not giving up on the walking either. What I will wear as footwear with the snow and ice on the sidewalks, much like what Elderberry describes where she is are traction cleats at the bottom of my sneakers. Only reason I don't love them is I have a hard time getting them back on my shoes when I go to a store. Solved this for myself by deciding to wear the shoes for walking with cleats, take them off, slide into another pair of shoes before going in a store and then slipping back into the cleats on the way home. I have worn the cleats before when i did winter walking a lot.
Mel, I did feel better today when I got my Herceptin so that was good. Not sure what happened yesterday but it was a one off which is bood.
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Mara~I am so sorry that you fell again. I feel like hugging you. Poor girl Geeze. What we go through.
I started therapy today, very draining. Talking about being terminal wasn’t enjoyable. I did like her though. That helps. I go again next week. I’ll get used to that too. Just upsetting k owing we’re talking about my condition, even though good now, could change quickly. Roller coasters!
Hope everyone is ok. Hugs to all. Hello elderberry!
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Mel, glad you are getting help and that you like the person you are talking to. Helps so much for sure, hope this helps you. No talking about being terminal is not enjoyable in the least but you obviously handled it and that is good. I forget I am terminal sometimes too when it comes to day to day life myself. Hugs to you.
I also will not let this slip on the ice stop me, was not like tripping, just have to work on getting up after a fall. Starting to do that at least once a day at home from the floor and will use a step bench as the support to train with.
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Mara, so sorry to hear you fell again and had to be helped to stand, I know that feeling, I've been working on getting up by myself as well after my two falls, I can get up now, it's not a pretty sight but at least I can rescue myself if no one is around.
Mel, I'm pleased to hear you like the counsellor, it really does make a big difference. Elderberry, I hope the bone biopsy will finally give you some answers.
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Damn, mara! I'm sorry you fell again. I'm glad someone was there to help you up and am glad that you're not giving up on walking. I think I'd feel very insecure about going out.
mel, I'm glad you had a good, albeit difficult talk with your therapist and that you like her. I called a counselling center once and the person I talked to on the phone (this was WAY pre-COVID) had my treatment plan all mapped out without even meeting me. I never went in person.
Sam my MO today and had my Zometa infusion. Feeling OK, just the usual fatigue...
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mel, glad you saw the counsellor & sounds like you 'clicked' - I think therapy is often really painful but the rewards are great. (kind of like proper massage & physio - it damn hurts...)
mara - glad your fall didn't result in injury! The snow and ice mix is so hard to deal with. I walked today with Olive with cleats. Our side streets are sheets of ice.
elderberry - sorry you're feeling trapped at home. And we have more snow coming. sheesh ... & then the rains right after. I think many places will get flooded again.
I haven't heard anything about treatment yet. Tomorrow was supposed to be my q 3 weeks abraxane which has been cancelled. Physically I feel great, kwim - or as good as I ever get these days. The week before the abraxane I was always at my peak activity.
I'm pretty anxious waiting to see if the approval goes through & if not, what our alternate plans will be. But I'm keeping busy distracting myself - endless things to do and watch and listen to. Distraction & dogs are my favourite coping mechanisms lol
hugs everyone
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Mara, I’m sorry you fell. I hope you don’t have pain from it.
Mel, I’m so glad you liked the therapist. I am keeping you in my thoughts. I want you to have happiness that I know you deserve.
Moth, I’m glad you’re feeling great. I agree, dogs are a great distraction. I hope you get an answer soon.
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Thank you KBL, Kitty,Mara, sunshine, moth The first meeting is always the most emotional because it’s the intake meeting where they decide if they would like to work with you , or help you or not. She said she would like to work with me so I’m going again next week. I would go every week. But it’s 32$ per time and that adds up on an income. I felt like she listened and she certainly understood points I had and she had ones I had never seen that way. I got my nails done first. It was an ok day for sure.
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Mara you poor woman. Even if you fall on your butt it still hurts. So glad you had help to get up. I know if I'm on the floor for whatever reason I have to literally crawl to something to hang on to so I can get up. Not a pretty sight.
