MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Hi, I love this thread. I'm 45 and have 2 young children at home. I feel too old to be part of the younger thread but not really old yet. You know the doctors keep telling me how young I am (to have breast cancer, that is!).
I had chemo April-August and started radiation about 1.5 weeks ago. I'm tired of the treatment and worry about my kids every day. How this will affect them and how they will remember my treatment.
Looking forward to meeting all of you,
Pam
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opps ! I missed your post Kimmer51 !
Welcome, Welcome !!
You have had quite a time these past months........... I know the baby probably was not something you would have asked for at this time in your daughters life, but this baby girl will be a great distraction and source of joy for you during your cancer journey. The little guy in my Avatar with me is our youngest Grandchild Lincoln. He was born the month before my DX and is the only grandchild out of 11 that live in town, all the others are all over the country. I realize the circumstances are a bit different than yours, but a baby is a baby and the healing powers can be amazing ! Whenever I felt down my SO would say do you want to go see Lincoln ? What a blessing he has been to me.
How is your Dad doing ? I will remember him and you in my prayers...
Good Luck today with your appt.
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Hi Pam !!
Welcome to you too..........
you posted while I was typing ! None of us really FEEL like we're "old" do we Ladies ??
well at least maybe not in our heads ? Great to have you with us, you have your hands full also with two young ones and Chemo.
(((((blessings and hugs)))))) to you ................
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gcarter - what do you want to quit? I hope that the insurance company approves at least the Oncotype DX test. Seems to me that this should be almost automatic: chemo is SO expensive, so if they could pay $3800 and even 10% of the time "avoid" paying for chemo due to a low recurrence score, you'd think that would be a "no-brainer." I hope that you heal well this time!
Still have to make an appointment for my BRCA test, which I didn't have last year due to being busy (and sleepy from radiation!). I also have a gut feeling that my cancer hit me due to a combination of years of BCP's, borderline depression due to two moves over the last eight years, and insufficient exercise, enhanced by lots of sugar (weight is not an issue - but food choices are not always the best). I've read bits and pieces of the book "Anti-Cancer," and although I have only one "known" standard risk factor - having my children at age 31 and 33 - these things I mentioned above are discussed in that book as possibly predisposing one to develop cancer. I've heard that many insurance companies want to move the base age for approval of BRCA testing down to 40. With my diagnosis at 45, I'm at the weird "high" end for a "young" breast cancer diagnosis...
glassist - what a beautiful weekend for a hike here in Texas! Looks like it's going to be a wild weather night tonight...
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Kimmer51 - WOW! You are certainly experiencing the epitome of "middle age." I don't think you could be more in the middle of things, with your father's colon cancer and your breast cancer and your young daughter's new baby. Make sure you take some time to take care of yourself in the midst of all of this. Sometimes I wonder if our caretaking of others and our lack of selfishness is a "risk factor." I'm full of theories today, am I not? Sorry.
Coleen
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Rads # __ despising rads even on my DAY OFF!
My doctor won't even admit that my burning esophagus and acid stomach are from the rads. Whereas the last time I had a reflux problem was 18 years ago during a pregnancy, so I am very sure it is from my treatment I have been feeling bad since Weds., but the weekend was WORSE and it's not much better today even tho' I have this extra day off. I'm upset because I think the rads are damaging something in my G.I. tract (just like they are damaging my lung.) Some of the people on the rads thread have mentioned feeling this and their doctors won't admit it either.
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Kleenex,
I started tacking chantrix. I have not stopped smoking. I know!! Its a secret. My husband knows but, nobody else. Embarrases yes! but, it is what it is. I hope to get some help but, really my mind isnt ready. How bad is that? Cancer and your mind is not ready. So, I guess i am ready for the ammunition. Anybody else? or am I the only one?
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Hang in there Elimar, I am certain that the Rads casues other issues, I had no GI issues but had arm and shoulder pain that is now gone. I have a rash inbetween my breasts, up the right side of my neck and a littel on my right breast the one radiatied, did anyone else ahve this? It does not itch too bad but it has been there for a few days.
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kimmer, please get a colonoscopy yourself, keep your chin up hon, life gets better after txs
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gcarter, My husband was on Chantix at the beginning of the year. It's pretty expensive, and if you are not ready to quit, it is a waste of money. My DH is still smoking, even after visiting my uncle who was losing his battle with lung cancer after smoking for decades.
Everything has to be in the right place for qutting. Good luck!
It's too bad there isn't something that we could "quit" that would lessen our chance of BC, huh? What would that be......
Maybe if we had quit wearing tops that accentuated our busts when we were in high school, then we might have lessened our chance of developing BC. Or, perhaps i was the slow dancing in our youth, too much chest to chest contact.
Sorry, trying to find humor today.
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Meece, there is a whole thread on that topic:
Forum Index → Forum: Moving Beyond Cancer → Topic: Let's conduct our own study on how we all got breast cancer
It is definitely a good place to find some humor. I don't believe that anyone's mentioned the slow dancing chest to chest contact connection yet, you should post it there.
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Okay, we just had a wild Texas storm! INCHES of rain in about 2 hours...thunder and lightening...nutts!
Glad many of you looked up our homecoming MUM tradition here in Texas...it is pretty outstanding. My dd is a senior so her mom was a traditional silver/white with just a bit of school colors added and was a triple mum. Hers had a neck strap to hold it---it would have torn a shirt<g>.
Welcome to everyone new.
And I think it was Pam who said she wished she hadn't waited 2 years to get her Mammo.....think of it this way....your tumor may not have shown up the past two years...they tell us that our tumors may have been growing for 10+ years but that doesn't mean they would show up. I didn't get my first mammo until this June, I was 45. Just was busy and never took the time. And even a very thorough diagnostic mammo, U/S and biopsy didnt' reveal the 2nd tumor that the MRI picked up.... Just thougth I would share that perspective. At least we got our mammos when we did---it could have been much later and much worse!
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Elimar,
I'm sorry, ((((HUGS)))) Hang in there sistah ! I'm saying prayers for you tonight.
All my Middle friends, Blessings !!
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God bless you too, Nebraskagrandma. I have been enjoying
you caring notes, Praying for everyone that need comfort.
We are so luckly to have alot of caring people and not rude.
Hanging in there myself, But we can do it! Hugs,Footprintsangel
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I am also very thankful for all the caring and fun people on this thread. I apologize for not mentioning specific individuals, but I want you all to know I think about and pray for all of you. We are a great community of women!
About the mammograms - I had a mammogram in January of this year that was completely clear. I found my lump myself in May. Had another mammogram that also showed clear. Then went for the sonogram and the lump was clear as day. I guess it just proves how important the self exams are and that we are our best advocates in finding these nasty little things.
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I found a quote on another thread written by member KAK last month:
"After the slash/burn/poison protocol, I don't know how anyone expects us to feel normal."
Indeed!
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Ya, and amen to that Elimar. To say nothing of those gals who have other continuing issues......
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A great quote from Maya Angelo that I wrote in my BC Journal,
"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."
Then I wrote "We can only hope that's true." I wrote it July 26th 2008, it was 13 days after my MX.
I had a nice long post written and as I was proofing it, I hit a wrong key and Opps ! it disappeared !
Gee does anyone know how to get those back when they disappear like that ? duhhhhhhhhhh
I feel like such a dumb dumb when I do that..............
((((((HUGS)))))) all around and blessings to all !
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Nebraska, if I'm writing a long post, I tend to highlight it after every few sentences and hit control C to copy it. This way, if I accidently delete it, I just have to press control V and instantly it's back. I
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Sharon51, is that your chocolate puppy?
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Glassist, that's what scares me most about breast cancer. I know of others who had a clear mammogram and weeks later they find a malignant lump. In my case, I had no lump. Fortunately it showed up in my mammogram. I have a mammogram every year and although the doctor said this probably started long before it showed up, at least it was caught this year.
I just went for genetic testing yesterday.
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Friends in the middle.
Sorry to hear of the frustrations of some......
New mantra: "this too shall pass" or how about my favorite bumper sticker:
"When you're going thru hell, keep going." Winston Churchill.
My third bumper sticker bit of wisdom:
"When there's absolutely nothing to laugh about -- laugh on credit."
xx00xx00xx00xx00xx
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My Mantra: Life is a series of peaks, valleys and plateaus.