Mel- so happy you got to a therapist to talk.It is so hard to talk openly about how it feels to be in this position. Is there an organization that can help with the payments for the therapist.
Moth- hope you hear something soon on your treatment. Keeping yourself busy is the best way to try not to think about it.
Elderberry- I know how you feel when you just want to get outside. I hadn't been out for over a week so today I hopped in the car and went to Walmart for a few things and picked up a few groceries. It was good to get out on my own . I enjoy alone time.
I did hear where the weather out west has been pretty crappy. We have a snow storm coming Friday afternoon. I get my booster on Friday so I hope it will hold off until then. I talked to my MO yesterday and he's keeping me on Ibrance 100mg until at least he sees the CT scan results I'm getting on the 25th.
To everyone have a good evening.
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Living ~I hope You stay on ibrance. I’m thinking of you.
Hello to SeeQ and Elderberry! Sending hugs out …
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Mel,
I am so happy for you. Taking that first step out the door for therapy is so hard. It takes courage to go and talk about your feelings. As someone said—the rewards are so worth it. Half of the battle is finding someone you are comfortable with, so I’m even more glad about that. You really do deserve to find your happy place and make the most of your time left with your family. I like to say we’re all terminal…however, those of us with MBC just happen to know that our expiration is looming. Hope you have a good day, my friend.
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Mara - so sorry for the second fall. We all know you are being very careful but sometimes Mother Nature has other plans. Good idea about the cleats!
Mel - I’m so glad you like your therapist. That is such a big hurdle. Try to forget about the cost right know. She needs to work with you more frequently in the beginning. Eventually you can go to every other week or even more spaced out visits.
I’m really struggling with anemia. My hemoglobin was 7.6 on Friday. I can barely walk from one room to another - shortness of breath and severe fatigue. Prior MO thinks this is due to the sepsis and shoulder infection along with Ibrance and thinks my numbers will go up this week (week off Ibrance). I’m getting blood work done weekly. My internist is thinking of a referral to a hematologist depending on this weeks test results. It seems like none of us can get a break - always something messing with our bodies and minds🙄🙄🙄
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Goldens- Sorry to read you are having so much trouble right now with your blood levels.
Mel- Hoping the therapist will be of help to you.
Mara- Oh my. another fall !!! Be careful, my friend.
Elderberry- Hope the bone biopsy is all clear. I know you want an answer to the arm "enigma", but hope that things are ok.
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Goldens~I hope your blood levels bounce back really soon. I am thinking of you.
Candy~Hello dear woman. Hugs to you as well.
BooBoo ~I know it’s the right thing. But like you said hard to do. It’s hard to hear it out loud and know it’s you you’re discussing in those terms. Not planning things or knowing I would see my grandchildren some day. Heartbreaking real life realities for me and for us. I’m not ready to let go of people. those I love. I’ll continue to go. I know it will help. Thanks my friend for caring
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Mara sorry to hear about your fall. You’re such a trooper so solution focused. Cleats on shoes, other shoes ready for a swap out in the store. It’s so nice that the ladies helped you up. When I fell two people helped me up too. I guess I was in denial bc I was insisting I could get up by myself. Embarrassed and confused probably but definitely grateful for the help.
Mel I’m glad you started your therapy. You got the cancer out of the way so next time you can talk about some other things.
Elderberry that’s crazy that your arm is still not giving up the info. What are you and what’s going on in there.
Goldens I’m sorry your blood count went so low. I have a batch of vitamins that I need to resume taking. When my iron gets low I need red meat. I’m not a big red meat eater but I try. Do you have any things that you do to build it back up?
Booboo nice seeing you.
My daughter was negative for Covid so we’re free to move around the house. The kids are in zoom school this week as a precaution. I don’t like it bc I kind of have to be present. Dad is at work and DH has appts. I’d rather be in bed for a couple of hours.
Waving hello to everyone
Tamy
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Tanya~ Hi darlin. Good point you made about getting the cancer out of the way to focus on other things as well. I plan to. I just wish we all didn’t have it. It lives in the back of my mind the evil seed. Hope you can get some rest also. A lot of schools are returning to zoom. Covid is amok again. Ugh!
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