It's actually been my mantra since grade 7. I guess I was going through something at the time (can't remember what) but my physical education/health teacher sat me down and told me this. She said aim for the peaks but enjoy the comforts provided by the plateaus. Funnily enough, just prior to having this years mammogram (and DX), I was trying to fall asleep on night and realized I had been on a plateau for several years. I thought to myself, darn, I hope it's followed by a peak and not a valley. I always think of life in these terms. I had no idea the my valley was going to be breast cancer.
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Mantra.your avatar dogs are cute. Is the dark one wearing a shirt collar and tie? What's the occasion?
I am one who had a clear screening mammo last year. No lump detected by Gyn. Dr. either. Found my lump a few weeks later, ignored it awhile with a false sense of security. My bad. Took my palpable lump for a diagnostic, including extra compression (ow!) views. Nothing showed up. Tissue was just too dense. Ultrasound picked it up as a solid mass. MRI did get a visual confirming it. I now realize that all my follow-up screenings are going to be tricky and I'll wonder if something is HIDING in there. Think U/S will probably be routine for me from now on. I'm glad that I always found Ultrasound to be relaxing.
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Yep . . ., "the boys" were all dressed up for New Years Eve in Florida. They are both wearing the same shirt collar with bowties. Unfortunately, neither had a date for the evening so we call the photo "all dressed up with nowhere to go."
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Mantra
Thank-you I will try that, it's so irritating when that happens. It seems like you should be able to retrieve it from a trash bin somewhere !
Footprintsangel,
Thank-you, I feel so fornuate not to have to do all the TX my BC friends do. The least I can do is give encouragement and prayers whenever I can.
Elimar,
I think after a person goes through BC, you are never "normal" again (whatever that is) I think we get a "New" normal. As long as we are still here, & fighting it's a good thing. I plan on being here to see Lincoln graduate from High School
faithandfifty,
I used that saying "this too shall pass" on my 17 year old Granddaughter because she was whining about her boyfriend being gone at boot camp. She said Grandma I don't get it
So I explained it. My point being I guess we all belong here together because we all get it !glassist,
you are so right about our group of Ladies, they are the greatest. Strangest thing about us (other than the obvious) is circumstances are different for many of us, even though we all have BC. I have heard from several ladies that the mammo didn't find theirs, but for me if it was not for a digital mammo mine may not have been found yet. I had micro calcifications in clusters, when biopsied found to be DCIS.
Blessings "Middles" and Keep on Keepin' On !!
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Hello to all, my mother always says when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. You can be sad and cry for awhile but when the crying is done the problem will still be there so deal with it the best you can. I am blessed to have my Mother still with us, I think this is good advice for every thing in life including BC.
I try to count my blessings everyday, but some days curse my challenges!!!
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Nebraska, when I lose my longer posts I hit the "back" button in the web browser. It seems to be there, and I copy it and paste in into a fresh post.
I have said it before, but I wish I had found this place six years ago when I got my first dx. You ladies do "get it". I have learned so much by ready through everyone's experiences. A big thank you goes out from me to all my new "sisters".
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Meece,
Thanks for the addtional tip, I can always use them
I'm glad you like it here 'cause we like you too ! We can thank Elimar for starting this great place, Thanks, Elimar 
your the greatest ! I'm sure that Elimar is glad she wasn't here 6 years ago though..........
Blessings to all my "Middles"
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I am just glad I am here 6 years later!
I think the one thing that resounds throughout these topics is "You will never feel normal again" or "You experience a new normal". How true.
Something about experiencing cancer changes things within your mind and how you see things.
I may seem intolerant at times, but I don't put up with people treating me or my family poorly any more. I avoid them, but if it comes to having to deal with them, I tell them I will not accept being treated that way. I used to be shy and mousy, not any more. I am nice, just not a pushover anymore.
I am way more sympathetic for the underdog. I cry alot at chick-flicks. I cry when I read posts on this website.
I pay attention to my breasts everyday. They are no longer just along for the ride. I am aware of every twinge, itch, swell etc.
I don't look forward to dr. appointments, but I go regularly, because every one I get through means I am "clear" for a little more time.
Speaking of time, I appreciate it. My decisions in life are more related to what I can accomplish in a reasonable amount of time.
Those are just a few ways my life and outlook have changed. I am sure I could think of a lot more, but I would bore you to tears.
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